My husband has sole legal and physical custody of his two children. The biological mother was proven unfit and diagnosed as bipolar among other things. Theoldest was 2 and the youngest was 7 months old when the state took them from her. Since then they have lived with us full time. The youngest is now 3 and the oldest is 5. She was given supervised visitations at her grandmothers house but didn't exercize the right very often and now lives out of state. Giving her the benifit of the dought I would say maybe 45 hours in 2 1/2 years and that is streaching it. I am the only mother figure they have. I was raised that a child only has 1 mom and 1 dad. I believe my situation makes that different. The boys don't have an active mother and they look at me as that mother. We talk the oldest knows who she is but they just don't have that bond with her. I have no children of my own they are dear to me as though they were my own. I stepped up because she refused to. They need a mothers love.
2006-06-30 16:07:56 · 12 answers · asked by Misty A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it is more stress because they are not your own but the seed that you are sowing now in their lives is what you will reap later, just be a good mom and be there for them, it need lots of patience.your husband need to help you out also,insist he does it.
2006-06-30 16:15:42 · answer #1 · answered by firewall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The stress you feel now will most definitely seem small when the rewards you gain come AND they will sweety believe me they MOST definitely will. You are their mother believe that. Just like with men it takes more than donating the sperm / egg to be a parent. Think of all the things you have to look foreword to like sports, g/f, graduation. And also try to remember that you need time for yourself don't try so hard to prove your the better person you ALREADY know that as well as everyone around you. Take time for you we have to stop and remember some times that before we were wives and mothers we were women and need to take time to celebrate that otherwise ur right you will feel crazy. Your just having actual "mommy" days. Lol be proud hell I am and don't even know you. Best Wishes hon
2006-06-30 16:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by Angel B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing the right thing, you being part of thier lives is what they need if thier mother isn't! I am in the same situation but with to different dads to deal with one is in the army and never sees his daughter but still pays child support. the other is a low life that has worked about a year total in the last five years. but he gets to see his son every other weekend. I just hope you don't have to put up with the same **** I do.If the mother of your step-childeren ever tries to be apart of thier lives again, Hopefully she understands the position that you are in, and doesn't accuse you of tring to take her childeren away from her. Just remember to answer any questions the children have about thier mother. I say keep up the good work, GOOD LUCK!! And try to treat them as your own
2006-06-30 16:24:23 · answer #3 · answered by tburke_25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you did the best you could trying to difuse the situation by talking to the children and their mother. i don't see why you or your children should have to put up with such harrassment at your own families event. I would explain to my mother and family that you are not willing to deal with such drama or the chance that your children could be hurt. i would either try to go to these functions and if that woman is there with her kids and they start causing problems leave immediately or just not go at all. i would rather my family be mad because i didn't go then end up in a fight and being threatened or possibly have my children hurt. i hate it when people use excuses for their kids because of problems they have. guess what there are a lot of kids in the world that have all kinds of medical disorders and they still don't act out that way. and i would tell my mother that if those kids are acting like that because of their disorder and they are not medicated then i won't be coming around until they are medicated! its a crappy situation but you should do whatever YOU think is neccessary for yourself and your children.
2016-03-26 23:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love them, then you handle the stress just like any mother of two that age. You love them and try to arrange things in a way that makes their life good. At the same time you realize that in order to be a good mother you have to have some time for yourself, so you hire a sitter sometimes or use the local church's mothers day out program to build some time for yourself into this.
Also, its important that you and your husband make time for just you.
Best Wishes
2006-06-30 16:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't the stress of being a step mother. It is the stress of being a mother. you love them like your own and treat them like your own. Are you just stressed in general from being a mom? Does it really matter that they are not your kids? As far as to answer your question. You have to find an outlet. Sorry but kids are always going to stress you until you are ready to snap. find a way to relieve your stress and you will be fine. And always remember that it could always be worse so keep your chin up.
2006-06-30 16:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by jailedmonkey03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My love i run a childcare center 24hour a day 7 days a week for parents who work hard.
How do you handle the stress for your kids, it is no diffrent with understainding kids need to learn not be yelled at.. or punished.. they are just scared and worried it is all new too them. by being there best friend by teaching your childrend to accept them and let them barrow ther stuff to wear or play with by making them special foods by putting notes in the lunch box by just knowing that they are loved by someone.. this will help with the stress, give them chores, let them help you fold the cloths, let them help you clean the house and take out the trash.. show them they are part of the family..
every seen a 7month old get his own diapers and wipes and changing mat to tell you he is wet.. or a 12month old get his matt for naps and then after nap take off the sheets and put them in the hammper and put his mat away..
it is all what you do with your kids. i have 2yrs olds washing dishes under my supervision and they love it. i have them vacuuming the floor with the hand held vac.. and they love it .. they are so well behaved and there parent love my childcare. bring back the family values and you can handle your stress for it will ground you in your soul.. love you for unconditional love is the key too all children.. and mostly to the men.. or husband.
2006-06-30 16:18:07 · answer #7 · answered by sillyatheart3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then be their mother and love them... you don't have to give birth to a child to be a mother or love and care for the children.... they deserve your love ab nurture. Love them as they were your own... your the only mother they have. look at all the children in the world that wish they had a mother figure such as yourself, some children have no one and are in foster care... what a life !!!
I commend you dear... keep up the good work and continue to be the best mother possible, in the end they will love you and come to you when they need something or just need to talk... Good luck and GOD BLESS YOU!!!
2006-06-30 16:15:08 · answer #8 · answered by answerqueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOOD JOB!!! I can tell you, the best thing to do is be there for those babies and don't think of yourself as just a "stepmother". You're their mom in every sense and you are all they know. Be there for them no matter what! Good luck.
2006-06-30 16:12:28 · answer #9 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
treat them as your own, they are in fact.... youhave been their (mom) anyone can bear a child but not everyone can be a mom , most important thing to remember with kids is to REALLY listen to what they are saying and try not to interupt they will respect you for that
2006-06-30 16:28:05 · answer #10 · answered by transplanted 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋