how can we really know?

Question

when someone leaves us,are we sad because we really love him or because of our selfishness that we cant have what we want?

Answer 1

It's hard to know that.

Most people are creatures of habit. We prefer a certain place on the couch, a certain chair, and a certain side of the bed. Likewise, in our intimate relationships, we become accustomed to that person (the way they smell and look, the way they act, etc.). Often, our reaction to the end of a relationship is sadness because we lose our comfort zone! Sometimes, it's because we're lazy, and don't want to go through the touble of cultivating a new relationship, which takes time and patience.

Don't be afraid. When that time comes, and you begin a new relationship with the new person in your life, over time they will become as comfortable (if not moreso) AND comforting as the other. In fact, if you really allow your heart to open to them, you may not even remember who the other one was.

Don't be guarded. Just relax and permit the next relationship to begin in its natural course. Take your time, and you'll be better than before. You'll find that it is, indeed, worth the investment of time and patience.

Answer 2

We are really sad because we won't get to be with that person we love anymore, i dont see it as selfish thing really! it would be more selfish if you didn't care they died!