i need some advice on whether i should have a friends with benfits with my guy friend ?? i dont think he wants to be in a realationship but he told me that he wants friends with benfits?i dont want to get hurt cause i like him .i dont want to say no cause he then might get mad .i just dont want to get attached ?how can i tell him how i feel?he said that he thought i was cute and everything but didnt say why he didnt want a realationship ? please can somebody give me some helpful advice.
2006-06-30 11:06:06 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Don't fall for the crap he's dishing out. Unless BOTH parties want that "FWB" BS, then keep steppin'. Him telling you that "you're cute" is not any kind of commitment. Haven't you learned by now that men will say anything to get into your pants???? (Men, am I right?)
What you describe would be an imbalanced relationship, where he gets everything he wants and you get nothing that you want except his company. Even then, the control is in his hands. Sweetheart, no doubt, you deserve so much more than that!
Girlfriend, I'm giving you the advice I'd give my own sister or that I'd want somebody to give me: Keep walking and eventually you will meet the ideal person for you. In an ideal situation, both parties are thrilled to be with each other. Both parties feel lucky. And both parties derive benefit from the relationship. Until you have that, don't settle for one drop less than what you deserve!!!!!
C'mon, now. Like rkrell and summersun both told you in your other incarnations of this question, "Don't do it." Plus, please don't keep asking the question until you get the answer you want to hear. Listen to the sound advice you're getting from the majority of those who answer you. Okay?
2006-06-30 11:14:18 · answer #1 · answered by Ancespiration 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you lost your common sense? What possible benefit can you gain from someone who would use your body without any regard to your emotional well being? What is a friend with benefits except someone you can use, when no one else better is available at the moment? You already know what you want to do, and you know in the end you will end up hurt. Women as a general rule can not have casual sex, but if you are afraid of offending him because your view differs from his, then you might as well walk around with a sign on you that says, I have NO Self Respect and am available as a receptacle for anyone I deem as CUTE.
Grow up! Offend the Jerk, have some SELF PRIDE and find someone who will at least lie to you!
2006-06-30 13:09:51 · answer #2 · answered by pacbellgal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you want to continue just being friends, your relationship will change if you cross that line. Sounds like he just wants some, maybe you do too. But be warned he already told you it won't go anywhere. If that's what you're looking for too, then go for it. If not, then don't, and tell him why. If he gets mad and storms off, that's probably all he was after in the first place. It's hard to remain emotionally detached when you get as intimate as that is. He might have other 'friends' too, so use protection. Only you can decide.
2006-06-30 11:12:29 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't worry about him getting mad if you say no. If he really likes you and cares about you then he will respect how you feel. If he gets mad or upset then all he wants you for is the sex and you haven't really lost out on anything. The only way you really get hurt is if you go along with his friends with benefits idea, because you will become attached and you won't be able to deal with the fact he will be sleeping with other women and looking for someone else to be in a real relationship with.
2006-06-30 11:17:11 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is that you sit down with him and explain that you are not really comfortable with this idea. You can still be the friends you've een, but let him know that you want more than a physical relationship with someone. And ask him what his reasons are for wanting this kind of relationship versus being a true couple. I guess then you need to make the best choice based on what he says, my advice is to trust in your own values, having a sexual relationship with someone without truly having the desire to do so you will always be unsure about it. It's not fair to yourself or him unless you truly wish to.
I hope this helps you
2006-07-02 07:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by swordsmanoflight21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as friends with benefits....he just wants to screw you (around). Someone will get hurt in the process and that someone will undoubtedly be you. He has been honest and told you that he doesn't want a relationship he just wants to have sex with a friend. Sex doesn't happen between friends, sex happens between lovers. Keep it safe and stay out of this guys bed...he doesn't want the confines and commitments that accompany a relationship. This would not make you happy by simply having sex with him, eventually you would want more and he doesn't have more to give. Do yourself a favor and tell him to catch the next bus...they come along every fifteen minutes.
2006-06-30 11:25:41 · answer #6 · answered by gmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell by the way you wrote you are going to get hurt. Don't let him make you feel guilty, if he gets upset, he will get over it faster than you will. The fact that you took the time to seek out advice about the situation shows that you are probably a lot more mature than he is. Do you think he's worrying about hurting your feeling or do you think he justs wants some booty to fall back on?
2006-06-30 11:12:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl u need to get a grip on ur self. If u really care for the guy and should be able to talk to him about anything with trust between the 2 of u, nothing should stand in ur way ..So if u love him go to his heart with truth and honesty and throw in the love and u will go to happy ending.
2006-06-30 11:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh well I wouldn't be friends with benefits for sure. That's really just playin games with your heart. You should tell him how you feel, because if he is a true friend he'll understand, but if you wait then wanna change it in the future because of whatever reasons...it will probably alot harder..and end the friendship!!Go with what your heart tells you**<33 G/L
2006-06-30 11:10:57 · answer #9 · answered by Brittany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I asked the I-Ching if you could have a romantic relationship with him. The answer was hexagram 39 line 3. You probably can't have a romantic relationship with him. Tell him thanks so much for the friends-with-benefits offer but you don't want to risk getting hurt and you want to stay friends with him.
2006-07-01 16:46:50 · answer #10 · answered by David 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋