emotionally abused or is it all in my head ?when I was a kid my father was drinking all the time?

Question

was very explousive, shouted , hit me with a belt. later he went through a certain treatment, since then hadn't drank. when I was 15 my mom's cheated on him, he found out, went to me with evidence, told me about it, started to cry, just collapsed, grabed my hand, started to cry into it, I think I just shut down then , you know?.one morning, me and dad were home, I woke up, he wasn't there, there was a letter on a desk, five pages, saying he went to kill himself, five pages of all of it.I fricked.an hour later he came back, said he doesn't feel well, then I lived with grandparents.grandfather was over protective, never let me go out with friends, like after 6, as soon as it got dark, depends on a season, just shut the door. when I did go out, used to follow me around as much as he could, always waiting for me outside after some indoor event, I was 16,.I had an eating disorder, I was obised,and he was always nagging me to eat junk food, basicly forcing me, saying I was too skiny.so?

Answer 1

Partially abused - but - lots of us have gone through the same thing growing up - I think it's something you'll just have to deal with and not dwell on - good luck to you. But, your dad does sound like kind of a weird-o (no offense). But don't dwell on it - just try and forget and move on. And as far as him saying you had an eating disorder - don't even dwell on that - he's insecure with himself and put's his insecurities on other people - and you were the target - so just move on and try and forget the bad times and try and remember the good times.

Answer 2

Sounds like what you went through is definitely emotional abuse.
When adults bring there problems into a child's life it can be detrimental to them, long term. Do I think it is a terrible thing to do to you children, YES. Do I think you can move pass this and learn from it, YES. Let's face it, sure you got a shi$$y deal, and it really did cost you a big part of your childhood, but do you really want it to effect the rest of your life? I'm sure you don't, so whats the next step? Counseling? you probably feel like you wouldn't know where to start. That's what counselors are for, they can bring you to a point that you can free yourself from all the pains that you dealt with in your past and teach you how to look forward to you future. In a nutshell, you have to let go of "other peoples sh$$", in order to preserve yourself.

Answer 3

Yes, you were emtionally abuse. And, according to your story, you were physically abused as well. Your dad was apparently an alcoholic, and it's commendable that he got himself some help. Sounds like he should have gone a step further,though, and gotten involved in AA. Their 12 step programe really can help a drunk put his life back into perspective. It also sounds like you were emotionally abuse by you grandfather (emotional abuse doesn't have to involve shouting and threats and degredation) by way of his sheltering you and following you around. It conveys the message that you're incapable of making intelegent choices for yourself. Go see a therapist.

Answer 4

It's not in your head. The details you listed are bound to cause pain in anyone. What makes each of us different is what we do with that pain.

First of all, never underestimate the importance of having someone to talk to. Talking this out can be like releasing a pressure valve.

Second, don't discount the benefit of professional help. There are lots of quacks in this world; find someone who "gets you".

Third, NEVER- and I mean NEVER let anyone make you feel like you're something you're not. This is your world.

I would say good luck, but you don't need it.

Answer 5

Obviously you have some deep seated problems stemming from your childhood, and I think you need more thorough counseling than what you would be able to obtain on this forum. I think it would be good for you to contact someone who is professional in this area and get the help you need. Look in the phone book for Community Mental Health and I am sure they can steer you in the right direction. Whatever you decide I wish you good luck and good health.

Answer 6

I would say that would be a yes. Good luck, the best advice that I can give you is that your in charge of your life now, stick by your guns, make your own decision, and it doesn't make you weak to ask for help.

Answer 7

Yikes you need counseling to deal with all that. I know, I grew up with alcoholics too, you have to grow up way before your time. Protect yourself, get some help and don't let him mess you up too. Talk to your doctor or clergy to start. Good luck.

Answer 8

g/f Dr Phil couldn't sort you out.......you best find a good counsellor now cause you need it! Go now work through the crap and get it all out so that you can have a great future....without the baggage!

Answer 9

this is trauma with a capitol t , youve suffered enough if you can seek proffesional help do it . youve got a good start by looking for help here but you deserve a pro hope your life is better now .

Answer 10

i think you were abused emotionally and you need help now! dont wait, talk to someone at school or at your church. you need to deal with these issues before you move on in life and have a relationship with anyone, or have kids you dont want your kids to have it or go thru it because you will pass it on and you need to be cured or to be at least seeking someone help. you need to address these issues and deal with them. good luck.