Im in love with my wifes friend, should I tell her?

Question

Me and my wife are miserable, and have been for a while. The only reason we are still together is for convience. I am head over heels in love with her friend. Should I tell her to find out how she feels about me, or don't go there? You have to understand if I see her my heartrate increases, if I speak to her my legs start shaking. It's not just lust.

Answer 1

What you've described is infatuation, not love. The sweaty palms, the shaky legs, the sudden inability to speak... It's infatuation, and it will eventually pass. If you leave your wife and have sex with her friend, your relationship with this woman will most likely end within a year.

True love brings peace and clarity. It alters you fundamentally, and you see things differently. You might act like an idiot when you're in (true) love, but it's because you feel so unbelievably complete that nothing else matters. People's opinions just won't matter. This kind of love has nothing to do with sex, although it complements it nicely. ;)

Your marriage is another matter altogether. Honey, I don't know about you, but I'd choose happiness over convenience. Either your marriage is worth salvaging or it's not. Make your choice and make it happen. No matter which you choose - to scrap the marriage or to fix it - it is a better use of your time to make yourselves truly happy and productive. Just use common sense. Life is much too short to waste being miserable in a relationship that doesn't have to be that way.

Answer 2

I bet you felt the some way about your wife before she became a witch right,maybe you looking for something new because your marriage is miserable and your wife friend is so nice to you and show you a lots of respect that about it ,it will hurt everyone and I mean the friend as well ,so if you can stop the fastic and work on your relationship with the wife ,because your wife really do need her friend see if you can find someone else beside her but divorce or work on the relationship with you wife first if this doesn't then look ,,Please don't go with the friend it will hurt both and a friendship that will be lost forever because of you

Answer 3

All the things you listed are emotional responses to physical attributes ---- call it physical attraction(lust) --- turned on---

You are looking for an out --- since your own relationship with your wife isn't what it should be --- why not work on that for starters, take a marriage counseling course --- if you two can deal with the issues that are causing problem in your marriage then by all means do so... you and the wife can start the healing process and start rebonding - rekindling the romance takes effort on both parts ---- and to keep the romance going both of you will have to make equal contributions --- put space between you and temptation--- that will only cause more harm.

Answer 4

well yes you should tell her about your feelings for her friend (if you want her to initiate divorce proceedings).
have you actuly had an affair with her friend or is it just infatuation?
what ever you decide to do communication is the key to any relationship tell your wife exactly whats on your mind and tell her you have fallen out of love with her if thats whats happened.

just get down in your head exactly what you want to say to your wife. if you do not want an argument write down your thoughts and feeling and give it to her to read. this will in all probability still end up with your wife being upset and shouting at you. try to remain calm and collected let her get out what she has to say, remember your both entitled to your opinions.
as for telling the wifes friend how you feel thats your choice and your choice alone. Yes tell her how you feel, if your lucky she may feel the same way about you.
or more likely be repulsed that her friends husband is interested in a relationship with her.

communicate to both women your feelings. this will probably end up in you having neither woman, but thats a risk you run with this situation.

Answer 5

I Think that if your truly not happy then you should deffinently sit down with her and talk to her. Dont tell her about the Friend right away and If you two do decide to go your seperate ways than i think you should take a little time to yourself and figure out what you really want in life. If This friend of hers is really the one for you then Love Will Wait!!! Good Luck!

Answer 6

O but it is....you have been physically, sexually and mentally neglected for a long time and quickly replacing one love with another will put you in the same place you are in right now. The best thing for you to do is to leave your wife and stay single for at least one full year to get your head back on straight.

Answer 7

Tough decision, If you and your wife are miserable why make her more miserable and pursue her friend? If they are good friends you will still have to see or hear about your soon to be ex wife....NOT GOOD, don't go there. I would get professional help because allot is at stake not just hurt feelings and friendships.

Answer 8

What grade will you be in school in the fall? Sounds like you're 16. Grow up. Give your wife a chance to deal with the truth and then go chase cheap women all you want once she kicks you to the curb.

Answer 9

Have you and your wife talked and done all you can do to help your relationship?if you really don't love her and don't care. leave. Why put yourself through the bs and being miserable.Get yourself put back together b4 you try dating again.You are lusting cause you have not gotton what you needed for so long.Telling her will only break that relationship up with her friend.She will feel to okward talking to your wife again.......she will tell her if she's a real friend.Like i said,,,,,get out first.

Answer 10

i think youare just going to cause a lot of drama, if you let her know then what if she doesnt feel the way you do. what if she doesnt feel the same way you do, then yo uwould have lost a friend and a wife. ithink we all have our crushes but we must know when to say "wait a minute i should act on it or it will hurt alot od people" good luck.