Here's my "story" as condensed as I can make it- I'm 25, an only child and want to move out of state to try to take my career as far as I can. I'm a makeup artist/hair stylist, and currently live in a small town in the midwest. I went through 4 years of college, got my bachelors and went on to a nice cosmetology school.
I currently work at a salon as a makeup artist and stylist, and have built up a pretty good clientele, but for the past 3 years, I've been itching to move. I have no strings attached and could do it, but there's one problem- my mom. She tells me that I can't make it out where I wanna move, I won't be able to afford it and that it's SELFISH of me because I am her only kid and that means I don't wanna be around her.
I don't want to hurt her, and that's why I've not moved... but how can I convince her otherwise without hurting her feelings? I'm struggling with this. I don't know what to do. I don't want to cause any friction between my mom at all.
Advice please????
2006-06-30 14:31:03 · 8 answers · asked by creativestarwish 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
someone asked my moms age- she's 47
i have no men in my life right now... well, my father, but he's neutral on this situation.
i appreciate all of your answers so far and am going to re-read through all of them again.
thank you
2006-06-30 14:47:34 · update #1
well it is ur life and ur an adult so ur mom has 2 get used 2 the fact that ur ganna move away sometime u should ease her into it tell her that u will visit her and u will call her and then she can go somewere diffrent 2 visit u good luck
2006-06-30 14:36:20 · answer #1 · answered by ... 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's afraid of being left alone. You will have to assure her that you will keep in touch and be back to see her. As we get older the thought of spending our later years without our kids sort of close can be frightening. Maybe when you get settled you have have her come spend some time with you. Call frequently and write if you can. Maybe send some pictures and try to involve her as much as possible with your new life. As you have figured out I think you should go and try your new life, but never forget your MOM.
2006-06-30 21:42:02 · answer #2 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gee this is a tuff one for me... see my mom is so nearly gone that i want to spend all the time i can with her...but she never stopped me from doing things i really wanted and even if it ended up mistakes she was always there for me.. and i know today if she was able to understand my problems she would still help me...i use to tell her everything but now i would not burden her with my problems, but she is confused all the time now or she is asleep...you know it really is hard to try and make a fresh start... how old is your mom.. do you have men in your life...if you have a good life there then why not stay until you can get your mom more comfortable with the idea.. i said this one is not easy for me... years with your mom are very special....so i can not really tell you anymore than that....i hope i helped you some..
2006-06-30 21:40:52 · answer #3 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe you're going to convince her in a way that she calmly sends her best wishes, gives you a hug and says to let's keep in touch. That will be an unrealistic hope. And yet you need to establish independance and make the move. So I feel you need to make it politely and lovingly clear to mom that you need to make to move in order to learn independance and survival skills, because mom...you won't be here to take care of me forever and I need to learn how to survive in this world on my own. You need to reassure her that you love her nevertheless and you wish to keep in contact through calls, email, whatever. And then you need to follow through. I always believe that such a move has to be done as amiably as possible, even if you're the only one keeping their composure and amiability, because it's never good to burn bridges. You want to be able to come back for visits, or even a permanent move, and not have to begin by apologizing for for a behaviorial mistep when you left in the first place. I hope that makes some kind of sense.
2006-06-30 21:41:33 · answer #4 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do whats best for you. This is YOUR life. And when you decided whats best for yourself, you need to sit down and tell your mom how you feel, why you are moving, and that you love here, and that its your life and she cant tell you what to do if you have a career already. Sure it will be tough, but your tough enough to make it and you would really like her support. Good Luck. I moved 17 hours away from my parents myself, and Im making it just fine!
2006-06-30 21:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my older sister did just that, just went to another state---north carolina, and our parents said she couldnt make it, but my parents had 8 kids.
this was 8 yr ago.
you need to do what you feel is right for you. when you stop somewhere send your mom a post card or a letter everyday. maybe that will help her understand that you need to do this for you and not doing this"to" her.
2006-06-30 21:38:02 · answer #6 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to pack her bags and come with you.
Seriously, if you really want to do this then you should go ahead, because one day you may regret it and you can do it as a temporary thing, and if all fails you can move back.
2006-06-30 21:36:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first thing your mom is being way too unfair its not her decision and just because you move it doesn't mean you hate her
secondly, it depends on where you moving too but if you CAN afford it do it
also i think your mom is being a little selfish herself and should let go
2006-06-30 21:37:56 · answer #8 · answered by Corkskrew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋