are people born gay or do they try it first then decide????

Answer 1

Everyone I know who's gay (including myself) says the same thing. They never made a choice to be gay, they just always were and one day realized what that was going to mean to their futures. I've never been a feminine guy, myself... played football in school, learned martial arts, love doing yard work and working with power tools... the whole nine, and you can ask any member of my family. They'll all tell you they knew I was completely gay by the time I was four.

None of them ever said anything before I came out, but then, they did all say "I was wondering when you were goint to get around to telling us that" when I finally got around to it.

So, I would say from personal experience, from the experience of every gay guy I've ever talked to, and from all the data I've ever read, it's not a choice we make, it's something we are.

And oakster does make a good point for all those straight people out there claiming it's a choice. Just how much of a choice do THEY feel about their heterosexuality? Why do they think anyone else has an amazing power of choice they all seem to lack?

...

And yet, that doesn't seem to stop people who aren't gay from insisting they know what gay people think better than we do, as is evidenced by quite a few of the other comments on here.

Answer 2

I think some people are genetically misfigured for lack of a better term. I think that some are born gay, while others choose to be gay. Ive know both. My best friend cries all the time because shes gay, and Ive known women who married men and decided to try a relationship with a woman. So go figure. Some defianantly are born gay, though.

Answer 3

I think they're neither born that way nor decide- and it certainly isn't a "defect"-- who's to say what is perfect or healthy or normal-- that varies with culture, time, trend, religion etc etc.
I believe in the ole' 'conditioning' view of development- something in their environment (family, community, city, culture, and so forth) shaped them to be what they are, mixe with their own highly unique responses to those stimuli- so, even if everyone grew up in the same conditions, not everyone would be gay because some people respond differently.
Now, you can say that differene is due to gnetics, sure, BUT- there ARE twins, one is gay the other is not. So it's not all genetics and again, not a defect. Really, only the environment can explain that, because the environment determines genetic expression....

Answer 4

I've known personally different people who support each of the big theories. I knew a natural (blood) brother-sister pair who were both adopted by a couple who had no other children. Both the brother and sister independently "discovered" they were gay, and only found out about their sibling when the brother came out to the sister.
On the other hand, I also knew a man who had a very traumatic first sexual experience (forced by his fraternity brothers to have intercourse with an elderly female prostitute in front of all of them as they jeered and cheered him on and otherwise loudly critiqued his performance). He told me he had never desired men before that, but could never face or even imagine sex with a woman after that, and so found his way to other men.
I don't think there's a simple answer to this question.

Answer 5

It's unlikely anyone is born "gay". Same goes for being born heterosexual. Same goes for being born with cancer. All develop over time, but none is ever a choice. Genetically, we've never identified a gene for any, however, there appears that there may be a biological disposition if environmental factors are correct.

Answer 6

People are what they are, what's the point in questioning why they're that way?

Whether its something a person's *born* with or a conscious choice, is something that can be asked about any part of behaviour, and is only relevant if you're seeking to "change" them like some kind of "solution" to a problem. I fail to see the problem.

Answer 7

Born that way. My friend knew he was gay when he was 7. He didn't try it out first.

Answer 8

There is definitely a genetic component to gender identity. In twin studies, there was found to be an 80% chance that both twins would report being gay if one twin was.

In psycho-biological circles it is thought that gender identity stems from a critical time in utero. Increased levels of testosterone or estrogen by the mother (due to stress, or other confounding factors) on the developing fetus after genital formation has occurred is thought to be one cause. There is also thought to be a X factor link (on the female sex chromosome).

All that being said, we are thinking people who also have the right to choose. Early trauma (sexual or otherwise) can affects our behavior. I am quite sure you will find heterosexual individuals who choose to be gay, just as you are likely to fine homosexual individuals who choose to be straight.

Answer 9

Yes and no. We all know those people who are definitely born that way (whether we like that answer or not) and we all have known those people who maybe weren't but wanted to try it out for some bizarre reason.

Like anything else there are people who choose that lifestyle and people who are born to it.

Answer 10

Not born gay. Sexual involvement is simply organic biochemical reactions to stimulation unless it is kept in its proper place, between a man and a woman in love. Then it becomes something more fulfilling, in the soul. Even more intense if spiritually enhanced.

Damn, I should run for governor.