Is my wife doing the right thing?

Question

After the birth of our daughter 8 mos ago she told her company where she is a director that she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and they agreed to let her work from home the minimum hours needed for benefits (32 hours). When we go married we agreed we would never put our kids in daycare, and so her sister (also at home w/ her baby) watches our baby 2 days a week so my wife can do phone calls / sit in on meetings (she does most of her work at night / by email).

We can get by on my salary alone (my wife makes $100,000/year - now 3/4 of that w/ reduced hours) and she says it is silly to give up that much money.

But I feel even though our baby is with a loving aunt, babies really need their own parents and it is our responsibility. I do also see my wife stressed with demands being an exec at her company).

I help out every morning, evenings, weekends and just want what is best for my wife / baby / family. I would like my wife to just stop working, she is not sure... advice?

Answer 1

Let her do what she thinks is right its her right to work if she wants to. I'm a stay at home mother of two and thats just as hard to do sometimes. And alot of times i never feel i make a contribution to my family. So I say let her make that decision. Its her family to.

Answer 2

I agree with everyone else that your wife needs to make the decision if she is going to work or not. At least she is working from home and not outside of the home so she can be with your daughter.

At least your daughter isn't in daycare day after day. And the time that she spends with her aunt is good for her too. She can form a strong bond with her on the days that her aunt is watching her. If family means that much to you, then what is wrong with her aunt watching her? She is family too. And 2 days a week is nothing compared to what it would be if she worked outside of the home. I don't see how 2 days a week is going to harm your daughter to be with her aunt. Actually, I see it helping her in the long run.

And who could blame her for not wanting to give up that kind of money!! This way extras can be bought for the children, college funds can be started and kept up, etc. Raising kids these days is NOT cheap. Having all the money you can for them really helps. I believe your wife only wants what's best for her child.

I would say to keep on doing what you are doing. Being a stay at home mom is NOT an easy job. Having her sister help out 2 days a week gives her a break from being a mommy and lets her do the work she seems to love doing. I can tell that you only want what's best for your daughter, wife, and family. I believe that what your wife is doing is what's best. If you try to force her to quit working, then she will only resent you, take it out on you day after day, and may even end up leaving with your daughter later on. What good would that do and what harm would that do to your daughter and family?

Answer 3

While you want her to stop working that could be something she doesn't want to do. A couple days a week with the aunt is really not all that horrible compared to people who constantly dump their kids off on someon. If working makes your wife happy than let her be. Being a stay at home mom is not for everyone. She is right it would be silly to give up 75,000 a year especially when you can put some away in college funds for your children.

In the end your wife needs to make the decision to quit her job not you. If you make that decision for her she could end up resenting you. Let her come to that decision. Just keep doing what you are doing by helping her out and supporting whatever decision she makes.

Answer 4

Discuss this with your wife. Tell her how you feel again, and LISTEN to her as well. If you try to force her to quit,she may resent you and it will cause problems in your marriage. Find a solution that works for both. It does sound like she is a stay at home mom. Think about what she enjoys and wants too. A loving aunt will take very good care of your baby.

Answer 5

If she thinks she is doing the right thing then she must be .She doesn't wanna give up so much money coz at the end of the day she wants a better living and give her daughter the best living she can. But at the same time she shouldn't be neglecting her child.And now days to bring up a baby requires a lot of money .
Anyways wishing you'll all the best !!!

Answer 6

if she is happy you should leave it alone. but if you pressure her then she will resent you and you will not have a marriage. as far as daycare why don't you keep the child. and that will solve the problem. why is it up to you??????? your wife is not complaining and she did decide to work from home, either way she is going to need help with the baby.

Answer 7

She sounds like a strong minded women. If it is that big of a deal talk to her let her know she cant leave it at the office cause the office is home now,but can you talk to her use third person it works for me.