my partner and l are very happy and very much in love but the next step is commitment we both came out off hurtfull relationships l asked him to move in with me he has his own place but he's not said he won't but he can't at the moment how do l take this,l love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him
2006-07-02 01:11:54 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well since both of you had a bad past experience than i think you should give him more time.... if he does not want to move in that does not mean he does not love you.... maybe he is taking one step at a time and moving in with you is a giant leap for him.... so tell him that you understand and will wait when he is ready...
do talk to him about his past and see if you can help him overcome his fear that he has within....
No body wants to get hurt and guess he does not either and this time he wants to things to work out so he is playing it slow and safe.... that's a good sign that means he does not want to hurt you either...
You have to be patience with him.. i hope everything works out of you!
2006-07-02 01:23:24 · answer #1 · answered by Pari 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Take it easy, you are both holding into hurtful feelings and pushing for a commitment may only cause more hurt and possibly resentment. I know when you are in love it is hard to wait for what you want, but it is only right if it is something BOTH of you are ready for. Let it rest awhile, then revisiit the subject carefully. If you cannot wait anymore, then maybe this wasn't meant to be, or maybe the break will bring you together.. I know these are conflicting anwers, but I have had both happen with me. Good Luck!
2006-07-02 09:23:30 · answer #2 · answered by B. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar experience, my man was against committing himself due to a past experience. We had been together for almost four years, so I never mentioned it again, I cooled things off, did not ring or text him as often - it made him realise that he did want to be with me. I think it also depends on your family situation. He had two grown up children who had left home, where my children are still very young. Try and regain some independence and confidence, if he thinks you do not need him, he will be even more interested. Time is all important (within reason), just don't push the subject too often as this would just create further arguments. Low and behold - he asked me to move in with him a month ago. It worked for me, hope it does for you too. Good luck!!
2006-07-03 07:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Uh-oh!!! This sounds familiar to me. Sending you supportive vibes.
Don't worry. You don't mentiion how long you've been together? Or what your ages are? I think that makes a difference.
Probably best not to push him into more commitment than he can manage for now. Give him time.
You seem to have recovered from the hurt of the ex relationship - but everyone's different. It might take him more time to really, really trust you. That is no reflectiion on you at all.
I would say if you are happy - enjoy it.
2006-07-02 08:22:49 · answer #4 · answered by Suzita 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are but the rest of your life sure is along time when your 21, any-way's have you ever heard of the saying if you love someone set them free, if it was meant to be they would come back to thee. If the two of you are both coming out of hurtful relationships depending on the healing process of the break ups, it seems the two of you need to have space not suffocation of your new love or old love, depending like I said how long have you been together and separated from your past affairs?
2006-07-02 08:24:48 · answer #5 · answered by aboitoi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him time. It may take one of you longer than the other to deal with your past relationship and move on to making a commitment to another.
2006-07-02 08:18:30 · answer #6 · answered by Red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow and careful... As you said, you've both had bad relationships... Don't push it or rush it...
Just go with the flow and enjoy it...
2006-07-02 08:15:06 · answer #7 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well commintment is a vital part of a relationship
2006-07-02 08:14:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What they say: let it go. If it was met to be, it will come back to stay.
2006-07-02 08:16:24 · answer #9 · answered by scrappypapa754 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋