best jokes?

Question

tell me some. if it's good ill choose it as best answer

Answer 1

One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names?
The dad answers, well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees....
Why do u ask Two Dogs *******.

Answer 2

A brief history of the world....

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to
the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2
distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting
for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
known as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of
cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives
provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
the jackass.

Many modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most
prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like
their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still
provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes and generally
anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other
conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They
crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying
to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

Answer 3

Why did the man put his bed in the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log

Why was the baby strawberry crying?
His mom and dad were in a jam.

What kind of bee gives milk?
a boo-bee (boobie)

Answer 4

George Bush...

Answer 5

Guy walks in the bar with his dog. "Hey! You can't have that dog in here!" So he ties the dog outside. After tipping a few, a cop walks in and asks,"Whose dog is that?"
"Mine, what about her?" "Your dog is in heat." "Bullsh*t, I tied her in the shade!" "NO, no...your dog needs to be bred." "Bread hell, I buy her the best meats in town!" "You don't understand, your dog needs sex!" "In that case go ahead, I always wanted a police dog."

Answer 6

depew and lancaster had a football game, depew won!!! hahahaha

Answer 7

good way of having a laugh! huh..

Answer 8

Look in your pants.