What do you do if you think your husband drinks way too much?

Question

He's always out with his frined because I work late and I cant get into the club he goes to (my age). And when he comes home he's too drunk to have sex. He tells me he drinks so much because he's in the militery. We've been together for 5 years, but married for 7 months.

Answer 1

look let me tell u somthing. I am recovering. from that. I lost one of the most wonderful women in my life because of that but there's more....I realized I had a problem(as I hope 4 u he will to u.)and i got help detox,rehab for 21 days and followup. and have been sober ever since. But guess what I lost her.Because she didn't give me a chance so what I'm trying to say is please make him aware that you see a problem. Once you get there and he gets help follow through with him as long as he stays clean. aa sometimes is bullshit and we sometimes wanna drink after going to those meetings. If he truly loves you he will accept his problem and address it and stay clean. 1st of all for him and then 4 u. Ill pray 4 u as i am changed now for 6 years and still want her back but she won't give me the chance and im still sober making 50 grand a yr.but if he says the military stresses him out and he drinks then he needs help expecially if he loves you . oh by the way sir thank you for serving FREEDOM and Bushes war No wonder why your stressed. Please let him read this as I hope to be of some help.

Answer 2

My husband of 5 yrs is also in the miitary. He used to drink a lot, but not going out every night without me. He would drink at home mostly. But now he's stopped. He tells me it was an escape, but that doesn't sound very nice. If your husband wants to "escape" that means he's not happy with his life. I'd be worried if he didn't want you to come if you were able to come. Try and get him to drink more at home, it's cheaper anyway. At the bar there's always the chance he'll meet another woman, he likely gets hit on a lot if he's at all attractive. He'll be tempted, so try and prevent the temptation by keeping him home! Don't give him ultimatums though, that will backfire. You have to be a little sneaky and a lot smooth. Cuddle up to him, flirt with him, and whisper in his ear that if he's home when you get home from work he might have a naughty surprise waiting for him! Get him to stock the fridge with his favorite beverage too. And when the time is right have a talk about finances and how his bar tabs are getting a little out of hand--isn't there something really cool you'd both like to save for?

Answer 3

He drinks too much because he was in the military??? Well...that's a new excuse for alcoholics. Just what kind of club does he go to that you can't get into because of your age?
Too drunk to have sex is definetly a problem. On his end. Best start planning to remove yourself from this marraige but pronto girlie! If not you'll be doomed to a miserable exisistance. Hurry before you have kids.

Although if hes too drunk to have sex I guess it isn't a concern.

Answer 4

I dated a Navy guy once for a year. They all drink too much. And they never seem to learn their lesson when they black out and do something really stupid. Hopefully you don't have kids yet. There are a couple things you might be able to do.
-restrict his spending money
-go to couples therapy and hopefully get him to see how much it is hurting you and your relationship
-be sneaky and get him back. one night when you are sure he's blacked out, do something to make it seem like he did something terrible. Park his car a couple blocks away and told him he drove to 7-11 but then walked back. Or hide his favorite possesion and say he broke it. Or worse, hide yours, and cry and maybe he will see that it hurts you when he drinks. I had a friend that once gave herself a black eye and told her boyfriend he did it to teach him a lesson. Thats a little extreme and I wouldn't recommend it, but he never drank a drop again. I also had a friend that threatened to take the kids and move to the UK and never let him see his kids again. He also stopped drinking. This route is a little immature, but sometimes you run out of other options.
Basically, you just need to open his eyes and get him to realize that what he is doing hurts his health, your relationship, and your feelings.

Answer 5

Try to get him to not drink as much, or not drink at all for a length of time (three months). Make sure he knows you mean buisness, as in you're wondering if you should leave him in the dust. If he can't do that, and he won't get professional help, then it's just going to get worse and harder to move on.
His habit is expensive for your budget and for your marriage.
He should be partying with you at home.

Answer 6

geez. good luck.
I hope somehow he gets his bells rung and wakes up before he destroys you. My mother in law was married to an alcoholic and cleptomaniac for most of her life. The guy acted like he changed several times, but lately he just couln't keep from being himself anymore and he's been cheating and messing around and stealing stuff, so she divorced him. Sad that she wasted her life with him.

Answer 7

Military men, cops, firefighters are all notorious drunks. Im a lush so Im not judging but when one person in a relationship drinks and the other doesn't, its a bad situation.

Answer 8

You already know the problems this is causing. He isn't willing to admit he has a problem and is making excuses instead of trying to make things better. Leave, and if he still won't get his act together, make that leave a permanent one.

Answer 9

I think if I were you I would get divorced. No point in dragging out this whole mess. He is a loser.
What kind of man would go out somewhere his wife cant be with him?

Answer 10

You confront him about it but do it when he's sober and you refer him to A.A. which stands for alcoholics anonymous and they have a web site to find meetings in your area.
www.alcoholicsanonymous.com I'm not sure I spelled alcoholics correct but they can help him if he's open minded to the help!