Why do i feel like my husband deserves better than me? He tells me daily that i am perfect in every way and that i am forever his. He works 6 days a week and thats not counting the time at home he works. He provides for me and his daughter to the fullest. We never go without anything. He does so much i feel like i dont do enough. I mean i keep the house clean and laundry done and the dinner on the table. I d love to be able to work and help with the bills but he said he doesnt want me to work.He tells me i am awesome. What am i doing that is so good. I feel like i am inadequate in the relationship. Any ideas? Is there more i could be doing.. he says i please him in every way possible. I dont feel like i give enough...what do u think? Thank you please b serious; )
2006-06-30 10:42:28 · 20 answers · asked by silki_one 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are in a situation that a lot of women yearn for. They have to work to make ends meet.
You ask what it is that is so perfect. You take care of everything so he does not have to worry about it. That let's him concentrate on his work. You sound to me like the perfect wife.
If he tells you you are then you are keeping him happy in every way. This means all of the above and keeping him happy in the bedroom too.
You have no idea how valuable all of that is to a man.
Are you sure the problem is that you feel inadequate or do you feel you would like to be doing more. Like working to give you an outlet for your creative side. If that is it then the problem is not at all where you want to put it.
Clearly he is very happy with you just like you are. You on the other hand are not so happy. Is it because you feel you need to be doing something that is not part of being a housewife. Something that will give you enjoyment and perhaps a challenge?
He thinks that he is doing right by you by not making you work. What do you think.
Don't look to him. Look to yourself. What would make you happy?
From his viewpoint you are perfect in everything you do. Believe him. But do what ever you have to do to make you happy. If working around the house is not enough look for ways to do more.
2006-06-30 11:01:57 · answer #1 · answered by John B 5 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I always wanted my wife to at least work part time so that she wouldn't feel like you do. But that was before we had kids, then I felt like your husband, because I know, and obviously he does too, that parenting, plus the housekeeping, laundry, dinner on the table is almost too much for anyone person. It's more than a full time job. If I were you, I'd except the fact that you are doing something right, and you are very special to him. He wants you to do exactly what you are doing, and he very much appreciates it. I'm thinking something he missed as a child is something you are providing for him now. Good luck, and have a great life. Ron
2006-06-30 17:51:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP RIGHT NOW AND GET COUNSELLING! Why do you feel this way despite all the things he does for you and your daughter? First, don't even let divorce get into your head. Second, stand back and look at the big picture. Do you know how many women would kill for a man that takes care of his business like your man? You do your part and he does his. It's called MARRIAGE. Your guilt and inadequacy is stemming from your self value. You think you NEED to do more but do you? The answer is no. These are mood swings and you need to be careful with them b/c you can do some damage with them. They become a disorder. Nip this in the bud.
2006-06-30 17:52:12 · answer #3 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm married for 7 years. As a man, all we want is a clean house, kids who are behaving, and a good meal. Don't bug him when he is watching TV, or doing whatever his hobby might be. Throw in a little sex every once in a while, and you will have a happy hubby. It sounds like you are doing a great job. Don't stress, enjoy what you have.
I get home only 5 days a month, and as long as my wife does the things I listed above, I do not mind working hard to keep her happy. Don't feel guilty about his working so hard, just make him feel comfortable and appreciated.
2006-06-30 17:56:18 · answer #4 · answered by Shawn H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I say that you are doing fine. It seams to me that a lot of people forget that being a mom/wife is a full time job. If you're hubby doesn't mind, then stop selling yourself and what you do short.
If the only reason you want to work is to help pay the bills. If there is another reason you want to work, this may not apply.
2006-06-30 17:48:08 · answer #5 · answered by flyboy_447 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should feel proud of yourself and you should accepot the fact that your husband is really happy with you. The reason why not many good things happen to some people in their lives is because they don't belive it's possible. Keep up the good work and enjoy the results.
2006-06-30 17:46:52 · answer #6 · answered by Charlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a husband that believes firmly in the phrase "Man love your woman as Christ loved the Church." I work hard as well. My wife works, but if she didn't then it's fine. She does things for me that I appreciate greatly. And that's what it's about.
The things you do alleviate any stress that could be brought on. When he gets home, he sees that the house is in order. You give him that. You have his heart, and he has yours. What's not perfect about that?
Stop questioning yourself and bask in the fact that you have a blissful marriage.
2006-06-30 19:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound to me that you are too hard on yourself - self critical. And I have to ask why this question is for married men??? It seems like you are really fishing for compliments to boost your own esteem...? I could be reading you totally wrong - but that's how I see it.
Try calling a counsellor, get a little professional feedback - couldn't hurt. You are obviously not as happy as you could/should be!!
2006-07-01 00:05:17 · answer #8 · answered by t'kit ez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from a married woman.... what in the hell are you complaining about? every woman wishes her husband would still do those lil things. yours does and you still bitchin. get over it. your a great wife im sure so sit back and enjoy the compliments. be glad that your husband hasnt taken your relationship for granted like most men do.
2006-06-30 17:45:53 · answer #9 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby girl, what you're doing is fine. making him happy by being a house wife and that's all he wants. if he's struggling with finance than yes, you need to step in and help out. but there is nothing to be pitty of. but the really question is, are you happy?
2006-06-30 17:46:51 · answer #10 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋