How to explain him that I don't want him...?

Question

This guy tryed to be my bf but I didn't want to get involved with him. But he did his best to please me and help me with different things that I accepted to date him from time to time, but only as a friend.
One day, when I told him that I had feelings for someone else, he started to reproach me that I was cheated on him.
But I've never given him any hope...

The point is that he is one of my workmates and I don't know how to deal with this situation. I'd like him to understand, but he is insisting that he ''won't give up the fight''
What should I do?

Answer 1

tell him straight forward that you were never involved and only being a good friend & if he doesnt gives up stop contacting him and try to ignore him.

Answer 2

He needs to understand that his love is only one-sided.Try to convince him by showing ur anger or even disgust.Behave in a professional manner and use the help of security or the police to teach him a good lesson.U got to either fight or escape!If u escape u will have to start ur job from scratch and may be even migrate to a different city or state.U need protection from family,relatives and police.The man is definitely after u.DON'T BE SCARED!IT HAPPENED WITH MY FRIEND WHO UNFORTUNATELY GOT RAPED AND DEFILED 2 DAYS BEFORE GETTING MARRIED TO A DIFFERENT PERSON.Be careful!Watch all of his actions,bodylanguage and observe him closely.If he shows the signs of aggression,madness and most importantly OBSESSION OR STUBBORNESS u r in trouble.Who knows what he is on the inside?These signs are not depictive of a normal,mature and sensible human being.U should have known this on ur first or second date.U NEED TO GET A HOLD OF HIS EMOTIONS IN A PRACTICAL MANNER,KNOW THEM,ANALYSE,AND TRY TO FIND A SOLUTION WHICH IS PRACTICAL,TOUGH BUT VERY FORCEFUL.Take all the help u can!Learn to defend urself.Better learn some KARATE OR FIGHTING techniques or HIRE BODYGUARDS!U need to act fast and quick.Don't involve emotion here otherwise he may do something really regretful.Take the stringest possible measure.Shout at him,humiliate him,argue with him to the extreme.U never know how he may react.Ignore him or if u think that u can't pretend to be against him totally then quit the job and get a new job.Uneed to use FORCE and A LOT OF COURAGE AND BRAVERY HERE.IF THE MAN TRIES TO ASSAULT UR BOYFRIEND,U MAY LOSE THE PERSON U LOVE.THE PERSON WON'T RISK HIS LIFE JUST TO BE WITH U!C'mon Girl!THIS IS UR LIFE.U CAN'T LET ANY INTRUDER DOMINATE UR LIFE LIKE THAT.FOR THAT CRUEL MAN U R JUST TOY!HE DOES'NT CARE ABOUT UR EMOTIONS,DOSEN'T WANT TO SEE U HAPPY,IS POSSESSIVE,JEALOUS AND MAY TREAT U LIKE A SLAVE IF U GIVE IN TO HIM.
REMEMBERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!U need to get rid of the man and the right and just way is LAW.

Answer 3

I hope you learned a lesson to NEVER go out with a guy who has a hard time taking no for an answer. You have NO obligation to him at all. Tell him to stop harrashing you or you will report him to Human Resources at work. Or whoever handles conflict at work
You have the guts of a worm. Be strong woman. When you say no to a men mean NO. You need to get a spine gf or men will take advantage of you for the rest of your life. If you want a good strong man, be a good strong woman.

Tell him back "Give up the Fight or this will BE a fight of Sexual Harrashment buddy" Before you say that be sure and document everything and hand to your supervisor or who ever you need to go to.

This situation will only get worse. Take a stand.

Answer 4

Here's the problem. When you really don't like a guy in that way and you already see that he is very persistant on being with you. Those are the types you have to be very aggressive with. Verbalize that "Yeah your nice and everything but i'm not interested." Don't go out on any dates. Don't accept any gifts nothing. why? because this isn't the type of man you can be "friendly" with. These type of guys read into everything, so if he asks you to lunch and you accept, in his head he's thinking "well, she said she doesnt like me, then why is she going to lunch with me?" meanwhile all your thinking is "Awe, that was nice of him." You have to be careful of the signs you may give someone. If you know a guy really likes you yet you dont like him, you shouldn't accept anything from him. It's giving him mixed signals. And agreeing to date him because he always tries to please you was definitely the wrong move. Because while you were thinking only as friends, he wasn't.
That's why i never dated people from my job because once it goes bad your left feeling uncomfortable at work. Who needs that?

Answer 5

Please realize I am on your side. However, you caused this. You refused to get involved with him at one point then you allowed him into your life by letting him help you with different things, then you graduated to a date here and there.

Men don't think like women. It is never just casual for them. He never gave up hope. He did it all in the hopes of slowly getting into your world and becoming your man. Now you're in a really bad spot.

I would start by explaining to him...you didn't cheat on him. In your eyes you were not in any type of committed relationship with him, therefore what you choose to do otherwise is not cheating.

Explain that his whole attitude makes you very uncomfortable and from here on it you want absolutely nothing to do with him of a personal nature. You will be civil and professional at work, nothing more. Tell him if he doesn't stop, he will be forcing you to discuss the situation with a superior at work.

Please learn a couple lessons here. To men, "no" isn't always "no". And...never date somebody you have to work with. It's always going to be awful when the relationship doesn't work out. Just make it a rule. Don't do it. Life is tough enough without us adding to it.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

Tell him what he is planning is sexual harrassment, let him know you aren't interested and will not tolerate his pursual. Do not mention you will actually do anything with the sexual harrassment, let him make it all up in his mind as this will be more compelling to him.

If that doesn't work, hit him with the case, or threaten first depending on how much you like this guy. Probably just going to the boss would be a sufficient deterent in the first instance.

Basically don't stand for it be adamant and he should get the picture, if he doesn't then he deserves evrything he gets.

Answer 7

It sounds like to me that you are feeling bad about this. It is nice and it can be flattering that someone wants to be with you. I personally think that the reason why he keeps following you is because he doesn't see reality. You can have a crush on someone, but no matter what happens. You cannot force somebody to love you. All that I can really say is that he doesn't see reality, all that he lives in is fantasy. There really isn't nothing to be afraid of, things will stay the same. He likes you, you don't like him, and then he gets upset. He will eventually learn that he can't make you feel a certain way. He will eventually go.

Answer 8

You've made 2 big mistakes.
If you had no interest in the guy from the get-go you should have made that clear, and under those circumstances never accepted his help.
It isn't wise to date or see people that you work with. This may turn out nasty and your job could be in jeopardy if he decides that he wants revenge.Even if it turns out well, you will be reminded every day when you see him that there was friction between the two of you.

Answer 9

Be careful it doesn't become a stalkery kind of situation. That happened to me once. Aside from the obvious advice, you could also say that you are also workmates and that it wouldn't be a good idea because of that.
Or, do something that totally turns him off, something you know he'd hate. (pick your nose and eat it, etc.)
You could do the classic move, switch numbers, find another job and then quit... in that order!! if it gets really bad.

Answer 10

Your co worker friend needs to see you with someone else, maybe wal-mart, eating out somewhere.,something of that nature. Talk straight up to him next time he says he won't give up the fight. No flirting with him or trying to turn his head in any way. This is leading him on. I believe if you change some of your ways- he will eventually leave you alone. But don't exspect him to be your friend anymore.

Answer 11

Don't accept any invitations he offers, even as a friend. If he comes to you at work, just beg off and tell him you are busy and can't talk. Do not answer his phone calls. He doesn't seem to get the message. Do all you can not to have any contact with him, then surely he will get the message.