she only care about on thing her horse, she thinks its my job to pay the bills and her job to save her money for vactions and fun things to do, but she usually spends the money on her horse
2006-07-02 07:36:24 · 24 answers · asked by jeremy h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have tried to get her to go to marriage counseling, she refuses, I sat down and talked with her and the resonsibilities and she told me that I knew she was like this when we got married, but she wasn't she tried to help or at least asked if I needed help before now she just does what she wants because she expects to be served hand and foot,
2006-07-02 11:29:37 · update #1
She obviously needs to understand the meaning of the word>>> woman.
It means... a mature female person, one who accepts blame for her actions, one who accepts & carries out her responsibilities (duties, job).
It's certainly not your duty to do it all... marriage is a partnership (working together), not a one-way street.
Sounds like she needs to face reality about what she values most>>> apparently it's about her having her way, her being in control & her having all the fun.
That's self-ish... & marriage is not about just 1 self, it's about 2 selves... caring about one another.
If she values her marriage at all, she needs to get off her rear-end & get busy, otherwise she may eventually end up being given the choice of... "loving you or letting you go."
If she isn't careful, she may even hear you asking this question>>> if she didn't value marriage enough to work alongside you, then why did she marry you in the first place?
Unwillingness to help only causes the relationship to be damaged... it causes you to suffer & she could end up losing you because of that.
You are a very important part of the relationship... without "U" (you) there is no US.
"U" matters... You matter.
She needs to realize there's a problem that's affecting the relationship in a negative way... if you try talking to her & she rejects it, I definently suggest marriage counselling... & I definently suggest prayerful guidance.
If she fails to help better the relationship (by choosing not to cooperate), then she's the one who's failing, & if she chooses to be a failure... so be it unto her.
2006-07-02 08:32:32 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hmm.. it sounds like your wife isn't being very fair to you. I'm assuming she works too by you saying she saves her money for vacations and such.. and I don't think it's right for 2 working individuals to not work together on chores, bills and other things as well.
Have a talk with her spending habits on the horse and tell her that is it is only fair that she participate in keeping your home and paying some of the bills there. A relationship should not be one-sided... you should not have to do everything so she can merely make money, spend it at her leisure and not help you out with anything whatsoever. If this is how she wants things to be.. make her stay home and support her (since you pretty much already do). Tell her if she doesn't want to stay home and clean the house and do other things for you... she needs to start giving you some money for bills and start pulling her weight around your home.
And best of luck, sounds like a hard road for you.
2006-07-02 14:45:59 · answer #2 · answered by ladonnaschild 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a sit-down with your wife. Don't just up and get a divorce. Marriage is NOT easy, and it takes the commitment of both parties. My advice: make a list of all of your household expenses, including a vacation fund. Split everything down the middle. Agree to deposit X amount in your joint account every two weeks, every month, or whatever!
As far as housework goes....if you continue paying all of the bills, it is only fair that she cleans the house. The bottom line, is talk with her. Tell her how you're feeling.
2006-07-02 14:51:21 · answer #3 · answered by lost4now 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with her. A marriage is not about you supporting her so she can do whatever she wants with her money its about working together. She needs to help out around the house. If she's paying more attention to her horse then to the fact that your having a hard time with her then the relationship is unbalanced. I suggest going to marriage counseling to work to find a way that you are both happy. Best of luck
2006-07-02 14:42:02 · answer #4 · answered by SexyLilChick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats strange it usually the other way around. well talk to her tell her you both have to help with the house and the bills. saveing money isnt a bd idea but save after you pay the magor bills first then the horse then vacations. being an adult comes with responsibility. good luck
2006-07-02 14:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by Crimson_Skies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to marriage counseling first with or with out her. It seems that she maybe a spoiled brat. If you knew this going in than it may be hard to change her. I feel sorry for you, I was in a similar boat once and we ended up divorced.
2006-07-02 14:41:23 · answer #6 · answered by andy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with her and plan out the finances. and tell her that she will have to spend her money on the horse. then she will see that everything has an order. bills, housework, horse.
2006-07-02 14:39:35 · answer #7 · answered by cmac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if i were in your shoes I would sit down and tell her how you feel. Then set your boudaries on what you want from here and what youneed her to do. Communication is key to workign through this issue. If she is not wanting to cooperate then you need to soul serach and see what you want and if its' what you want to tolerate. Seek some counseling too!
2006-07-02 14:41:21 · answer #8 · answered by Therese M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually the husband is the main breadwinner. Men always make more money than women.
2006-07-02 14:44:46 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of her no 1 should be able to treat a person like that!
2006-07-02 14:39:01 · answer #10 · answered by Abbi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋