this is how my husband is he is to lazy to go out with me he is on his computer all the time then he gets mad when i ask him to spend time with me,he dont show emotions yeah he says he loves me but i think it is nice to be shown.what do u think?
2006-06-30 16:07:31 · 21 answers · asked by cierra m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think you should leave your husband just for that one reason. Is it just that he doesn't want to spend time with you while he is on the computer or does this go beyond the computer? Is he affectionate towards? What kind of guy is he to you? How does he treat you? Does he do little things for you that let you know without having to say i love you to show you that he really does? I think you have to look at all these things before you can make a decision of leaving. Maybe he is just wants to relax and having some alone time helps him do that. Maybe no-one showed him affection so he won't just come out and want to be "together" Maybe it makes him feel awkward to be love dovey because he doesn't know what exactly that entails so he does little things here and there for you in hopes that you will get the message without having to come out and be embarrassed? I am not sure, i don't know you or your husband to help you make this major decision, but i hope i can give ya some insight on how to help yourself with making that decision. Talk about it with him. even if it seems like he's not listening, he is. You should So just keep on trying and if you really can't deal with it then that's when you can make your decision. Good LUCK!! Let us know how it goes!
2006-06-30 16:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I didn't know you got on my computer Honey?
No just kidding, There is a problem, couples should have time to spend together set aside. Most people work 8 hours a day come home and shower, then dinner, some TV, then to bed. Now a days the Internet and computers in the house can consume a person an additional 4-6 hours and not even realize it. If you noticed there has not been any time for talking (communicating between one another) and affection. This is because most couples don't have anytime for this.
NO YOU SHOULD NOT LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND yet. First set up time for the two of you to sit down and talk about the day. Look at one another, touch, talk. You will know fast if what you try to do to bring you to together by talking isn't working, then plan to talk to a lawyer.
2006-06-30 23:25:54 · answer #2 · answered by tc_an_american 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read this, before you leave.
DIVORCE AND SEPARATION Most of you, say you believe in Jesus, but the problem is, many of you do not want to obey what He & the Writers of the Bible tell you.
"We may claim to love God, but how we react to what his inspired Word, the Bible, teaches will reveal our true thoughts, even the very intentions of the heart." In other words, you have your on thoughts on the matter, & heck with what the Bible says. But I'm going to take the time to explain what the Scriptures say about Divorce & Remarriage.
God, the Originator of marriage, designed it to be a permanent union. But is there any Scriptural reason for a person to divorce his or her mate—and one that would allow for the possibility of remarrying? Jesus addressed this matter by declaring: “I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9) Sexual infidelity by a mate is the only ground for a divorce that will allow the innocent mate to remarry.
In addition, the Bible’s words at 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, while encouraging marriage mates to stay together, allow for separation. Some, after trying very hard to preserve their marriage, feel they have no choice but to separate. What can be acceptable Scriptural grounds for such a step?
One is willful nonsupport. When getting married, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and children. The man who willfully fails to provide the material necessities of life “has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible.
Another is extreme physical abuse. So then, if a mate physically abuses his wife, the victim may separate. (Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7) “Anyone loving violence [God’s] soul certainly hates.”—Psalm 11:5.
Another ground for separation is the absolute endangerment of a believer’s spirituality—one’s relationship with God. When a mate’s opposition, perhaps including physical restraint, has made it impossible to pursue true worship and has imperiled the believer’s spirituality, then some believers have found it necessary to separate.—Matthew 22:37; Acts 5:27-32.
However, if divorce is pursued under such circumstances, one would not be free to enter a new marriage. According to the Bible, the only legitimate ground for divorce that permits remarriage is adultery or “fornication.”—Matthew 5:32.
The Bible allows only one reason for getting a divorce that frees a person to remarry, and that is fornication (Greek, porneia, gross sexual immorality). If fornication is committed, then the innocent mate may decide whether to get a divorce or not.—Matthew 5:32.
After telling the Pharisees that the Mosaic concession of divorcing their wives was not the arrangement that had prevailed “from the beginning,” Jesus said: “I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” (Mt 19:8, 9)
2006-07-03 23:50:24 · answer #3 · answered by BJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband to lazy to go out with you, or is he tired from working hard all day? Some people do not show their emotions
and I think this may be because emotions were not shown to him during his growing up years. You and your husband may need to try counseling. But if counseling is not the answer for you, maybe you should find hobbies or things you like to do with other friends or by yourself. In todays world, women do not expect men to go with them everywhere so be careful not to be dependent upon him.
2006-06-30 23:37:19 · answer #4 · answered by just guessing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your husband is lazy, sound to me like he is being selfish. Single people spend lots of time on the computer, not married people. Maybe he has a girlfriend on line or he's into Internet porn. If he's not wanting to spend time with you or not showing any affection to you, Why should you stay ! Push him to the curb girl!! Good Luck.
2006-06-30 23:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would help you to find some activities of your own perhaps with friends/coworkers etc... Get involved in something you love to do and that will help you. It sounds like your husband is addicted to the computer and it wouldn't hurt to suggest couples counseling...but I have a feeling he would not go for it. So find something for you...something that makes you happy instead of continually getting disappointed by him. Maybe he will see the change in you and wnat to change himself...just a thought. good luck..I know it's hard but you need to be a strong woman and do things for YOU!!!
2006-06-30 23:30:05 · answer #6 · answered by DreamingofU 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to know what to do when you can't get your husband to talk to you. You might want to try writing a letter to him so you can also stay calm. Give him the letter but not when he is on the computer. Let him read it on his own time. If he reads it and still can't talk to you after you let him know how you feel maybe you should leave. Try to write how it makes you feel not so much what he is doing wrong. Try not to accuse him so that he will not get defensive. I wish the best for you.
2006-06-30 23:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by jelly bean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is too lazy to love you with actions as well as words. Words are easy, you open your mouth and they fall out. I could say I'm einstein, it doesn't mean anything. Actions mean things. Actions like getting your fat *** off your computer and taking your wife out for a nice dinner somewhere. Don't you deserve a little more than you're getting?
2006-07-01 07:28:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Hun..
I have the exact same problem with my husband..
He sits on the computer or does stuff in his garage, but wont take me anywhere.
I cant even get him to simply go to the store or out to eat with me anymore..
Then, when I complain, he brings up that every once in awhile, i get home from work nd take an hour or so nap.and he wanted to do something with me while I was sleeping..
Its just a way to pass the fault off onto me as usual...
If you find the solution to this, please do share it with me..
2006-06-30 23:13:27 · answer #9 · answered by The Chesire Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loves you he should spend more time with you and less on the computer.
Love is only a word but it takes action to show true love.
2006-06-30 23:12:13 · answer #10 · answered by Johnny Transplant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋