i have a baby on the way and my 9 month old son and i dont think i can handle a nother one?

Question

me and my hubby have a 9 month old baby boy.and im 5 months into pregnetcy. its a boy and if hes anything like his older bro i dont think i can handle him

Answer 1

It'll be okay. I had two sons who were 18 months apart. (Oldest was 9 mos old when I got pregnant with his younger brother.) At about the point you are now, it hit me... "Oh no! How will I handle two like this!!??" I even worried that I might not love the new baby as much as my first one. My oldest was quite a challenge (probably because his mommy was a novice... lol). My husband and I took parenting classes right away. We loved the "Love & Logic" parenting tapes and approach... they are entertaining & helpful. Our favorite tape was "Helicopters, Drill Instructors and Consultants." It will at least give you confidence and a resource to turn to as well as a good laugh now and then.

I am happy to report that those hesitant feelings vanished as soon as I laid eyes on my second born. They are 17 and almost 16 now and I can honestly say I love them both to the same depth and with every fiber of my being.

What you are feeling is normal and it will pass. If you are really worried, seek out a trusted friend or a counselor to help you analyze your thoughts more clearly and work out a strategy.

Good luck!!

Answer 2

Sure you can. Sure there will be some trying times at first, but you will make it. I would highly recommend that you get your 9 month old on a routine now if he is not already on one. When setting up his routine, keep in mind what the new baby's needs will be and set it up accordingly. And you know that when the baby is born it will be able to adapt to the schedule that you have in place, within reason. For instance, you find that the baby's feeding schedule totally offsets the rest of the schedule, then feed the baby a little earlier than normal. I would suggest feeding 15 minutes early for 3-4 feedings until you get the baby's schedule more of a fit. But don't feed late or you will have one upset baby and that will really throw everything off balance. It'll work. Have faith and just relax and enjoy your two baby boys. Don't put too much stress on yourself. Two babies that young will be a challenge, but you will be able to do it and do it well. I'm sure you will.

Answer 3

Are we related?? :) My older son was 6 months old when I became pregnant with his little brother. They're 16 months apart in age. I won't lie...it's difficult. VERY difficult at first. Now they're 27 months and 11 months old, and starting to play together and keep each other occupied, so it's paying off. I think it's going to be even better when my younger one starts to walk (he's trying now). To make it even worse, my husband works nights, so that part is really difficult, especially on Saturday when he sleeps during the day. You WILL be able to handle this...you might not think you can at first, but you'll eventually get into your routine and things will even out, and in the end, I think you'll be like I am...glad I had them so close together. I often wonder how people who have a grade-school age child manage when they've been out of practice for so long...no diapers, no potty training, no bottles or baby food, sleeping all night. I never got out of practice!

Answer 4

You can it will just take some adjustment and this one could be completely opposite of his older brother. Trust me I know. I have four children 12 10 7 6 there is only 16 months between the last two and I freaked out. But the mommy thing kicks in gear and you good to go. Takes some time to adjust but you'll get it. Make sure you hubby helps and you get a bubble bath every once in awhile.

Answer 5

I know how you feel. I had one set of twins and then found out I was having another. I cried the whole way home wondering how we were going to make it. The truth is that things work out. I can gurantee that it will not always be easy or fun, but it is really worth it. This baby may have a completely different personality than you 9mo old. Its funny how different two kids can be. I thought that I would never be able to handle the twins (the 1st set) because I was scared they would be colicy like she was. Actually they were a lot easier (until they started walking lol). Don't worry and enjoy.

Answer 6

I had 3 in diapers at the same time. A single and a set of twins. I didn't think I could do it before they came. Sometimes I didn't think I could do it after they came! But as they have gotten older (3 yrs. & 18 mos.) it has gotten easier. When children are so close it IS hard when they are young, but you find you have more strength than you knew. Just make sure on the days that are really hard you have someone to confide in, someone to tell, and someone who can come & help out if needed. One of the many good things is that when they're older they will be interested in many of the same things at the same times because of they're close age. Close in age can be a great thing! Take courage. You'll make it through.

Answer 7

My husband and I are raising 2 grandchildren who are 10 months apart in age. We got the oldest one at 3 months old and didn't know that their mom, our daughter, was expecting another. We got her right from the hospital. I won't lie to you, it's hard at times, but it also is a lot of fun. Now they are 22 months and 32 months. They play together, they fight, they drive each other crazy. But when one is sick the other will try to make them feel better. I love it even though I am more tired at the end of the day than I have ever been before. So just take it one day at a time and enjoy it. It will be a blast after the initial shock wears off. Good Luck.

Answer 8

I am adopted myself and of course I think the answer for you would be adoption. You the mother is the only person that can know if you want or can handle another child, it doesn't make you a bad mother if you decide you can't handle him and give him up for adoption. Make a decision based on what is best for the child and not what is best for you. I thank God my biological mother gave me up for adoption and am very grateful that she gave me to a family that could take good care of me, I have NO hard feelings toward her for giving me up, it was truly a blesing. Good luck in any decision you make and I hope my story somehow can help you with a decision, a child is truly a gift, a miracle, and if you put him up for adoption or keep him just make sure he has a loving home no matter what.

Answer 9

You can handle things I won't tell you its easy but you can do it...You need to reserve some help from friends sisters mom grandma mother in law whom ever is willing. When you come home it will take adjusting to the new baby and you will need time to heal. My children are as different as night and day. This is your child and if you weren't ready then you needed to be more careful. There were days when I HAD to have help from others. My mother and sister helped TREMENDOUSLY I had a csection and an 11 month old baby can't very well get into bed or out by himself he needed to be put into a highchair which I couldn'd do either. Just take one day at a time and tell yourself this is temporary just as it was with the first. They grow quickly...You can handle them trust me I can...Good luck and have faith in yourself...

Answer 10

you can do it. I'm 24 and my two boys are 1 year 1 week and 1 day apart from each other and they are the best of friends(which is neat cause they are only 1 and 2 years old). I think if i can do it you can definitly do it. You and your husband have to do it together though, cause trust me if my fiance wasn't here with me I would have gone crazy a long time ago. If you still think you can't handle it though you can always give him up for adoption.