I think about sex when Im away from home but when I get to my husband at home the feeling disappears. Why?

Answer 1

This is probably because when you come home your are instantly distracted by things you need to do and a list of responsibilities. This essentially destroys the fantasy in your head which requires immediate action. You drive up to the house and instead of immediately going for sex you probably fall into a small routine that you do almost every day as soon as you get home. Want to change this pattern? Then you have to stay in the mood by keeping in touch with your sexual desire...start removing clothes before you get home, try a little self stimulation on the way home, once at home focus on what you want and making it happen, get the clothes off, set the mood if needed, make the time about you and your husband and sex. If you can't do this and you have a routine you need to follow then put things on hold till your routine for the evening is done then find an activity to put you back in the mood you were in earlier. This will vary depending upon what stimulates you. It could be a shower, putting on certain clothes, watching a sexy movie, reading a naughty book, or hanging out on a web site such as anywebcam.com.

Answer 2

I could be wrong here, because I don't know you, but I wonder if you might have a fear of intimacy.

It might be thaht on an unconscious level, there is something frightening about sexual intimacy. In fantasies, you are safe, and can feel turned on, knowing that your husband is at home.

You might also associate home with what you SHOULD be doing as a good girl, and away from home you can be more free and fantasise.

You don't say if you think about sex with your husband......if you do, then I think my hunch is right. If your fantasies are not at all about your husband, then it might be that you don't fancy him as much any more. This often happens over time, but you can re-kindle the flame.

Rkell's answer is great - follow her advice to get back in touch with the sexy feelings when you are at home.

Ig this doesn't work, you might want to explore the underlying feelings more - there are lots of books about fear of intimacy, or perhaps some confidential counselling.

It is a very positive sign that you do think about sex - all you have to do is give yourself permission to think about sex when you get home too!

Answer 3

Fantasy! And when is the best time to fantasize? Away from home, ... away from every day life. You are more relaxed, and not concentrating on the drudge of everyday routines. If we could learn to get past our inhibition we could possibly live in the "honey-moon stage of life blissfully! The key to this is mentally prep yourself for your arrival back home. Maybe you should talk to your husband and basically let him know the things that "would" distract you from a very sexual evening with him. Example, the house tidy, no dishes in the sink, the bed made, light some great smelling candles, and as far as he goes, groomed and bathed, with his sexiest smelling cologne on. To keep you in the mood, continue your mental fantasy, right up to your arrival home. If you want, stop and get wine and flowers, or whatever it might take, do it! We have to have great imaginations and mood enhancers to distract us from normal life things getting in our way. And by communicating with your husband and letting him know what he could be in store for, might get his creative oils burning, and no telling what tricks he might have in store for the two of you. "Sweet, sexy, "dreams" to the both of you"!

Answer 4

Because it's the thing you know. The same thing day in and day out gets boring fast. You and your husband need to talk and make a plan about how to liven things up at home again. It should be just as serious as planning what color to paint your house, setting up a retirement fund, or what kind of car to buy. It's your marriage and it's what you make it.....unless you don't want it anymore.

Answer 5

Maybe your just tired from being at work by the time you get home your not interested anymore - it happens to the best of us. Also, it sounds like maybe your husband doesn't appeal to you anymore - maybe Marriage Counceling would be a good option.

Answer 6

Because your husband represents the cold hard truth of day to day reality. And when you are away you awash in a rich fantasy life which goes poof as soon as you walk in the door.

Answer 7

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Ever heard of that saying? I don't think it's because you want to cheat, it's the whole feeling of wanting something you can't get at the moment. But once you have it, it's no longer a challenge. Totally understood, I get through those phases too.

Answer 8

It's because you're married. (j/k) People change, sometimes people fall out of love as easily as they fall into it. Maybe him or both of you aren't doing anything to spice things up. Maybe he's waiting for you to make the first move. Are you thinking about being with someone else? Lots of possibilities.

Answer 9

let me guess, he's a couch potato with a beer in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other and he uses the tv remote with his toes. He just gained 100 lbs and the thought of being crushed to death has a certain negative effect on your "feelings"
.. I hope I'm wrong.

Answer 10

The hype is building all day long....and your imagination. When you get home, the reality hits you, as well as 29 other things that probably need doing when you get home.