How do you stay in love with your husband when sometimes it seems like you are being used.?

Answer 1

You need to pleasure him orally.

Answer 2

sometimes you probably are being used, and sometimes you are using him, as much as that is possible in a marital relationship anyway. the point is to have someone to do things for and to do things for you. things even out, there will be times when it seems he's on 'top' and others when you will be (and i dont mean sexually). you won't even always feel like you are in love with your husband, but if you stick to it the feelings come back, its like a rollercoaster. you didn't really say here whats going on so i'm just guessing, if something is happening you don't like you need to speak up, remember that you teach people how to treat you, if you won't tolerate being treated a certain way people can't do it, either that or they can't be part of your life. there is a fine line between being helpful and caring and being a doormat, we woman often find that line very difficult to see, decide for yourself where it is for you and stop anyone trying to cross it. good luck to you.

Answer 3

You can love someone and not have a good relationship. Those are two different things. Sounds like time to have a heart to heart with hubby. Lay your cards out on the table and ask him to listen and then see what he says. Let him know what your deal breaker is and that you aren't happy. He needs to hear it. You need to say it. You both need to thnk about it and take the necessary steps to correct things.

Answer 4

If you are so close to knowing it that you are asking it, then it probably is so. But, everyone uses people arround them- the varriances you have to get used to or tell him he cannot use you that way.. I use my beloved in that she does the house management almost completely, I reward her with doing for her things she cannot do for herself. You may be being selfish, and wanting more done for you than you are doing for him.. Dr. Laura Schlesinger(sp) has written many very insightful books on this.. Oh, plz, get some.. She can help you..

Answer 5

If you feel you are being used, it may be because you don't feel that emotional connection to him anymore. You guys may want to consider working on that emotional connection between you two; hold hands, go out on dates, take time alone together talking (nicely! no arguments, please. :-D), do things that you both enjoy; going to the grocery store doesn't count. Do you have children? Get a sitter and go out for a night alone, like you used to when you were dating. Marriage is about the two of you; dating brought you two close together, and a marriage doesn't survive without that same closeness. And to keep the closeness, you have to work on it.

For instance, my husband and I go out on regular dates without our kids. Continuing our dating habits keep us close, in tune with each other. So that, one day, when he saw that I was particularly stressed, he called my sister to watch the kids on a spur of the moment, and took me out. No where special to anyone else, but places he knew I'd like. We walked around my favorite used book store, got some coffee, rented some movies, and window shopped. This, in turn, strengthens our emtional connection more; end result, we love each other more.

If trying to improve this by yourself doesn't work, get a marriage counsellor. A neutral mediator may help you two work out issues that we know nothing about, and will able to offer suggestions on how to strengthen that emotional connection that are tailored to your particular needs.

Answer 6

Have you discussed this with him? If you think you're being used, then put a stop to it. People cannot take advantage of you, unless you let them.

Bottom line though, communicate, communicate, communicate. If you cannot do that, the foundation of your relationship is not whole...and nothing lasts long without a solid foundation.

Answer 7

The reason for that, is because you can't help feeling the way that you feel for him. But that's not mean that it's okay for him to use you. You love just because you may have your own reasons of why you do. We don't just love people just to love them or for no reason at all or because we feel obligated to feel that way for them. You love him, even when you feel as though he's using you but that's just the way that you feel for him. Would anyonelse feel that way for him, if he were using anyonelse? How do you stay in love? Do you want to stay in love with him? If you don't love him and plus he's using you that's not a good marriage, it just can't be. You've got to talk to him about it and see what his response is and what he does. Because you can't just not do nothing, because what do you get out of nothing? See what I mean? Do you want to stay in love with him? do you want the marriage to work?

Answer 8

You can't stay in love with someone you feel is using you. You need to talk about this. You need to find out why you feel this way. Is he abusing you, ignoring you or busy with other things. Or is this rooted in childhood.? Did you feel used in other relationships? You have to respect yourself first. If he really is using you then respect yourself enough to get out of the relationship. Ask him to listen to your feelings, but if he doesn't want to or can't you might need to consider leaving him. If it is your mistrust from past bad experiences then get counseling. In fact get counseling no matter what. You need support in looking into this problem.

Answer 9

okay, feelings don`t work that way, you don`t DECIDE to stay in love with someone, you either are or you aren`t. If you aren`t, get out...if you are in love you don`t necessarily have to stay with the guy. If you feel like you`re being used than you need to talk to him and tell him what`s up.

Answer 10

yr either inlove with someone or not. sounds like there is a major problem communication breakdown. maybe some sit down talks about how yr feeling. takes alot to keep a relationship going

Answer 11

I'm going through the same thing right now! Wish I had an answers for ya! Just know you're not alone~! Best of luck!!!