My husband and I are both 31, we have been together for a total of 8 years, marrying almost 2 years ago. We basically live our own lives. Occassionally doing something together. Lately he has been real short with me and about things that need done. When I asked him, He says he just has so much to do, and no free time..What do you think might be causing this? I'm not sure we should have married, He never tells me that he loves me, he's just to busy.
2006-07-02 08:50:40 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well sound like to me that he just do not want to be around u . and just scared to tell u or maybe he got another g/f
2006-07-02 08:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by angel h 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Divorcing is one way to go.
BEFORE exercising that option, try making it work.
Some straight forward, honest and frank discussion is needed.
Reserve an evening for the discussion.
Nothing else takes priority.
Fight to remain calm and polite throughout the whole discussion.
Discuss why the spark has faded.
Solutions will not be accomplished in giant steps.
It will take many little steps.
For example, reserve one night per week to do something together.
Nothing gets in the way.
Reserve another time (2 hours) just for conversation.
Slowly, gradually things may improve.
Be happy with small improvements ...it means things are going in the right direction.
Give it 6 months to a year, then take stock.
Then decide if divorce is the better option.
2006-07-02 09:27:01 · answer #2 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of us can choose for you. You should know what you can tolerate with and what you cannot. Eight years is alot. However, 2 of those years you both tied the knot. Some people make hasty decision when their relationship is hitting the peak. They also assume that their marriage will take the same route. And as you can see, that's not the case. Men like to be left alone at times. And so are we women. Maybe you need to relax and chill for a while. Remember, the honeymoon is over. It's also a possibility that his job is demanding, he's stress because of financial issues. I'm just saying other factors can contribute to his behavior other than a female. Find a friend or relative to go out with. Enjoy yourself. Make yourself happy. Take care of yourself. It's all about one's self. Remember, no one will do it for you if you can't do it to yourself. Lastly, love yourself and seek some professional marriage counselling.
2006-07-02 09:13:56 · answer #3 · answered by Reidi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister is going through the same exact situation, except that he's been cursing her without reason. Only she (and you) can decide if your happy and want to stay in the marriage. Others can give suggestions, but ultimately its up to you. Sit down, make a mental list of the plus' and cons of married life and what you may expect from being single. Do you have a romanticized image of single life? Is there someone nice that you like and think, maybe? This doesn't make you a bad person, merely an unhappy one. Just back up and look at the overall picture. First I would sit my husband down and discuss his problems of late. If he can't do that, then your decision may be made for you.
2006-07-02 08:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe him being 'short' with you is because he is under pressure with his job, etc. Or perhaps he recognizes a problem in the marriage and is not certain how to handle it?
Why don't you sit down with him and have a long talk. You might suggest that instead of living separate lives, you begin to do things together. And if he never tells you he loves you...why not ask him?
2006-07-02 08:54:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 31 and married to a 45 yr old. We have no children together but a total of 5 of our own. One is mine 4 are his. Mine lives with us full time. I go to college, as well as work a full time job, am a full time mother, and Lord knows a full time house wife to. But I always find time to tell my husband I love him. We have both been married before, me three times before him twice to the same man. He has been married twice before me. We both want this marriage to work, and we are both willing to sacrifice to make it work. He is a night owl ( he stays up till about 4) I have to be up at 5:40 so I go to bed around 10:30 but we still find sometime whether it be, he wakes me up when he comes to be to cuddle or, sometime on the weekends. We both have issues but we love each other more than life. You have to decide are you willing to sacrifice your own happiness some of the time to work out your marriage or is it through?
2006-07-02 09:27:57 · answer #6 · answered by bamaangel75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he were a player or planning to cheat on you, he probably would prattle periodically that he loves you. So his emotional silence is actually a good sign. Men don't reduce their feelings to words unless they have to in order to manipulate someone.
His bad temper and short comments indicate that he is probably ill or is worried about his job security.
You didn't say if you have children. If you do, it is strongly to their advantage for you two to stay married.
If you don't have children, you may want to consider a divorce. But, for some reason, I think you would be even unhappier living alone as a divorcee. Just a feeling.
2006-07-02 08:59:02 · answer #7 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I was with my husband four yrs then married now three. Sometimes I felt like you but believe me space is the key. Too much time together is not good. We spend all our time together now, it's like he has to be with me every where believe me you don't want that... Don't push so much for time together it will come & then you will wish it didn't. I've been threw this back & forth, stress ect. has lots to do with it. Sometimes it may be all in your mind, take a step back and look at yourself too. We all have faults that we tend to blame others for and that may be the problem.
2006-07-02 09:34:01 · answer #8 · answered by lisa t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds stressed and may be taking it out on you. Try to get away on vacation for a week. Just the two of you. Tell him how you feel, but don't accuse him. Guys can't read minds, nor can they take hints, nor even strong hints. If you want something, TELL HIM! If this doesn't work, see a councilor. A third objective person may be able to see the problem more clearly than you two.
2006-07-02 08:56:49 · answer #9 · answered by Jennilee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's getting what he needs from the marriage but you're not. Some men don't ask for anything but to be able to say they have a wife. If you're not satified with that you can tell him so over a cup of coffee (since he's so busy). Husbands have to make time for their wives. Its just that simple. Make time or make other arrangements ( like get his own place and get out).
2006-07-02 09:04:45 · answer #10 · answered by psi2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is so busy that they can't tell you they love you !!! It sounds like the beginning of the end of your marriage. If you live separate lives, you as well be separated. You can start over and find someone who will not only say they love you but, show you also.
Good luck !!!
2006-07-02 08:56:22 · answer #11 · answered by quiet times 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋