my life is crashing down!! what should i do to stop them??

Question

I don't know what to do to stop them.. i am young (14)i can't do anything but cry.. I am scared and i don't want to lose any of them. It's not fair.thay never think about me or my brother. all they care about is thier stupid fights.. They hurt us with out seeing it. How could i stop them? what should i do? please help me. i am so depressed, i keep crying alot. i don't know who to call for help.Dad said he would be leaving this week.. my life in crashing
i never expected this to happen mom said she doesn't care anymore and it's better he leave because she no longer love him and he say the same.. he think she start every fight.. and she thinks he is unfaithful.... they act like children.. they used to do like that alot before and dad once said he would leave but this time he is so serious. there is no way to stop them.. oh god! please help me.

Guys they said they won't get divorce but dad will leave away to another country where his brother and sisters live.. he won't be here anymore.. i am growing up and i need him here with me.. not away

thanks guys.. it made me feel better. yeah, i always go to church.. i keep praying that God would help me stop them..

you won't belive how old is my brother.. he is 17 belive it? he is relaxed.. it bother me how he isn't so mad at how they fight..

Answer 1

I hope things will get better soon for you! It's hard I'm sure for you and I wish there was something I could tell you to make you stop crying and hurting. Do you have a church family that you can talk to. I know they would have their arms open for you. If you don't please look into this. I know without God, I wouldn't know what to do at times. Keep God first and pray alot. He will hear your prayers and answer every one of them. Trust me.Hey, and also there may not be a way to stop them from leaving if that's their answer but don't feel like your responsible for their actions.

Answer 2

You will be okay. You are old enough to handle this you just haven't stopped to think. Tell your parents how badly you feel. Tell your brother too. He is hurt about this too but he is trying to deal with it. He's probably looking forward to the fights stopping.
Pray. Talk to a counselor at church (any church, they all have free counselors). Talk to your other relatives too. Don't carry this inside. Tell your parents that you need to go to see a doctor because you can't stop crying. You're very depressed and you need to get checked so it doesn't get worse. I know how your parents feel. They are hurting too. If they weren't trying your dad would have left before. I will pray for you and your family. Go do something fun this weekend. Go see a movie, eat some of your favorite food, go swimming and talk to a friend who makes you feel better.

Answer 3

Oh honey, Im so sorry. I had that same thing happen to me when I was your age. Parents are people just like us, and they tend to be selfish and do what they want whether it's right or wrong. It's taken me a long time to forgive them. It's not the end of your life, you are so young and have so much life to look forward to. None of this is your fault so don't ever think that okay?? You are right they do act like children! It's so sad, there are alot of people today acting like children when it comes to their relationships. Just know that you are VERY special to God, and he may be letting your family go through this for a reason. I'm 32 years old and my parents first divorce was when I was 12 years old. They remarried at 14 and are getting a divorce again because my father harbored unforgiveness towards my mom and has never worked through his anger, and beleive me he has alot and it's ruining him. My mom on the other hand is a better person now, and has learned to trust God for everything. Our relationship is so much better right now where we used to argue all the time, I really wish it could have been this way a long time ago. Sometimes we have to go through the fire to be refined. Just thank God for all the people in your life who love and care for you. It always helps to talk to somebody, talk to your youth pastor at church or somebody. I know you feel like your world is crashing down around you. Continue to pray, and trust God always for everything no matter what the outcome. He will comfort you when you cry out to him, he holds every tear you cry. I love to hear this song called "Praise you through the storm" by Casting Crowns especially when Im going through a rough time like right now. My dad even at age 54 is far from the father I knew growing up, and I feel rejected and abandoned sometimes, but then I have to focus my eyes on Jesus...hes the one who is my real father, my heavenly father who loves me more than any earthly father could. Blessings honey, keeping you in prayers!!!!

Answer 4

Really, there is really no way to stop them. I know from experience. And honestly, would you want them to stay together? Especially with all the fighting. It's not healthy for you, your brother, nor for them. If it's been going on for a while, and they've decided to leave each other, than it's probably best. I'm sure they love you and there love for you will not change after they seperate.
I noticed that after my mom and dad seperated, they were happier and looked like a big piece of stress was just lifted off of their shoulders. And now that I can look back, I'm glad they seperated. My mother and father remarried......with new people of course, but they're happy. And when they're happy, you'll be happy. It'll be hard at first but it'll be ok.
Remember, they love you no matter what happens, and if they do decide to seperate, it'll be becuase they believe it'll not only be good for them, but also for you and your brother.

Answer 5

Divorce is NOT your fault! You may think they aren't thinking about you, but they most likely are. My sister got divorced and she said that in order for her to keep her kids happy (she has 3), she needed to be happy and her ex-husband needed to be happy. They weren't happy as a couple and the fighting wasn't good for the kids. Sometimes a couple needs time apart to realize how they REALLY feel about the other person. They may a) realize they do want to be together and try to make it work or b) realize it would be best for everyone to NOT be together. And if it ends up being option B, then the easiest way to deal with it is to accept it and realize that is how it's going to be. Sorry if I sound harsh, I don't mean it to sound that way. They DO care about you and your brother. Go hug your mom right now and tell her how much you love her...she's just as upset as you are and you both need each others support.

Answer 6

Okay...I am assuming that you are referring to a possible divorce...

I am sorry that you feel this way, but let me try to explain a few things.

First and foremost, just because they're separating, DOESN'T mean that they don't love you. In fact, they may be divorcing to save you and your brother from more painful experiences down the road. Even if they fight, they'll always love you. You are their child...a part of them. That will never change.

Their "childish" behavior may just be stress from everything that's happening with and around them. Everyone does it sometimes-- people resort to arguing styles that may remind you of yourself when you were younger. No biggie. It happens.

My suggestion: have a serious talk with your parents (both of them at the same time may be a good idea, but if not, one at a time is fine). Tell them how you feel. DON'T hold back, but be fair: if they want to talk, let them. If you want to talk, they should be able to let you as well.

Tell them how much you love them, and let them know that you'd like them to try to make things work. But if they go through with the divorce anyway, respect their decision. They are adults, and believe it or not, they know what's best for them...and for you.

If the divorce does happen, be sure to express your concern about the family being split, and ask them about who will gain custody of you and your brother (if you want to, ask them if it would be possible to have joint custody, so you can see them both). Also, ask them if counseling is possible: it may seem over-the-top, but it can be a big help.

Be open and understaning, but most importantly, keep loving them, for they are still your family. ^__^

Good luck, dear friend. I shall keep you in my prayers.

Answer 7

First of all don't blame yourself for their problems. It's not your fault. You can still love both your parents and love yourself too. You are a teen and can't solve their problems. Can you go to a church youth group? Do you have any friends that go to church? Find a really good church youth group with a youth Pastor you can talk to. You need to get and keep yourself on the right track as if you get in the wrong company it's pretty hard to clean up a mess and get you life together after wrong life decisions. Go easy on yourself. Tune out their negativity. Go to a public library and find books for teens on dealing with divorce.

Answer 8

Its a sad story, but one that happens everyday in a lot of families.
Your parents never grew up.
Use the experience to learn about what to look for in your own relationships.
Take care of your brother and dont worry.. the courts will make sure that you both are taken care of.
I know it hurts but its better that they are apart if all they are going to do is fight and hurt you guys.

Answer 9

Honey, i know that its hard for you if your families splitting up. I know from personal experiences, im the same age as you and mine split when i was 6, im still not over it, then again alot has happened to mine. So all i can tell you to do is if it gets to bad talk to some one, I saw a counsiler for years. The worst thing that can happen is people talking about it and asking you questions, so just ignore that. Its hard at first but it gets easier.

Answer 10

You are in one of the most difficult situations there is. You need some support.

Call (it's free) 1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255)

The people you talk to are trained to deal with crisis.

You can call it right now and anytime - day or night

Best wishes - and keep us posted on how you are doing. I am so sorry for your hurt and sorrow. It will get better.