I have a dog and she keeps me company, but I want to be with someone. I have tried to talk to women, but I've lost my ability to be good at it. I feel like no women find me attractive. On line stuff like Adult friend finder is a scam, just like all the other sites and I don't go to bars. I talked to a women at the dog park recently, and she left shortly there after. I give up, I guess I'm just too ugly or something. I wish I had my confidence back, what do I do ? Don't tell me craigs list because that doesn't work either. I look younger than my age and I'm active, so what's wrong with me ? My ex has remarried already and that just adds to my depression. I really am confused and lonely. I use my work as a way to escape my own hell that I am going through, but on weekends I'm right back to being depressed. I don't have many friends to turn to, and they are busy themselves or married. If this isn't pathetic what is ?
2006-07-02 07:39:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow, you're a mess. women pick up on that. stop trying to find a woman and find yourself. when you figure out who you are and learn to like it, you'll have alot better luck.
2006-07-02 07:46:51 · answer #1 · answered by Gabrielle 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
C'mon now- quit feeling sorry for yourself. I'm going through the same thing but further down the road than you, so listen up.
DON'T jump into a relationship now. Don't think that you NEED one because the ex is in one or to prove that you are still WORTHY. Plus we give off DESPERATION vibes at this point because we desperately want to feel like we are still desireable. Any woman who DOES want to get together when you're unhappy is probably a head-case. Using a "hook-up" to improve our self-image is a recipe for MORE heartache.
Take this as your time for YOU. This is when you reflect on what went wrong in the last relationship and LEARN from it. This is also a time for you to put YOURSELF FIRST! Go learn skydiving, art or whatever you always wanted to do but "couldn't" while you were with her. Talk to a counselor if you feel depressed and go over the relationship with them.
Get in shape- you'll feel better, look better and you'll be more confident when you DO meet the next one.
When your head's screwed back on and you feel better THAT's when you'll have women wanting to check YOU out. The healthy ones can always tell when a guy's worth knowing...
You'll get there, now get your a.ss to the gym!
2006-07-02 14:54:53 · answer #2 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need a woman right now, you have too many issues. You have low self esteem which is not attractive, no matter who attractive physically you may be. My dad was like this when I was growing up, he was always feeling sorry for himself and calling himself ugly and worthless. My dad is a very angry man because he has a sexual addiction and won't get help for it, he blames every woman for everything bad in his life. He doesn't want to listen to any counselor unless they are telling him things he wants to hear. He doesn't want to accept responsibility for his actions. I hope once he divorces my mom that he never remarries until he gets help for himself and learns to forgive people and get over his anger. Any relationship he'd get into right now he would ruin eventually because it all comes out no matter how hard you try to suppress it all. He knows I love him, but honestly I was sick of hearing him feel sorry for himself long time ago. He is very blessed and always has been, he is just too busy having a pity party to realize it. Whatever is bothering you, and from what it sounds like it runs deep...please get some help. This is nothing that any woman will ever be able to solve for you. Insteand of using work as an escape, why not call out to God? He has the answer for you, you just need to swallow your pride and surrender yourself. Hoping the best for you, as I'm hoping the best for my father.
2006-07-02 15:37:59 · answer #3 · answered by dixi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off -you have to be happy with you before you add someone else into the mix. go to the doc and get a medication for the depression - that will help. you don't need to measure how you move on with how your ex did. people are different and it isn't going to be the same for everyone.
confidence does help when trying to 'win someone over' - if you believe in yourself then others are more apt to as well. that goes back to being happy with and for YOU first. spend time with your dog, find other hobbies that you had before or during your marriage - and throw yourself into them with a passion - do your best to make sure you are happy - then things like dating will be easier
2006-07-02 14:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by firehd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude,
I'm going thru the same thing. I think alot is coming from the fact that your heart has not yet healed. I heard it takes sometimes even more than 3 years for it to happen. Especially if she left you and you didn't want it to happen. It's not pathetic at all. People i have talked to say the exact same things as you said. I feel every one of them that you do. When we find that first girl that brings sparks back to our lives, we will heal. What you feel is a natural grieving. They say divorce hurts more than if your spouse died. I think it's time dude...we gotta grieve before we can heal. Good luck.
2006-07-02 14:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by Bolder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of churches have divorce recovery groups now. Can you go through one of them to help you heal first? Another person isn't going to make you better. That's too much to put on someone. You've got to enjoy your life no matter how hard it is right now - go to a divorce care group and heal first though.
2006-07-02 14:47:22 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've tried everything too but men keep seeing my little kids and run like the wind.I think men are just to wrapped up in the last relationship to open themselves up to a new one and you sound like you need to love yourself before you can love another.
2006-07-02 15:40:13 · answer #7 · answered by defendernnc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋