How Do You Handle People that Keep Your Self Esteem Low?

Answer 1

People, with the pressures of their peers during school(high school and college esp.), have developed a way to hide their flaws or insecurities. One common way to hide their insecurities or flaws is to point out the flaws of others. It makes them feel better because 'at least I dont have this problem'

This really is detrimental to their self esteem even though it may seem backwards. See, when people come to an age when they are not surrounded with peers, what they are left with is a judgemental way of protecting their insecurities. When there is no one to judge and no one to listen to their judgments of others, they are left with no way to hide their own flaws. Having not dealt with their insecurities and having no way to hide them, they are left with very poor self esteem.

You need to stay away from these people, unless you would like the same fate that they will have later in life.

Answer 2

My mother-in-law seems to be under the impression that she can only lift herself up by tearing down someone else... often it's me. I used to take it until I found that that kind of poison is lethal at high doses and I started making statements that I thought would be helpful to her or might be the root of her problem: "Do you say hurtful things like that because you didn't have a good relationship with your mother?" and when she only got meaner so did I... "You were an only child, but I still get the impression that you still weren't exactly a 'daddy's girl'". Then I finally figured out what made her tick... she was all about the facade she'd built and what other people think... so one day at church (which she only attends so she can volunteer for things to be in charge of to make herself feel important and she can sit there and gossip about those who aren't there and make snide remarks about the outfits being worn by those who are there) I leaned over said "Obviously I'm going to have to ask the minister to pray for you AGAIN." I'd never done so in the past, but she didn't know that and she was so horrified that she didn't pick on me or anyone else for weeks! When I can't think of something big, bold and bizarre to shut her up and put her in her place for a while I just avoid her. It's harder when it's a relative or a co-worker, I know, but you either get creative in avoiding them or learn to tune them out or figure out a way to shake it off after you leave them. Hot bath, music, anything. Just remember it's their issue, not yours.

Answer 3

They have a term for people who drag you down -- they are called "psychic vampires" - though it is very important to note that you have control over the impact they have on you. You start by finding out that you have a backbone -- you stand up for yourself. To accomplish that, YOU start looking inside of yourself for the answers. They can only damage you if you allow them to. So, start taking responsibility for your "Self" by taking care of your "self." In that effort, you can set limits and enforce them - as to what you will tolerate, what you will not. You will not do things in order to make people "like you." You take control of your life, instead of allowing someone else to direct you. You might find yourself an Assertiveness Training Class with people your own age. That way, you can learn through experience and make acquaintances that are trying to accomplish a similar goal. Good luck

Answer 4

It depends on who you are in reference too. Are you talking about family or friends or co-workers or who?

Their are many types of people on this earth. Some are nice and up beat people, some are nice and considerate people and then there are those that are not nice, don't care about you and your feelings or troubles, that say mean and down right cruel things to you.

As for the cruel, insensitive, mean spirited humans out there, can be found in the family and all over the place.

Usually these individuals have some deep rooted problems of their own and chose to say and do cruel things, just to get their own minds off their problems. This is a sad but popular occurance in their lives.

We all have choices to make in our lives. We can chose to be around these cruel minded individuals and remain susceptible to their abuses or we can ignore them to the best of our abilities. There is nothing you can do or say to them to change their minds about how they think of you or how they treat you.

The key is how you choose to deal with it. Don't give them the satisfaction that their words or actions hurt you. Some cruel minded individuals seem to be fueled by seeing your hurtful reactions. It gives them "power" or some kind of "high" which to me is really twisted pleasure!!

Don't take their words and actions to the heart or take them personally.

Acknowledge all your good points in life and feel good about them! Acknowledge all your accomplishments you have and allow yourself to feel great about them! Look at all the positives in your life and don't focus on the negatives. Choose to view a half glass of water as half full and not half empty. Give yourself each morning and each night a good and positive pep talk. Choose to feel happy for who you are regardless of what others may say to you.

I know first hand how difficult it is to cope with insensitive, cruel individuals. My whole family is that way.

With practice and time, you will get the hang of it.
Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!

I hope I was some what helpful!

Answer 5

Be your own person and don't care what everyone else thinks. Realize that you don't have to be part of any popular crowd. Be foward and speak your mind. Don't be afraid to tell people what you think. Noone is exactly the same as anyone else...or else the world would be boring. You are perfect in your own ways. And last be happy with yourself...that's all that matters. :-)

Answer 6

Stop hangin out with them then they cant make your self esteem low

Answer 7

Routinely, they do things like that so they can feel 'better' about themselves.

Options are: Avoid

Tune out

Somehow, remind yourself that they are living out THEIR problem, it actually has nothing to do with you. You just happen to be a convenient target at the moment. They will do it to someone else whenever you aren't there.

Answer 8

Hard as it may be you'd have to limit contact with those people. Stay away as much as possible. I don't understand people who do this. It's like they're not happy unless they can make someone else feel like a failure. And try to surround yourself with as many positive people as possible.

Answer 9

Get away from them and remember they are prolly trying to drag you down bc they have their own low sellf esteem.

Answer 10

That's a tough one if the person is close to you like a brother, sister or cousin. God forbid, it's not your wife or fiancee. Like the others said, you have to cut them out of your life. Good luck, buddy, I've been there.