Help, this guy i know is in LOVE with me and i dont love him. How can i tell him without hurting him?

Question

I have known this guy for 4 years and he's sickly in love with me. Its really annoying!!! He wants to be around me all the time. When we hang out together with friends he always hanging on me like im his girl. I really dont wana keep making him look stupid when hes around other people. And whenever any other guy tries to talk to me he threatens to beat them up. What should i do?

Answer 1

Wow, it sounds this guy's really serious, and dangerously obsessed. For your case, better say to his face that you don't have any interest with him whatsoever. Be nice at first, but if he still remains insistent, better be candid and frank in reiterating your feelings. A piece of advice, when you actually tell him that, don't do it in private. Make sure you're friends are somewhere within earshot, just to be on the safe side. I mean, one never knows how these kind of guys would act. Just be careful okay?

Answer 2

First of all, don't do anything to encourage him into thinking you return those feelings. I am sure you probably were not but, he may or may not be getting what he feels are mixed signals from you which a normal person or one who's not obsessed would know means Absolutely nothing.

Then you may have to find another older brother, male cousin or another guy friend, preferably one can deal with his very Dominant macho personality to back you up when you tactfully but seriously point out to him a chica he finds physically abhorrent (UGLY) and tell him "now how would you feel if she were to be after you like white on rice for over 4 years?" {PAUSE} If he's got any sanity left...that should do it...

otherwise...HE may be losing a friend ask him, if he had a choice between a hands-off, your-not-my-personal-bouncer/bodyguard-friendship and NOTHING, what would he prefer?

I say, if he LOVES you, he will let you go, remember Una Mujer (What a Girl Wants) by Cristina Aguilera (a fav song of mine)
that if you love "something let it go..."

He must not realize that instead of making him appear strong and all that, it makes him look loco in la cabesa!

Hope this helps.

Please understand if you cannot even "go there" with him, well...avoid him until he asks why then tell him, and have someone that he trusts, another dude, to let him know the SAME thing...

Answer 3

I feel I'm in the same situation right now...I told him outright that I'm not interested. It has to be done. He's going to be upset no matter how you handle the situation, but it's a start. For once you need to consider yourself and not his feelings, I have a feeling that you are very sympathetic towards him and that's how this whole situation began.... I would limit my contact with him as well. If he doesn't begin to leave you alone you may have to take it farther, sounds like he's a bit obsessive.

Answer 4

i have had this done to me well actually still have ..this boy loves me but he cant get the fact in his lil head that i am TAKEN and you girl you just have to tell him before you do or say something you regret if you dont love him then explain..you have to tell him how you feel if you keep going on like this you wont have a life. anyway hope this helps you .

Answer 5

i was in the exact situation... One day he even got off at my bus stop to ask me out and had to call his mum cuz he was so far from his bus stop... anyway it wasn't easy but i just had to tell him i was wanted to be friends its hard and i felt like a murder but you can try to ignore it i try'd and well it will not work. Well Good Luck!! and im sorry but its not easy...

Answer 6

be straight up and dont beat around the bush

Answer 7

Girl, i have this problem all the time, have someone beat him up

Answer 8

Introduce him to another lady, he'll get the hint.

Answer 9

well just tell him in a nice manner

Answer 10

you have to tell him.....yes hes probably going to be hurt...but he'll be ok