We have never hidden or had any secrets from each other... He has recently had a secret email address and he disabled his archives on yahoomessenger. Im probably just paranoid, but we talked a couple of weeks ago, we always talk about situations what we would do if they occured and he told me that if he ever fell in love with someone else and still loved me at the same time that he would never tell me and that he would choose me and his family over the person. He keeps writing poems that sounds suspiciously like he has fallen for someone else... and I even confronted him about the poems and he told me he didnt know they sounded that way... Its weird because we have always been open and honest with each other... I dont mind him reading my emails getting on my messenger checking out my archives.. He knows all my accounts and all my passwords. And I have known his...I dont ever check but recently Ive just had this nagging pain that he could be in love with someone else... so whatdya think
2006-06-30 19:08:45 · 31 answers · asked by hearts_bleed_dark 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know I sound really paranoid but if he is in love with someone else I really wanna know, I cant bear the thought of him loving another... I really love him, hes my whole world. I guess Im just paranoid and scared... it just doesnt seem like him... I forgot to add that I told him that if he ever did to tell me because I wouldnt want that to be kept a secret from me... I dont wanna hurt but I do wanna know the truth. I dont wanna loose him!
2006-06-30 19:11:40 · update #1
Just be honest with him in a calm manner. Let him know that you have a feeling that he might be in love with someone else - bring up the archives and the secret email address and just ask him to be honest about why he has these things now.
2006-06-30 19:43:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it. Here's the thing though. You do the exact same thing. Change your passwords the hole 9 yards. If he asks why you changed them, just kinda blow if off saying, " I like my "privacy".
Men usually love the thought that they can go out and have a little "fun" so to speak, but when the wife starts looking like she's having a little "fun" too, he usually starts to realize that he loves what he has at home, and ain't nobody gonna take it from him.
When he comes into the room, shut the computer down! Do stuff like that. It's time for you to be the mystery woman. Let him know that you have also decided that if you ever fell in love with someone else, and still loved him that you'd choose him.
By the way, you can't fall in love with someone else if your not out looking for someone else.
2006-06-30 19:37:10 · answer #2 · answered by tcm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that he is infactuated by another on the internet.. alot of people think because they arent physically involved with the person on the net that it doesnt really classify it as cheating although they are being intimate and personal on an emotional level by confiding in each other on a level that their significant other wouldnt agree with..
If he has another email account, and u know your husband if he's acting odd, more then likely something is up.. probably not cheating on you in the physical sense but id say he's definately crossing the line through the computer..
Start checking phone cell phone bills, ect if he's that smitten with someone the next step is him calling her or her calling him on the phone when your not around. Then the trouble really begins because their taking it to the next level..
If your gut says something up, more then likely your right.. I found out my x husband was cheating on me, because i was sweeping the floor in the kitchen one day and something told me to pick up the phone and hit redial.. sure enough i got another womans answering machine.. So dont think to lightly about your gut instinct.. I hope for your sake we are wrong, but usually a woman is pretty perceptive when something is up..
Good luck.. and it may be time to get rid of the PC..
2006-06-30 19:25:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is very possible that people change and don't realize what God has put in front of their face to fall in love with(soulmate). But being a guy I can honestly say that we don't excactly stop to think about those kinda things. I think he's just thinkin' that it would be nice to get a different taste but hasn't taken the plunge yet. I say that you ask him what his best fantasy is between you and him and not another person (unless your cool with that) and try workin' on makin' him remember who he fell in love with. Just don't wait to long to let his heart be frozen stiff to where he can't remember and starts questioning the relationship, and don't ever put us guys on the spot askin us why we even love you ladies because dammit we got alot of stuff to think about and face it we're not like you we can't remember that fast so that's all I got.
Wish you luck
-Skoob04
2006-06-30 19:20:04 · answer #4 · answered by skoob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are projecting your sub-concious belief that you are unlovable onto your husband because the thought that you ARE LOVABLE would not be conciously acceptable to your rational mind.
Desperation is never a noble virtue - and a very unattractive one.
Deal with what is in front of you. Deal with physical evidence - you can't trust your instincts at this stage - yes, you are paranoid.
Good luck.
2006-06-30 19:17:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on your newer email, where he told you he is in love with somebody else, I would say he has been unfaithful.
Try an open, non-monogamous relationship if that will work for you. If not, you may be setting yourself up for some real heartache.
Remember, love and monogamy, they're two different things.
2006-07-03 04:41:11 · answer #6 · answered by rightonrighton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he told you he wouldnt tell you if he was to get into another relationship. so maybe he has fallen in love with someone else and youare sitting home waiting around like stupid, do something about this now and dont let him know what you are doing. follow him and find out what he is doing.try to hire a private investigator, find out, if he is doing anything with anyone you will find out. follow him in another car he deosnt know.good luck.
2006-06-30 19:20:01 · answer #7 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, not all men cheat. if you really think something is up have a camera set up in the room with the computer and watch it from another room. save it and confront him later.
As for women saying that if a man has a chance to cheat and not get caught, not all men need to cheat. I have what I want and dont have a need to cheat.
2006-06-30 20:00:32 · answer #8 · answered by wmichael.harvey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky one. You may just need to trust in what he is saying. But if you are really that concerned, talk to him again and express to him how you feel.
If he isn't cheating or thinking about it, he will do everything in his power to make you know that he is not.
If he is cheating, then approach the subject lightly, but be consistent in you feelings about it. I hope everything works out for you. Pray and Good Luck!
2006-06-30 19:37:33 · answer #9 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU HAVE THIS FEELING THEN IT IS MORE THAN LIKELY THAT HE IS CHEATING OR THINKING ABOUT CHEATING. WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED OR IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW THEM YOU KNOW THEIR HABITS AND YOU KNOW WHEN THEY ARE NOT TELLING YOU EVERYTHING. YOU DONT WANT TO CAUSE A PROBLEM IN YOUR MARRIAGE WITH UNFOUNDED ACCUSATIONS SO YOU SHOULD JUST LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER UNTIL YOU SO FIND SOMETHING AND THEN YOU CAN GO TO HIM WITH THAT PROOF AND THIS WAY HE MIGHT JUST COME CLEAN. THIS IS GOOD ALSO IF YOU DONT FIND ANYTHING THAT MEANS THAT YOU WERE WORRIED FOR NOTHING. AND HE WANT FEEL LIKE YOU DIDNT TRUST HIM FOR NO REASON.
2006-06-30 19:25:23 · answer #10 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋