would you date someone 20yrs older if you were in your mid years? Who out there is doing this?

Question

A tender subject among my personal friends and relatives.

Answer 1

If you are both okay with it, why not?

Answer 2

I am married to someone 15 years older than I am. We just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary, and have 2 beautiful children.

However, that being said...

You must consider closely your long-term relationship with this person before making a romantic connection and/or lifelong commitment.

This sort of distance with the male being younger would be unworkable in the long run... he's going to have his biological clock... that urge for children... go off sometime, and she's past bearing children safely. He's also infinitely less mature than her, and she would eventually find it annoying. I've known two couples who were like this, swore they could deal with anything (we're all thinking "yeah, right"), and were broken up within 5 years.

This sort of distance with the female being younger IS workable if....
you are in your 20's/30's....
--you recognize the generational attitude differences... my husband was raised in the 50's/60's, I was raised in the 70's/80's... and his nostalgia, political and social values, etc. are different than mine. We've learned to value each other's perspective, and to compromise.
--he will reach retirement while you are still active and working... how will you plan your lifestyles?
--he is at a higher risk of dying before the children are grown, if you have any... are you prepared to be a single mom?
--how he sees the role of the woman in the home will be different than yours... no matter what he says right now... because of the decade he was raised in. Once that marriage contract is signed, be prepared to teach an old dog some new tricks.


If you are in your 40's or 50's, and are dating someone in their 60's or 70's...
If your children are teens or grown, and you know that he's on the downhill road as far as lifespan is concerned so the relationship will have a shorter time than if you went with someone your own age...
What's the big deal?

The only problem I can see is that he might be looking for a nurse rather than a life partner.

It isn't about what your friends and relatives think, it's about what is best for you. However, they may have other problems with him, and be trying to use the "age card" to spare your feelings about "love is blind enough for you to love a jerk" stuff. Jerks come in all ages and styles... and people are sometimes too gentle in trying to warn their friends and loved ones about it.

Answer 3

If by mid-years, you mean older than 18, no problem. But if you're younger than 18, age differences are a big issue for many reasons, not the least of which are legal concerns.

But bottom-line, I try never to discriminate on a factor the other person can't control: Age, race, national origin, and so on.

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, and the content of a person's character is the real measure of their value.

Answer 4

My ex wife is 15 years older than me. Age has never been an issue. Friends joked about it time to time but she always fit in.We still go out and see each other. 20 years may be a little too much. I would rather stay in and around my age group next time.

Answer 5

I am 50 years young. There is NO WAY I would date someone that is 70 years old. That is just gross!

Answer 6

Not usually. But if I found someone that I truly loved and connected with, and they felt the same way, and weren;t just using me, then yes. Love is blind.

Answer 7

No way at all. All you have to do is walk forward a few years in your mind and you will see why.

Answer 8

How old is "Mid years" exactly?

Answer 9

i wouldn't i don't care that is very gross......it's like dating ur dad or something most ppl just do it for money so yeah......

Answer 10

Don't do it! ten years max.