Coming out?

Question

How can I come out to my parents without having a long 10 minute talk about it?

Answer 1

My 2 Cents.

You do not HAVE to come out to ANYONE.

Although I believe my being gay is not (was not) a choice, I firmly believe that it truly IS your choice to come out.

I would examine your motives. Why do you want to come out to your parents? There are many reasons:

>To be honest and open about your life.
>To make them angry.
>To let them into your life.
>To push them away.

I don't know your motives. But I think it's good to think about them before making the jump.

I tell people, "Hey... I was gay before it was cool." LOL

You can read MY coming out story (which was also featured on gaydar.com international gay radio which I think was cool) by going to the link below.

It's all up to you, is my point. If you don't want to come out, you don't have to.

Answer 2

I disagree with eduarodi. Sometimes it depends on how your parents are. My best friend told her mom, and her mom was like, "Oh, really? Okay then." And that was it. Her father found out by looking at the bumper stickers on her car, lol. It's not that they didn't care, they were just totally cool with it. They're happy for her, and love her the way she is. My family was a little more difficult, I had to ease my mom into the situation and it took like 4 years to do it. First I told her that I was attracted to girls, then I said I was bi, and I finally just came out about it. Don't do what I did, it's a long, drawn out process that really doesn't help anybody.
Do you think you're parents will be okay about it? If so, then just find a proper time and tell them, and you won't have to talk long at all. But if they're going to be a problem, if you think they won't accept you, then a much longer conversation is needed.

Answer 3

I pretty much think that they are going to want to talk about the issue. I am sure that it will come as a surprise and if nothing else just the discussion will help them make contact with any of their feelings about the matter.

I think pretty much most parents envision some kind of idea of their kids growing up getting married, that is in the man woman sense, having children, i.e. their grandchildren, etc. etc. etc.

While the issue may have more immediate implications for you and not unsettle you in your mind try to come out to your parents is bound to throw them for a loop.

Considering that they did raise you and invest, if nothing else, considerable money in feeding you, clothing you, housing you, etc. etc. etc. since you were a child, to expect them to just take the news without wanting to get more comfortable with an idea that may run entirely contrary to everything they may have envisioned for a child in whom they invested some effort is a little shortsighted and impatient.

About the only option is to just tell them outright that you don't intend to have any discussion about it, and when they start to try to engage you in a discussion, just politely walk out the door. You can do this as often as you like, until they realize that you are serious about not having a long discussion.

It may require consderable resolve on you part however.

Answer 4

Ten minute talk? I'm afraid it's going to be much longer than that.

I think you can expect them to respect you, but you cannot expect them not to care. If you came out to them and all you got were: "Oh, really? Okay. So, what do you want for dinner tonight?", that would show they don't care about you. It's not the length of the talk what matters. It's what is said in it. Anyway, good luck.

Answer 5

You can't. Whichever way you approach their finding out there is going to be a Q & A session that'll last more than 10 minutes!

Answer 6

I understand, if your not looking to sit down for an hour long conversation about being gay, then I'd do this. Invite your special friend over, get naked, both lay in bed, and yell down for your parents, and have them walk in on you two.

They should get the point....

Answer 7

You can't! They are your parents and they are going to have some questions. Consider their feelings and take the time to talk with them. You have probably been wrestling with this issue for months......give them the same courtesy. I hope everything goes well for you.

Answer 8

Hey Mom, Dad... I'm bi/lesbian/gay and I just wanted to tell you because you are important people in my life. ...I'm going to go see a movie now. Later.

Link about help coming out to family/friends/and so on:
http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=About_Coming_Out

Answer 9

if you really cared about your parents then it wouldn't matter how long it would take....but here it goes---"hey mom dad, i'm going out for a while, got a date with a really nice guy, see ya, and don't wait up for me, love ya."

Answer 10

You need to believe in yourself. Go out, have fun, and shout IM GAY from the rooftop. Then magically grow wings and fly off into the ether.