We are at work and without asking if she can ask me something. She just starts talking about whats going on with her. I dont want to be rude. But I cant seem to tell her that she has too much drama in her life.
2006-06-30 11:25:24 · 14 answers · asked by FairyGirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you want her to stop talking to you about her life, you could keep your responses to a minimum, or don't respond at all. For example, after she tells you about her latest drama, you could respond with quick "hm" or slight, silent nod of the head (without turning to look at her), but keep focused on your work and look busy.
Putting on headphones is also an effective way to make yourself unavailable. For example, if she starts talking about herself, you can act as if you can't hear her since you have on headphones. She'll need to actually tap you on your shoulder if she wants your attention. And if she does that, you can resort to the method mentioned first.
Paying attention to her when she's talking your ear off about her drama only rewards and encourages her annoying behavior. Paying her no attention discourages that behavior. But you have to be consistent in paying her no attention. After a while, she'll bug you less and less.
The NY Times recently published a helpful article on this topic:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?ex=1151899200&en=40fdbd7ca7359dc5&ei=5070&emc=eta1
2006-06-30 11:50:26 · answer #1 · answered by Syd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and tell her. If she gets mad that is her problem. We all have some sort of drama in our life and I'm sure you don't need anymore in yours. Plus it probably brings you down to constantly her go on and on and on and on and on about nonsense. Why don't you make some drama for her and see how she feels. Just a thought anyways good luck
2006-06-30 11:35:38 · answer #2 · answered by NICOLE D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the only solution for this is to do the same thing with her that she is doing with you. Start complaining about your personal life to her. And eventually she'll understand. And even after that if she doesn't understands then tell some other people about her minor personal problems, and she will get offended and become understood that she shouldn't have told you about her problems and stop telling them.
2006-06-30 11:33:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're close enough to her, you COULD say exactly that -- but do it in a joking/teasing tone. The message gets through, but it isn't an attack.
If you're not, you can really only A)ignore her B) don't acknowledge or engage in the conversation C) change the subject every time she starts. OR, if you actually respond to her with pro-active ways to FIX all her problems in her personal life -- and nail her with them -- she may shut up because you're not placating her but going to PUSH her to fix it. If she wants her drama, she'll avoid you to avoid fixing it. If she DOES want it fixed - maybe she'll do it.
2006-06-30 11:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by Shadycat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truth is not rude. It's all in the tone.
Look at it as an unselfish act on your part. She will have a better life and draw better people into hers if she speaks positively and lightens up on the complaining. Help her. You have nothing to loose. She has something to gain.
2006-06-30 11:29:26 · answer #5 · answered by treeof knowledge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it just fine here. Don't be afraid of saying it to her. If that doesn't work, then when she starts talking to you, just rattle off a bunch of things about your own life, and then turn and leave. Don't say anything too personal. Good luck.
2006-06-30 11:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had that problem too. It became so bad, I went to my boss.
It was interfering with my job.
They moved her to another office.
Personal business is not for work unless someone really needs to talk and that is OK occasionally.
Continuously can get on your nerves.
You do not have to put up with it.
2006-06-30 11:30:01 · answer #7 · answered by cheeky chic 379 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be blunt and tell her your not very interested in hearing about her personal life or complain to your supervisor.
2006-06-30 11:29:03 · answer #8 · answered by Mom of 5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could try to avoid her. i have a co worker that complains about her work to everyone and her personal life too. i know how you feel, its not easy. i try to tell myself im here to work and not get involved with the other co workers,and it helps alittle
2006-06-30 11:31:31 · answer #9 · answered by pkuchick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start saying something that she don't want to hear. For example if she say something like...I Am crazy about him. You respond with .....I don't know why cause he just out right ugly. I bet you it'll work.
2006-06-30 11:30:05 · answer #10 · answered by roadrunner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋