Am I old enough for marriage?

Question

I am 16. I have dated the same guy for 18 months now and we really do love each other but his family thinks that we should wait until i get out of school. But do you think it is okay for him to propose to me now? ......give some thought that I live in arkansas also and most of all for the record I'm not like most folks here in the natural state ..I am not ken to him in anyway. lol

Answer 1

Yes, you are too young but you have the right idea. There's nothing wrong being with him. Wait until your 19, or 20 if your still with him and he's good to you, then Marry him. But first finish High School, and do maybe two years of college. Think about preparing yourselves a good future. Don't rush into something, I'm not trying to be mean but your still young. Enjoy your youth and biuld your relationship.

Answer 2

I am in almost the same postion. That is so romantic. 18 months. Way to go. My guy and I have been off and on for about 2 years and we really love each other and can't wait to get married. The thing I always think about though is all the connections that are made through marriage. I mean you need a place to stay and you both have to pay bills and theres all the stuff that comes together. I mean being engaged (which should not have an age issue at all, I'm 17 and I wish my boyfriend could buy me a ring and purpose. lol.) is something completely different from the actual commitment of marriage. Stay engaged until you know you can handle all aspects of marriage. And I wish you both tons of luck in life.

Answer 3

it's KIN not KEN and you need to be staying in school and getting an education so you'll know a) how to spell and b) the difference between KEN and KIN

The younger you are when you get married the bigger the chances of being divorced before you are 20.

So let's think about the 'worst case scenario' here.....

You get married and next year you have a baby and then 18 months or 2 years later you have another baby.....so now you are barely 19 and you have two kids and he walks out on you....you have no high school graduation diploma, no college or university diploma and no work experience because you've been home burping babies and changing diapers for 3 years.......now what are you going to do to put a roof over your head, food in your belly and clothes on the backs of you and those two kids....

If you can't answer that question you don't have any business getting married yet

Answer 4

I got married when I was 19, my mom got married when she was 18. His mom got married and had him when she was 20 and her mom got married when she was 16.

From all of us, don't do it. Marriage isn't what you think.
Most of the time it's absolutley great, I wouldn't trade it for anything else. But it REALLY won't kill you to wait until your 19, or 23, or even later, really. It doesn't mean you don't love eachother, because sure, you do. But people change a lot, you will change and he will change. A whole lot. Everything, absolutley everything, things you didn't even know will get on your nerves, drive you insane, etc. and you'll feel like you've made the worst mistake of your life many times. you'll feel trapped and lonely. The highs are high right now, but that won't stay that way. The lows get really low, and the highs are never that high again. That's marriage, it's unavoidable fact. Look up "stages of marriage". You can't waltz blindly through STAGE TWO, it's a long stage. Marriage is lots of work, you don't need to be married when your 16. At least experience a few years living on your own, you can still be in love and seeing eachother and all that. But live a little, it's your only chance. And don't forget the birth control.

I'm 20, I'm in college, I've been married for just a few months. I'm paying over 300/month rent, about 200/month food, plus electricity and internet. We don't have a land phone and we don't have cable and we don't have health insurance because we can't afford it. If something happens and I get pregnant, we're going to be on welfare just to give birth - not counting all the expenses of having a child. And we started out with a few thousand dollars, we're both working, and we've been on a tight budget the whole time. Tight budget as in we walk everywhere and we only buy things we absolutley need - like cheap frozen chicken and whatever is on sale. If you don't know how to spend money and save money, you can't move out and live on your own. Chances are, you still want to have fun and so does he. Say goodbye to new clothes, makeup, hairdye, restraunts, cds, dvds... all of that fun stuff & say hello to dirty dishes, laundry, and paying bills.
Say hello to waking up at 6am to go to work (fast food? what are you qualified for?) after arguing (not having sex or hanging out with friends) until 1 in the morning. You'll find out he's selfish, he's a jerk. He'll turn 21 before you do and he'll go the bars without you.

Or you can keep dating, finish highschool, finish college. Establish a personal identiy and you'll both be ready for marriage.

I'm not in an unhappy marriage. We're still very much in love, more than we ever were. It's just reality.

Answer 5

I don't know who you've been talking to, but you have been decieved into believing that you have to get married at sixteen to be complete. At this moment you are free to choose a course for your life, and be anything you want to be. If you get married you will be under the direction of someone else. Chances are he has no clue to the realities of life, or a plan for the future,(that borders on reality anyway). Are you willing to let someone dictate your future when they probably have no clue to their own? That's kind of like going to the dentist after your tooth has fallen out. Suffering a painful situation for nothing. Graduate High School, go to college, if it's true love it will last until you get a degree. If it doesn't, the degree will allow you to marry for love and not because you have to depend on some guy to support you.
By the way, I live in Arkansas also, and I am appalled that people here have no problem with their teenage sons and daughters have sex before marriage, and getting married because of it.

Answer 6

Trust me. Don't get married just yet. He can go ahead and propose to you if you really want him to, but don't plan the actual ceremony any time soon. I would wait until you are at least 20 to get married. That gives you two plenty of time to work out all lifes little problems before trying to tackle the marriage issues. Right now you should be enjoying your last few years of high school, not having to worry about household bills and chores. Once you get married, the relationship will definately change. Before getting married, both of you need to sit down and discuss how the marriage will work. Ex. Who will work? Who will do dishes and other household chores? There are thousand of little things that need to be worked out before you get married. You don't want to marry someone and then less than 3 years down the road, have to get a divorce and move back into your parents house. Stay a teenager for a little while longer.

Answer 7

I was 24 when I married. Things were fine while we were sharing a house with some friends, but after we got an apartment to ourselves that's when he changed. I soon found out my, now late, husband was abusive, a control freak, a dead beat (refused to work to support his family), and an acoholic. I worked up until I gave birth to our son. He refused to work.

Marriage can trap you if it's the wrong person.

Personally I'd wait till you've dated him longer than 18 months. Give it a few years. There's no rush. When you're married chances are you'll not go to college, or end up supporting him while he goes to college.

You might want to wait until both of you have your education and a good job. Don't rush it. If you both really love each other then the love will last through out all of this. If it wasn't really love, well...at least you won't be trapped in a marriage. Marriage is easy to get into and hard to get out of. Expensive to get out of.

Answer 8

Yes way to young, u have no clue what lifes about yet, if you really love each other then time will make zero difference.. Wait till your atleast 21, u didnt say how old he is, if he's realitively close to your age, you probably cant even support yourselves let alone each other...go to school, get an education then once u have a decent job, then get married.. Marriage is at any age, is hard work, why make it any harder, if u really love him and you want a happy healthy marriage, you'll wait .. trust me, i was 18 thought i was sooooo in love, that i knew everything about love and life...just to wake up at 22 with 2 children and a man that decided he got married to young and that he's seeing another woman..
Statistics show that those that get married young have a higher divorce rate is that what you want ? what if you have children then it doesnt work out?? .. just wait awhile.. Be sure, give yourself time u have plenty of time, and why your parents having tied u up and locked u in your room and grounded u for life at even the meer thought of u wanting to get married is beyond me lol..

Answer 9

If you really believe that he is the one it's fine to get engaged now, just not married. An engagement is a promise for marriage later on, but unlike marriage it's not legally binding, it'll give you time to make sure he's the one for you. If it turns out that he isn't, you'll have the chance to turn it down before you have to go through an ugly divorce. An engagement should normally last at least 2 years anyways, and I'd suggest living together a while before you get married, people really change in that situation.

Answer 10

Some people do marry young and stay together forever, but please don't rush into anything. I know I am a different person now than I was at sixteen, and chances are that you and your boyfriend will be different even a few years from now. This doesn't mean that you can't get engaged later. If it is meant to be, you'll still be together when you get out of school, and his family is probably on to something when they say you should wait before getting too serious. Good luck!