getting pregant again. We can not afford any more children. Now I steel do want sex. I work full time and am so busy that is the last thing on my mind and it is the first thing on my husbands. Now he wants me to save up my vacation for 6 weeks and go get my tubes tied, because he went through the pain, and I still don't want sex. I feel that this is wrong that he wants me to go this.... So I'm not sure what to do or what to think. Please help me...
2006-07-02 02:31:42 · 9 answers · asked by wiltrk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it was both of our choice for him to get fixed, I had the children. My main question is does he have the right to be mad at me for not wanting sex? And why should I get fixed too? Just to make him happy? im not sure
2006-07-02 02:41:30 · update #1
Its hard to have a menopausal woman and a mid life crisis man in the same location these days. Its a confusing and tricky situation where alot of tension exist because of contrasting views. The man feels he needs to work out his sexual tension while he still can. He may feel like its practice in keeping it "in good working condition". He may feel he wants to run around the streets and party, hang out, and stay a "cool person" rather than the "grandpa" he dreading to become. Its just a phase. Women may feel like sex is unimportant at this stage in life. More stress out and want to handle things that are personally feels good. The two biggest things are this. Dont get on the womens badside with added pressure to her natural changes that are occuring. And for the man, you can not change his mind even if he's doing something stupid. Men have an urge of wanting to satisfy the good feeling... sorta the reason half of guys cheat...for the adventure even if love does exist. You must be on ya man's side whether right or wrong and only suggest turns to make while riding along. Enough left turns will getcha back to the same spot. The fact is... reality is hard to face. As we get older we wanna believe things more just for the need to have a correct answer to a decision. Men are actually not getting younger and must slow down to accept the "older man in the mirror" he may fear. And women must accept the fact that their body IS changing whether it feels emotional or stressful. Women have psychological problems after feeling the discomfort, change, and just wierdness of their sexual life. You can not deny a man sex, lol. And that's tru, because you don't want him mad around you or not around you looking for a sexual experience. You must work with what you got and help him out. Doctor's suggest more foreplay, maybe lubricants, and/or closer relationships when life seems to stray in different directions. By being a best friend to your spouse, you should have nothing to fear. I believe he got his fix for a personal reason. And you should make a personal decision about yours. Do you never wanna have kids? Are you gonna be his woman forever and a day? They are questions to ask as an individual. As a partner, be a partner and elimate evil, fussing, and bullshit. Take care of ya man, as nothing is impossible just tactical and strategic. Can't avoid sex, its everywhere! dont let him be reminded of his discomfort for you everytime its advertised to you. Hang in there or let him cheat! and i think you'll make the right decision!
2006-07-02 02:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by carolinakres 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he's fixed then there's no sense in you getting fixed. Maybe you need to take your vacation to relax and think of fun sex things to do to make it more interesting for you. Find a babysitter, sometimes having kids around makes it hard for the woman to get in the mood. Or maybe you need some female Viagra. Try different avenues to find what works so you can start pleasing you husband again and yourself of course. By the way if you're tired and he's in the mood, a ******** always works too(maybe you could do it in exchange for a back massage)
2006-07-02 02:38:24 · answer #2 · answered by lilmama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he got himself fixed than you do not need to do it... its either one or the other.. i do not see the reason he wants you to get tube tied... or is it because he went thru the pain and he wants you to go thru the same?
Besides whose decision was it in the first place to get these things done? Didn't you guys talk about it before going to the doctor...
If you do not want to get a tube tied than you need to tell him that and stay strong!!
As for your sex thing well if your busy etc he needs to understand that....
2006-07-02 02:44:53 · answer #3 · answered by Pari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is fixed then you don't need to be if he is the only one your with. My husband had the same thing done 6 years ago and I wish I could get pregnant but won't happen. The surgery really does work.
2006-07-02 03:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by miranda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...that is just ridiculous! Why should you have an operation when he has already been fixed? Your husband WANTS you to suffer pain....doesn't say much for his character....I feel sorry for you.
2006-07-02 02:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by my two cents 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was "fixed" in 94 right after the birth of my son, but it was for my wife's health, she had a complicated pregnancy. don't listen to your husband, it didn't hurt all that bad anyway
2006-07-02 02:42:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's your question? Try to write it again so it makes sense. I'm not sure if you want sex or not.
2006-07-02 02:35:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong, if he has already been fixed, then there is not reason why you have to go throught it too.Whos plan or choice was it for him to get fixed.if it was is then, it was his choice he shouldnt be mad...If it was both or yours then he still shouldnt be mad.
2006-07-02 02:35:58 · answer #8 · answered by Male Sicilian Trauma Nurse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he got fixed, have some fun now.if he went through that for you, loosen up have sex with him
2006-07-02 04:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by thepainter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋