Why does my co-worker hate me?

Question

I just started a new job two weeks ago.Part-time for the first two weeks and then I will be full-time. My soon-to-be assistant is younger than me, rude, obnoxious and talks about me behind my back which I know about from other people. She tells me what I am doing wrong, how to do things and gives me dirty looks. Some days she doesn't even speak to me at all. I am going to be working with her the rest of the summer! What should I say or do? Why doesn't she like me?? I didn't even do anything ...I don't get it.

Answer 1

Bring her a little gift and tell her how excited you are to be meeting new people. If you are nice to her, she will feel and look completely stupid. I always say kill them with kindness!

Answer 2

She is probably jealous, insecure, and maybe thought she would be getting your job. She probably resents having to assist someone when she has been there longer. The best thing to do is just be completely professional and don't let her bait you into an argument or rivalry. Soon, she will look like an immature idiot to everyone else there because she is still angry and talking behind your back while you are polite and professional! Obviously the boss must have noticed that she had some kind of behavior like this in the past, if she is still an assistant instead of the one taking your position.

Answer 3

It may be an element of competition. Was she already there when you started work? A new person can sometimes intimidate someone already established, especially if the company "promotes from within." Or, it could easily be an underlying and obscure racial or religious grudge. I actually went through a series in workplace politics, motivated by race, but the weird thing is that the person was the same race as me! She was kind of a self-hating type of person, so she always condescended towards me, whenever addressing me. She would hold me to the littlest details, and so on... I just endured it, and eventually she moved on to another job. I get the impression that she regretted it, due to my passive reaction. Really, when someone puts your very livelihood on the line due to some silly grudge, it is really quite trivial and insanely immature on their part. I don't know how anyone can carry such a silly complex into the workplace and put someone's employment at stake. Crazy world we live in...

Answer 4

Sounds to me like she's jealous that someone from the outside was hired to take a position that she probably feels she deserves and to top it off she has to be YOUR assistant.

Once she becomes your assistant remember that YOU are the boss and she has to do what you say. When she tells you what to do nod your head and say thank you for the advice and do what you want to do. If she tells you again how to do the same thing, tell her This is how I do it. Eventually one of 4 things with happen:

1. She will get used to it and stop being so nasty
2. She will not get used to it and quit or request a transfer
3. She will continue being nasty and making your life so miserable that you quit

or

4. You will both learn to deal with it and become associates.

Have you thought about going to HR and discussing the problem? Obviously the company felt that there wasn't anyone within the company that could handle the position so they hired from the outside. Maybe you need to let HR deal with it. You could also tell HR what her attitude is like towards you and request a different assistant? There is a world of choices here for you. It's up to you though to make the one that you feel most comfortable with; but I recommend you NOT sit back and take her crap, it will just fester inside you until you explode.

Answer 5

You must have started your job out on the right foot. You are a aware of your surroundings . Most people in a working environment are somewhat rude and obnoxious, especially if you don't need their help much. The summer will soon be over, keep your head up and continue to smile.

Answer 6

Stop whining for god's sake!! Not everyone is going to like you. You're in the real world now; grow up. What do you care if your soon - to- be assistant gives you dirty looks? Develope a backbone why don't you? I'm assuming you're a female by the sniveling tone to your question. Do you want to succeed in your field? if so, then learn to do your job efficiently, professionally. If she has something to offer then learn from her-overlook her snotty little ***- for now. Then when you are in a position of authority call your subordinate into your office and counsel her on the 'inappropriatness' of her behavior and how it will no longer be tolerated in the office environment. By the way, I'm female; and I've never given a damn what any subordinate thought of me. However, I am always professional. Oh,and by the way, don't you dare do what any of these knuckleheads suggested; like bringing her in treats or taking her out for lunch. SHE WILL BE YOUR SUBORDINATE. SHE IS NOT, NOR SHOULD SHE BE, YOUR FRIEND. Smooze with your superiors. That's who you should care about impressing.

Answer 7

I think that is 3 possible things 1.- She is a trouble maker ,2.- She Is afraid that you are better, and maybe can be discover that is not a good employee, 3.-Repulsion for your own form of to be(you can change the character of her or your own) if this is the case you are in a big problem because you got many problems with this person "incompatibility") try to talk with her direct and try to know what´s on her mind and maybe if you have big problems for convivence talk with your manager about it ...

Answer 8

If she is YOUR ASSISTANT, then doesn't matter if she likes you.. Tell her to do her job, if she continues to be rude & obnoxious- then document the behavbior by speaking with her once (with your supervisor present ideally) then have her sign she has been orally warned. If it continues, give her written warning & 3 strikes she is out!
You have lost control - it is up to you to get it back & quickly = or her behavoir will only get worse.

Answer 9

Do you have firing power? If you do, you may need to take charge and let her know you're the boss, or she won't be working there long.

But your actual question was why she hates you. Jealousy. Sometimes when someone gets a promotion or comes in at a higher level, it causes this reaction in other people below them. It's a primary leadership skill to deal with this.

Answer 10

are you another girl? i thinking that it the typical "catty" jealousy that girls get. it is sad because i thought that women grew out of this and they dont. it still goes on. i even see it started in my daughter's age group, she is 9.
anyway the best thing is to ignore it and just be as professional as you can be. also another thing to keep in mind, is this job really worth it? you were looking for a job when you got this one. i mean really, if is a summer job, you can get another i am sure
good luck

Answer 11

Follow the chain of command. Speak to her about it first, find out what her problem is, if it was something you did. Maybe she's just a *****. If her behavior continues, speak to your supervisor, or hers. And if nothing happens after that, go up the chain of command. Sooner or later she will get spoken to.