but my husband insists for unprotected sex..he wants more baby..at least 6 as he says.. i once did a secret abortion..our relationship is on a decline after this....i am only 23 and i dont want to conceive again and enjoy my social life..how to make him under stand that..
2006-06-30 22:52:51 · 19 answers · asked by peppy_me 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
let him take care of the 3 babies, full time....
2006-06-30 22:56:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you gotta tell him if he wants to have unprotected sex then he has to get the chop. Simple. At your age, there is too much living to be done, & truely, I hate to think about how your body will handle pregnancy after pregnancy. Sounds to me like your man is a little on the selfish side. Has he been present when you were giving birth? Does he actually know the physical & emotional strength it takes to have babies? Has he any idea how you feel? What about getting yourself some protection? There are IUD's, the pill, Depo Provera & the little rod that goes into your arm & protects you for three years.
You want to hope your man eases off a bit with the large family business because your still so young & if your relationship doesn't work out, then you'll be the one left holding the babies. All six of them.
Good luck to you, I hope your man figures out sooner rather than later the ramifications it will have on your body, mind & spirit if he persists. Not to mention the financial strain so many kids can have on the family budget in the year 2006 and beyond. Not to mention the fact that one day they will all be in school (more money) & what will you have to do? Your still young enough to further your education & get a great job, part time or casual. All mothers should be there for their kids as all partners should be there for their significant other, but its give & take. Don't let him manipulate you by intimidating you. Your opinion & feelings count too.
2006-07-01 06:06:49 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an IUD. It can cost from $50 to $150. You can have it removed if you win the lottery and can afford more kids. You tell him that maybe someday you might change your mind, but for now, you'd like to concentate on raising the children you have. Pregnancy is very hard on a woman's body. You need to take care of yourself and there is plenty of time for kids in the future because you are only 23. He doesn't need to understand it, just accept it.
That's a pretty big secret to hide from him! That isn't good for either of you. He'll never know your pain, and you can wind up resenting him. Don't do that again. Make a doctor's appointment as soon as you can! Get birth control! There's even a shot you can get to prevent pregnancy.
A child should be wanted by BOTH parents.
2006-07-01 06:06:12 · answer #3 · answered by mithril 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean no disrespect! "MAKE" him understand that? If that can be done maybe he can "MAKE" you change your mind. Is this a warfare or a marriage? It seems there are so many females advising you to secretly do something. A "secretive" marriage? Doesn't anyone understand that the word "relate" is the root of "relationship"? Just how responsible are you? Did you just recently find out that he wants 6 children or did he make that known before you were married? It's a sad reality that it takes two to make a marriage work but only one to destroy it. Even if you knew and have changed your mind, tell him your feelings, with your heart. Make sure he knows your feelings! If his desire for so many children is a new revelation then he has been unfaithful to you. Not with another woman, but by trying to get you to do this without discussion before the marriage.
2006-07-01 07:26:31 · answer #4 · answered by euhmerist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need him to look after the kids or go to a counciler or see someone or maybe you should try and talk it out with him like tell him that you onto want to have any more just yet or at all like if he loves you then he should understand and if gets shity then just express say your only 23 ad have 3 kids my aunty is only 21 with 3 kids on her way for the 4 and i dont know how she is gonna cop but her bf my uncle wants 21 kids because my nan had 20 so dont let him make you like my uncle is making my aunty.. hope this helps keep smiling:)
2006-07-01 06:25:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't understand that then you should consider leaving him. Perhaps the thought of being without you will be enough to make him listen. It's not unreasonable to stop after 3 kids, especially when you are so young.
Also think of the overpopulation of the Earth already! If everyone had 6 kids we would run out of fresh water and food in the next 50 years.
2006-07-01 05:59:01 · answer #6 · answered by smartsassysabrina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is called an abusive relationship. for a marriage to function a communal situation should be in practice. the husbands responsibilities do not start and stop with impregnation. upbringing, education, social interaction, careing for the children are all part of the parenting process. any man can be a father, it takes a special person to be a dad.
2006-07-01 06:07:29 · answer #7 · answered by MICHAEL G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the age of 23 having 3 children is too bad. You have to arrest the desire of your husband in a very delicate manner not at all brushing him in any manner. You better go for some sterlisation and allow him to have unprotected sex, whereby no more pregnancy and birth from your womb.
2006-07-01 06:02:55 · answer #8 · answered by mkm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your body, and you have the right to tell him you don't want to be pregnant again. If he absolutely insists on unprotected sex, tell him you will be seeing your doctor for a tubal. He, as your husband, should respect your decisions, no matter what. I feel you are being very responsible about this. Withhold sex if you have to. Be honest in your reasoning...just tell him you don't want to become pregnant again. He will eventually get the point. Good luck.
2006-07-01 06:06:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children and the number of children are topics usually discussed before one marries. Now that you are already in the situation, the only way to deal with it is to directly address it. However, it is his choice if he is willing to accept your decision or not. Maybe you two can reach a compromise. If not, you will have to make some decisions about the future of your marriage. All the best.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com (also has information about divorce)
2006-07-01 05:58:35 · answer #10 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A tubal ligation might be in order. In my state (NH) i had the procedure without my husbands consent after a thirty day waiting period(to be sure that a childless future was in MY best interest). Might be worth looking into because bring unwanted or unintentional children into this world is a great problem on our society.
2006-07-01 05:58:51 · answer #11 · answered by Grace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋