Why does everyone keep telling me I "need help" and blah blah?

Question

Are you psychologists? Then help me then. Ohterwise, have any of you ever been sad as all hell? Thought so. It's so easy for you mothers with the perfect sensitive men and fathers to your baby to attack me and accuse me of being a mess. maybe I am a big crybaby, maybe my husband sucks, but I love my baby just as much, if not more, than you perfect people with the Mr.Wonderful daddies and husbands do. OK? So, if you have all this judgement to cast, provide links, or something. Or just omit my question. I didn't ask for my husband to change and be insensitive and a stupid rock who does care for the baby, but never cried at the miracle of her being her and me surviving. I bet most of you just had routing great deliveries, and your men STILL cried in joy. I lost enough blood to die, I had hypertenstion (which of course the blood loss temporarily cured) and I was lucky enough to have a baby strong enough to push herself out because I couldn't and I was on my way to the OR just as she came

Answer 1

word... thanx 4 2 points! =D

Answer 2

Not all mothers have perfect sensitive men. it does sound as if you are being a huge cry baby. How can you say you love your baby more than any other mother loves theirs grow up just because your feeling down don't mean you can slate every other mother in the world. You may have had a rough time giving birth but so have many others including me but i don't rant and rave like you I've had a cesarean section three times now and my partner only came in to watch the first one he wouldn't come in again my mum had to. It don't mean he don't love the others as much be cause he does and not all men cry at the birth of their baby and so what if they don't you have a baby why worry that hes not cried at the birth if that's all you have to worry about then you haven't got enough to do with your time try focusing on your little girl and stop moaning she should be the most important thing now not you or him its all about her now get on with your lives and stop worrying over something that is so silly your daughter needs you now and this time is so precious enjoy it as you can never get it back. if your truly down and need a friend to talk to then just ask or go see a doc you may have postnatal depression please get checked out. hope you sort everything out and be happy with your family........GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I'll tell you that you need to talk to a doctor NOW about PPD because I saw a friend go through it. Please get help because if you don't you might do something to yourself or to your baby and you will regret it forever.
I'm not saying this because I think you are a kook - you are not. It is hormonal but very dangerous.

Your husband sounds very caring and wonderful. Don't worry that he didn'tcry when your daughter was born - no all men do that. Or maybe he was also too exhausted to show emotion. You went through a difficult delivery that was also stressful on him so his emotions could have been out of whack.

BTW - to other posters, read her other questions. She says that her husband is caring and helpful in every way except that he didn't cry at the birth. SHe has PPD - she needs help.

Answer 4

Wow you are luck from what you said to be healthy and have a healthy baby. I know I am lucky I have a great husband who when we first got together got me pregnant and stayed. He was only 19 at the time. Now we just had number 2. Your husband will get more comfortable with the baby when it gets a little bigger and older. Some men are afraid they are going to break the baby. You only need help if you want it anyways. I know how it feels to be "sad as all hell". It sucks. You will get better and good luck.

Answer 5

I think you are passing quick judgment on a lot of people that you have no right to pass judgment on.
Remember a few people on yahoo answers do not speak for everyone.
And some people may be trying to help you but can not help you the way you need to be helped because they are strangers to you.
If you do not want to hear their answers do not ask the questions.
Or maybe you are so blinded by your sadness and unhappiness that you can not see those that are trying to help you.

But to assume that everyone on here leads a cushy life is not only unfair but also inaccurate.
Just to let you know I am a single parent and have been for over six years. My husband not only became insensitive and a "rock" after I had the baby but left. He has not seen her since she was 13 months old.She is now almost seven. Every day is a struggle but we are doing it just fine without him.

Get professional help you can do it!

Answer 6

You sound horribly depressed and like your life IS a mess. That's not a judgement, it is just a perception based on what you have written.

You need help. Plain and simple. If you get help, you may find a lot more joy in your life.

A lot of women get really depressed after having a baby, even major celebrities do, like Brooke Shields and Courtney Cox. They got help and now they are a lot happier.

I don't think suggesting you need help implies that your love for your baby is any less than any other mom's. Though you will be far able to cope and be a loving mom if you get yourself well first.

Take care.

Answer 7

You know, some men aren't great at showing their emotions. Are you sure your husband isn't just one of those men? I've only seen my hubby cry twice. Once when his grandfather died, and he did cry when our son was born. He got to deliver him (while my Dr coached him) and his first apgar score was 2. He was scared to death and when the baby pinked up and got a 9 the second time, he cried from relief. Some men hold it in.
You can't expect total strangers on an internet site to be your support system. It's not wise. You need to talk to someone close to you. A parent, sibling, friend, or even your family doctor. I wish you luck, but don't be too hard on your husband if he is otherwise a terrific guy.

Answer 8

You have post partum depression. You really need to see your OB. I've had it for 5 months, but it's getting under control now and yes, I've been sad as hell and get upset over just little bitty things that didn't use to upset me. I panic over stuff and can't sleep. I go 10 days with very little sleep, but thankfully that's better now. You're feeling majorly sorry for yourself, another sign of ppd. I don't think anybody really has a so-called great delivery. I mean, while it's happening you just want it over with and you sorta forget how bad it was after it's over with. My cousin was in labor for 48 days with her first in a horrible hospital, lost her second baby and had numerous complications with the next two children also. She also nearly died and had ppd, but she's doing great now.

Oh yes, and my husband has never cried and some men don't. Like what was said above. Some men hold it in well and aren't very emotional.

Answer 9

I don't know what's going on here. I read your other posts several days ago, and you were asking women if their husbands cried during delivery. Now you're yelling at them and saying they're "perfect people with the Mr. Wonderful daddies and husbands". What's up with that? You asked if our husbands cried, we said yes, and now you're pissed?

I can't take the time now to do a bunch of research for mental health. I don't know what state you're in, how far post-partum you are, etc. I would suggest either grabbing the yellow pages or going to www.bigyellow.com and typing something like "mental health" in the search box.

Answer 10

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Answer 11

Why do you keep asking for help if you don't want it? I love my baby more than life itself. My husband is a real *** a lot of times.
Don't wreck your life about your husband. Improve your life for your baby. Take a deep breath, call your mom, call your favorite cousin, listen to your favorite music, feed the baby, watch her grow, watch her play, then go give a hug to your husband when he comes home from work. Give him the baby and watch his eyes light up in joy as she responds to him. Take it easy. Don't do something drastic...your baby deserves the love you have for her. Dont take it away.