My husband cheated on me while he was at a 10-week-long school 2000 miles away from home. He swears they were just friends. But she was a secret--he never told me about her. Then one night he goes to her room to watch a movie--she comes on to him and they have sex. Just penis in vagina. Then they continue to be just friends and a couple weeks later, a group of them went to the big city to go bar hopping, between 5 guys and this one girl there were 2 hotel rooms. When my husband and this woman get back to the hotel the only bed space available is the pullout couch so they get in bed together and go to sleep. In the morning he wakes up horny, pulls her pants down, puts on condom and sticks it in her.
He's talked to her a few times since he's been home b/c he swears they were "friends"
Q: Can a married man, in love with his wife, be friends with a woman, **** her, yet not be attracted to her or have any romantic feelings for or sexual chemisty with her?
2006-06-30 10:22:17 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was dumb. I was very naive b/c I trusted him when I shouldn't have.
But I do love him and we have 5 yrs of marriage under our belts. I can tell through our discussions that he sincerely wants to change his ways, he says he loves me, never wants to leave me, will never do it again. And it's because God is changing him, he knows he can't do it on his own. However, I'm asking b/c it would be far easier to forgive him if they really were just friends and he had no sexual chemistry with her, did not have emotional feelings for her, etc.
2006-06-30 10:37:09 · update #1
In all honesty yes a man can have sex with a woman just for sex, but it is still cheating and any loving husband who takes his vows seriously would have just gone to the bathroom and yanked it in the shower like all the other husbands that wake up horny.
Also he had to have sexual chemistry with her or else he would not have fu@ked her. I'd get him tested anyway he may not ahve put on a condom and just put it in but he told you he did.
Also, if you tolerate this now he will only continue to do it. If you are ok with him screwing random girls that is up to you,but my wife would not tolerate it and I'd find my a$$ on the curb and watch helplessly as she burned every belonging I had.
Sex is just sex when you are young, but when you are married it's a sacred act between a husband and wife an expression of your love for one another, not just penis in vagina.
2006-06-30 10:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by cisco_cantu 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a man I can say yes, we do not need to have feelings, but any truly in love respecting man would not cheat. And that is what he did, he cheated. And since it happened more than once, it won't change. Things like this just get easier to do, not harder. Plus, as long as he thinks you won't leave, he will feel he can do as he pleases. He will tell you what ever you want to hear, it's a guy thing, to keep you.
Leave him and move on.
2006-06-30 17:56:16 · answer #2 · answered by wn_all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actuallyit is very difficult for the men to adjust who used to **** around before married. Give him a bit of time and also cautioned him to not to meet that woman or other women in future if he really loves u. If he is sensible then he will leave everything and will remain with u otherwise it is better to leave that type of person.
2006-06-30 17:30:06 · answer #3 · answered by ayub b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, I could MAYBE see forgiving a one night stand (probably still wouldn't), but if you know that he went back for seconds (or maybe more), then yeah, he knows that she's an easy hookup. If they are ever together again, he will screw her. I guess if you like getting emotionally stepped on, stay with him. ;)
2006-06-30 17:35:36 · answer #4 · answered by inaccord18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, for men we don't need any romantic feelings or chemistry. Sometimes we just need to pop one off inside of a girl.
2006-06-30 17:25:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with this guy???? Have some respect for yourself because he sure doesn't have any for YOU. Just because he confesses to it doesn't make it "OK".
2006-06-30 17:31:29 · answer #6 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats BS leave him he a cheater
2006-06-30 17:26:33 · answer #7 · answered by catfan99 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you that dumb ? Seriously are you that gullable ?
2006-06-30 17:32:12 · answer #8 · answered by decided27m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FILE FOR DIVORCE- or Fu@k his best friend!!!!!!!
He's a Bast$%d
2006-06-30 17:31:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will do it again
2006-07-01 04:21:41 · answer #10 · answered by cowboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋