My mother in law interferes a bit too much in my maried life how can i stop it. I have a son and luv my wife but she listens to her mom more and me less. Please advise!
2006-06-30 18:04:33 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I cant bear it any further and going for polygamy. Its been three years already and if ma wife didnt understand she should go to hell.
2006-06-30 18:28:58 · update #1
everything will just get worse (although in a different way) if you bring this up with the mother and law. bring it up with your wife.
write it out a few times first, make sure you try and explain it so that it makes sense to her - what usually goes wrong when you talk to her about her mom? remember how close they are.
try and reach a compromise where you feel better and she feels like you are being fair about their relationship. this is dangerous territory, i know this because my mother and i are so close. she and i are wise to the 'mother and law' situation and she doesn't pry about my relationship with my husband, she doesn't try to wedge herself firmly into our lives. i go to my husband first and i don't tell my mother 'everything'. i talk to my mom about work and about funny things that have gone on instead of involving her in our close, personal marital relationship.
after you get married, it's spouse first. then children at a close second, then other relationships.
be open to problems she may have with you, and use that to compromise.
2006-06-30 18:13:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can give you some advise because I am just like your wife. I ask my mom advise on everything. A daughter and mother relationship is something men will probably never understand. My husband has tried for years, and has given up.
My husband told me he felt left out of decisions, and I didn't realize how he felt.
I now listen to my mom and I also talk to my husband about it,then make up my own decision from there. It might be what my mom said, it might not. I would say to your wife that it's ok if she asked her mother, but that she should also talk to you. That way she feels like she can go to her mom, but you are the most important factor in any solution. Now, he and I talk before I talk to my mom.
Chances are, your m-i-l tells your wife what she wants to hear--it's her mom.
Just let your wife now how you feel, try to understand where she is coming from, and good luck.
2006-06-30 18:18:54 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm sounds like you have a case of the Mother-in-law blues hon. Sorry to hear this. Well one thing for sure if you don't take care of it you won't be happy much longer. If it was just a friend per say you would be blunt and ask them to stay out right? Think of your "Mommy (inlaw) Dearest" as a friend. You need to first tell your wife where you teuly stand on this and tell her that if she REALLY loves you, she will back ur decision (as a silent partner let's say bc this IS her MOM) Then you do 1 of two things hon you can go talk to Dad in law (if there is one) and chances are if you go to him and have a very calm discussion with him and explain to him that you love his daughter very much and that you are trying to do things right but that ole Moms putting a damper on things, could he please talk to her, he most likely will OR Go straight to the Butt (I love that slang when it comes to talking about a mother in law) of the Jackass. Tell her how you feel and let her know you want this marriage to work but its not going to if she keeps being a BUTTINSKY! And yeah I know this is going to be hard but you have to do whats going to be right for the marriage right? Good Luck, we'll be rooting for u (also as a silent fan (Fans of the Partners Sick of the Mother-In-Law Blues)
2006-06-30 18:17:50 · answer #3 · answered by Angel B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a very tough question. You need to have a serious talk with your wife. Your mum in law should not interfere with your relationship. If both of you and your wife come with a compromise, you all should then have a talk with your mum in law and tell her not to interfere so much.
2006-06-30 18:10:59 · answer #4 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say u try to sit down and have a talk with both, and be straight forward with them, you married your wife, not her mother, although shes part of the family she needs to back out unless she's asked for advice on situations..its not that u want her to totally fall off the face of the planet u just need her to back off alittle.. if all else fails MOVE lol..
2006-06-30 18:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep.. tell your wife that you really care for your mother in law and you love her (even if you dont) tell your wife that you respect what her mother has to say (even if you dont really) Then tell her you understand the need a doughter has to be close with her mother but you feel that its making it hard for you two to communicate.
Try somthing like that..good luck
2006-06-30 18:39:08 · answer #6 · answered by jill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your wife. Explain the situation and tell her how you feel. She will respect the fact that you went to her and did not just sit on it and let it get worse.
2006-06-30 18:13:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down. Tell your wife it's either you or your mother-in-law. Period.
2006-06-30 18:34:56 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you need to tell you wife what you just told us.
2006-06-30 18:08:22 · answer #9 · answered by jj02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to agree with jj02 ,tell your wife what you just told us!
2006-06-30 18:24:55 · answer #10 · answered by Juventina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋