I've been with my Fiance' for 3 years. I love her, she loves me. Our first year of being together I was in Film School so it was a long distance relationship. The first month after I left, she slept with two guys. She finaly, with tears in her eyes, told me yesterday. The guys she had sex with were kind of my friends every since I got back from school. I keep seeing my girl with them in my head and it's killing me. I was stupid enough to ask how it happened and now the images are even more vivid and stomache turning. Just the thought of those bastards holding my woman and making her feel the things that only I'm supposed to screws with my thoughts almost constantly. Does anyone know any books, couselor technigues, or anything that can help me get over this. I am not going to end this relationship because we've been together to long and it is to strong. I just need someone to give me some mind and imagination control. Any advice will be helpfull. Thank you America
2006-06-30 14:03:52 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You love her,and want to be with her. She was honest with you. It happened 3 yrs ago. She has since proven how strong her love is for you. She made a poor choice. She's not the only one who has ever done so. Stop thinking about it, concentrate on the rest of the months she's shown you the love she has for you. think about 35 mos vs 1 mo. Enjoy your love and lady!!!! God heals the heart, and the hurtful memories fade. Don't believe once a cheater always a cheater. It's easy for someone to say leave when they aren't the one who's going thru it. Listen to your heart and pray. Believe me,she's punishing herself enough for both of you and hurts just as much as you do.
2006-06-30 14:18:53 · answer #1 · answered by nativeamericantay 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She hurt you you will NEVER get over that. It will always be there. Firts of all... How long did it take her to tell you? Atleast she did tell you. If you truley love her you will forgive her. Everyone has a chance at a second chance. People do, do STUPID things when they are lonely. Being a woman myself... If she is pretty it's hard for her to make the guys leave her alone (guys just don't care). She made a mistake anyone could depending on the situation. If you CAN'T get threw it you need to end it or you will BOTH suffer trying to make it work. There MUST be trust. Let it go and see if you can move on in the relationship.
Think of it like this... You now have a free ticket (guys night out where ever or whatever doing whatever. NO QUESTIONS ASKED) and even if you don't cash it in think of it that way.
If you love her forgive her. It's not easy being an attractive woman when your man is gone for a year or so.
It's not right she was wrong for doing it and I bet she regrets it. She probably see's that you look at her differntly now and that is punishment all in it's own. If she is a good person. you be the judge is she a good person in the heart? If so there isn't alot of them if what you got is good then you should repair it.
AND remember it was in the BEGGING of the relationship. That does play a facter.
2006-06-30 15:29:20 · answer #2 · answered by Misty A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Man... I know u stated that u r not going 2 end the relationship but keep n mind the world is full of many women that would have no problem being faithful 2 u so acknowledge the writing on the wall; "SHE'S A CHEATER" ... & she's already made u unhappy. " WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS U WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM !!!!! Get over her right now & allow yourself the chance 2 meet someone else bcause she's not the only woman that can make u feel good!
2006-06-30 14:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by DRAG RACER 7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its love, and u cant 4get ur love. its just that u love ur fiance so much that u keep on remember those 2 guys because of your love with her, u cant get those images out of mind unless u spend some time with your fiance like 2 the mall, movies, or something, im sure she feels guilty thats why she was in tears. she needs help in this situation as well, its not only u .
2006-06-30 14:19:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well those images will not go away if you see her every single day.this very same thing happened to me, i wanted to die and was succeding at it i also was taking my baby boy with me. it is a bad situation. ican tell you one thing is for sure you willnot forget it ever! ialso left myhusband for 3 months only because we where having a baby, and that didnt stop him from ripping my heart out and stepping all over it. its been a full year since this horrible thing happened and i have alot of trouble keeping him out of my life because i truly love him still, but at least he looks like he 's suffering know that he doesn't have me anymore. he begs and begs me to let him back in but it's not happening
2006-06-30 14:17:24 · answer #5 · answered by mariposa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kind of makes you wonder if she will do it again, doesn't it. I wouldn't stay with someone who would go behind my back and sleep with my friends. Not only that, I would be questioning the kind of company that I keep! Surely there is someone else out there that will be faithful to you and you wouldn't have to deal with the images.
2006-06-30 14:06:54 · answer #6 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off she's cheated on you before ( after only a month apart, that didn't take her long), she'll cheat on you again, if you want to try to save it get counseling for you and for the both of you a.s.a.p! It will take a lot of work. Good luck.
2006-06-30 14:09:17 · answer #7 · answered by Brandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'I've been with my Fiance' for 3 years. I love her, she loves me'
if she luvs u, how can she sleep with anybody else?
i think u cant trust your friends and your fiance after that incident, anyway you should have stop talkin to your friends, tell them you are no more their friend, and warn your fiance for anythin similar to dat in future, after that try to relocate ur trust on her, once u start trusting her, it would be alright,
dont let those two friends come around ur fiance.
2006-06-30 14:11:42 · answer #8 · answered by bizi_786 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this, but if the realtionship was that strong, she would not have slept with two of your friends. However, that is your choice if you wish to continue the relationship.
2006-06-30 14:10:22 · answer #9 · answered by margarita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, only time will heal the scare of those images/thoughts...
Sorry buddy, I wish there was something else a lot easier...
When ever you catch yourself thinking about it, replace it with a happy memory you have of her...
Good luck...
2006-06-30 14:06:52 · answer #10 · answered by Milkywayman22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋