I find it difficult to communicate negative feelings to people and yet admire those with the capacity. Help?

Answer 1

It is good that you are not naturally inclined to be negative towards people; most have the opposite problem. When I have to give someone negative comments but I do not wish to hurt their feelings, I will often try to start and finish with something encouraging or by pointing out something positive or laudable the person has done -- even if it's just that I know they're trying to do a good job and trying to do the best they can. With the criticism wrapped in remarks that show a continued attachment to the person and an understanding of their perspective, I have often found that the criticism is warmly received and a solution more easily implemented. This approach has been particularly helpful when running volunteer groups, where you can't exactly force someone to play a part they don't want to. It may suit you well, since you seem inclined to being nice. Give it a try. I hope it helps.

Answer 2

Wow..... Are u sure your not talking about me. I have the same problem. I always feel like a b---tch when it is NECESSARY to tell someone a feeling or need. A friend of mine lives in a beautifully finished basement w/kitchen/bathroom&shower, bedroom and hudge living room w/a bar. I want to tell him he has to help out a little more w/my homes chores. But I feel mean throughing that up in his face. He also uses 1/2 of my 2 car garage to store his favorite car he no longer uses. That in itself would cost a pretty penny anywhere. I don't ask him for a dime. But I wish I had the B-lls to discuss this with him. And YES I admire people who can stand up for them selves. I will be watching the answers you get. I need the same advice (and 10pts) LOL. Good luck

Answer 3

I agree because I have the same problem. I find confrontations difficult and find it hard to say no to people or to show others that I'm angry with them.

Although, I don't have this problem with those closest to me, it's more with work colleagues and associates.

I think it's to do with the way I was brought up. I never saw my parents argue or confront each other in front of me therefore I never learned the appropriate manner in which to communicate negative feelings.

I tend to keep negative feelings to myself, deal with them in my own head and change my own attitude rather than having it out with the person involved.

Answer 4

Nobody like confrontations. But when it comes to whether it's you or the other guy's well being, you need to take a stand even if it means you won't be liked. However if possible, do it as tactfully as possible. Let them know you can't do it or take it and if you have to you will be unhappy. Convey the sense that they wouldn't want to see or make you unhappy.

Answer 5

That is the result of social pressure and the feeling of inadequacy and need to fit in worrying about what others think about you. you need to build up your self-esteem and try assertiveness courses.

remember you are UNIQUE and in reality very few people opinions of you matter, except your own, those who you love and possibly those who pay you - but always speak the truth and your mind .

I has a boss who I always disagreed with (everyone else was a YES type) but it was me that got the promotion for showing honesty and initiative..

Believe in yourself

Answer 6

There are two approaches:

Think about what you want to say and take your time.

or

Just call whoever has hacked you off a complete c*nt and walk away!

Answer 7

Go to to assertion lessons at your local college. It will do you well. Good luck.