Ok here is the problem my husband is having legal issues at his biz. He has been an intense jerk off. I have been supportive through out the whole time except this week. I went in to the office on friday to set up the new biz on the computer to help him out. He was rude and cursing at me the whole day. By the time i left the office i was a mess. I had a really bad panic attack on the ride home to the point of me pulling over. NOW i am mad and i have been nothing but horrible to him. Yesterday i went to my friends house to get my mind off of things he called me 20 times telling me to meet him at his moms. So i did. I get there he asks where were you and the kids and i said swimming at michelles he picks up his things and leaves me at his mothers. Iwas stuck there for 2 hours. I am infuriated and so sick of his disrespect and demeaning, controlling behavior.
2006-07-02 04:29:59 · 11 answers · asked by blondiebella 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First thing you need to do is relax and some some slow breathing, just b/c he's a jerk you don't have to be one then you tell him you understand that he's under some pressure at work and you are not out to hurt him you are only trying to help. You give him some breathing room so he can sit down and re-evalutae his situation. Give it a few days to calm down then you nicely tell him what type of jerk he's been and you don't appreciate it at all you get your angry feelings off your chest but in a nice manner so he'll feel the sting!
2006-07-02 04:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Danette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have alot of thinking to do. Was he like this before the wedding? Did you marry him not knowing, or hoping you could change him? When did this behavior start? Is he always like this, or do anger and stress bring out the worst in him? Can you continue to put up with this, or do you just want to run as far away from him as possible? Have ya'll ever tried therapy? Could you get him to go? How important is the marriage to you and him? How much are you willing to put up with? Is marriage a forever thing to you? Do you love him enough to try and help him past this, and become a better person and husband? Do you have family that can support and encourage you as you both try to rebuild the relationship?
I won't tell you what to do, its not my place. But think long and hard before you do anything. You need to decide when you are thinking clearly and not lashing out due to him hurting you. Whatever happens, just try to be nice and classy. Casting blame and hurt feelings never helped anything get better.
2006-07-02 11:42:16 · answer #2 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is not something he does all the try sitting him down and tell him that when he does that it makes feel scared and small. tell you understand that he is going Thur a bad time but that you are his side. My used to do the same thing I would talk to him about then leave him alone 9 times out 10 he would come back and say he was sorry and then tell what was really bugging him. I was very lucky to have him he was one wonderful man.
2006-07-02 12:53:17 · answer #3 · answered by fuzzywuzzysgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's got to get a grip. And somehow u have to take control of this particular situation. There are many forms of abuse.....not just physical. Emotional abuse is just as bad if not worse. I know. I've been there for 13yrs. Now I am getting a divorce. Of course, I recommend counseling first and foremost. When u married for better or worse, I don't interpret "worse" to mean you are there to be taken advantage of by your kind behavior. Go to therapy and work it out together. If he refuses my friend, you have to make difficult choices in your future. Remember, you have one life to live - your entitled to at least that. Quote: There are two trees growing side by side in the forest....if ONE of them grows faster on it's own, the other will wither and die. Don't let him take your sunshine!
2006-07-02 11:41:19 · answer #4 · answered by momprotect 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like his legal situation is a little overwhelming for him. I think thats great that you have been there for him. Sometimes when our husbands are having a really really bad day, we have to let them vent. As much of a jerk he can be you just need to realize that it isn't you, its his way of dealing with his emotions regarding his insecurities with his business problems. You are putting oil on his fire. Don't make things worse, he needs you right now. This business is a big deal and you two need to work on it as a team if its ever going to work.
2006-07-02 11:36:24 · answer #5 · answered by LO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to plan a romantic weekend away from the kids. And take your husband with you. He's going through a tough spell. People who don't follow the "for better or for worse" part are the reason for the high divorce rate.
2006-07-02 11:56:32 · answer #6 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the first time he has acted this way? If it is then there is hope and it is just because he is so stressed. Talk to him tell him his behavior hurts you and hurts the kids.
If however this is normal behavior for him, WHY are you still there? It is only harming the kids, teaching them it's ok, and encouraging him to continue doing it. What you ALLOW to happen, repeats.
2006-07-02 11:36:42 · answer #7 · answered by arvecar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to take back some of the control that he has over you. As hard as this may seem for you, you must stop jumping when he says to. You need to start being distant, answering only 15% of his calls, stop making yourself so easily accessible to him, I know that's your husband, but you must demand your respect back! I'm positive that you'd much rather be happy, respected, and loved, rather than treated like his enemy. I blame you (sorry), for allowing him to continue to abuse you in this manner. You're no good for him, yourself, and definitely not the kids when you're feeling insignificant. You must get your self-respect back. I'm sure that his financial situation isn't going anywhere fast, so you must do this for yourself now. Will he allow you to disrespect him in this manner? You deserve to be happy, but you must demand it. God Bless You. Good luck to you.
2006-07-02 12:28:09 · answer #8 · answered by jusb4dawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like ya need some help to iron out the issues (whatever they are) that's going on between you both. It's obvious that neither one of you are happy for whatever reason. Please dont allow it to escalate any further. It's not helping your state of mind,
his........or the children!
2006-07-02 11:50:40 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if i was you and he cursing at me i though something at him and left and if i was stuck at my mom home for 2 hour i wood leave him and fine a NEW man like me i free
2006-07-02 11:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by dockb58 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋