Should I get preg. before my husband gets deployed?

Question

I want to but then I don't want to.

I do and don't want to but I'm afraid something is going to happen to him and never have a chance to have a kid with him...

Being a single parent doesn't scare me... My mom did it, My Mother in law did it... and I have tons of support... I can do it...

Being a single parent doesn't scare me... My mom did it, My Mother in law did it... and I have tons of support...

Answer 1

I think your answer to this question relies heavily on what kind of support system you have there. What if you have complications and get put on bed rest? Do you have people who can help you? Secondly, were you planning on having a baby regardless or is this just to ensure you will have one if something happens to him? Make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Another idea. I realize it is a long shot but why not wait and try getting pregnant while he is home on midtour? All in all think of it this way, if you do this and something does happen to him, will you be thankful you have his child or regretful because you have a child to take care of when you really weren't ready. I know these are tough decisions to make but I just made them myself about 6 months ago. my personal decision was to wait. I rationalized that he could get killed here at home in a car wreck at any time and I wasn't willing to have a child right now just to make sure I had one. We also made the decision that he doesn't want to miss out on hearing the heartbeat, the sonogram, feeling the baby kick, or the birth. Contact me if you want to bounce ideas off of me.

Answer 2

When my husband was being deployed we really wanted a baby very badly and we tried, but we didn't get pregnant.

If you are ready for a baby then I would say do it, but I do want to give you a few things to think about, since I've been through this:

1) If you do decide to get pregnant, but you are unsuccessful & he leaves, it can be even more devastating b/c you know that you're not only saying goodbye to your husband, but your chance of getting pregnant

2) When my husband came home for two weeks of R&R in the middle of the deployment, we did get pregnant, but 3 months later I lost the baby, it has been SO HARD dealing with the miscarriage on my own, would you be able to handle that if it happened to you?

3) If you are able to get pregnant and everything goes well, will he be home by the time the baby is born? If not, are you ready to take care of a newborn alone?

4) It's also really hard to be pregnant without your husband, sometimes your muscles are tired, and you need a massage, but you are all alone, or you are too exhausted to make yourself dinner, but you have to b/c you are the only one there, also, sometimes you need someone to hold your hair back for you.

5) It can be really hard on him to miss out on your pregnancy

Anyway, those are just some things to think about. If this is something you are really ready for now, I hope I haven't scared you away. I know that if I was faced with that decision again then I would make the same choice I did and try to conceive. But, don't make a huge decision like that motivated by fear. Your husband will come home to you safely. Good luck!

Answer 3

shoud you get pregnant before your husband deploy es. no and the reason for me say in that is because if you have a baby Will your husband be there when it is born,that's the big question, you see it is very important that your husband be there when your child is born for the mire reason of when a baby is first born the first few days of its life it starts to learn it catches on to who its mommy is and who its daddy is its doesn't know anything except that your the ones that re taking car of it. another question is when will he be back if you had the baby to marrow and your husband was already deployed of course with him being in the army you can never have an exact time of when he will be back if he is gone for to long will the baby recognize him if the child didn't would it hurt your husband the child might not no him yes it would be his child but to the baby he wouldn't be anyone but another person yes you could teach and help the bay adapt to your husband being in its environment but how long will that take. i feel it is better that both parents be there when the child is born and in the first days,months,and early years in its life,it is important to the parents and the child in the long run.

Answer 4

I've been deployed before and it's not easy for either of you to be pregnant while he's deployed. It's hard for him to keep his mind on the task at hand when your preg. back home. He will tend to focus more on his son/daughter he will not see until the babies like 4 or 6 months old. It's hard for you because you will have to deal with being preg. and take over all the household chores he use to do when he was there. I would wait until he gets back. That way you guys can enjoy all the moments that the pregnacy has to offer together.

Answer 5

If my fiance was getting deployed YES I would try as hard as I can to get pregnant, I love my fiance so much, god forbid if anything ever happened to him I would want that little baby so that I could alway's no matter what have a part of him with me for the rest of my life, and the creation of life is the best feeling between two people who really love each other. I would. When he come's home that feeling of specialness between you two and the life you have created together would probably be remembered forever!! It's like the best high ever and free and non addicting.

Answer 6

Wow, that is a really tough question to answer. There are a few things to ponder which I am sure you have already done:

First of all, do the two of you have any children together already? Second, are you ready to take on the responsibility of a pregnancy and subsequent delivery, and sadly--possibly parenthood by yourself? Or, are you willing to have him miss out on the birth of his child, if he was to not make it home in time?

On the other hand, are you willing to miss out on the opportunity to bear a child that would carry on his name in the event that something happened. For instance, a friend of ours' best friend from high school returned home a few months back with a rather bizarre injury. He was hit by shrapnel between the legs, and needless to say, won't be producing any offspring. You just never know.

I would say, follow your hearts and do what you think you are ready to do--regardless of his deployment status. Trying to get pregnant can make the achievement less pleasurable BTW--so if you do decide to, just go the route of "not preventing it." ;)

Good Luck and Blessings to him and you for his service to our country!

Answer 7

If there's still a part of you that doesn't want to get pregnant, you'd better wait. Having an absent husband can put a lot of stress on you, and chronic stress would not be good for the baby. Good luck when you do decide. You'll know when the time is right.

Answer 8

No do not get pregnant for that reason it would be foolish of you to do that.

You must learn to patient and trust. When the time is ready for you and your husband to have children then you can start your family in your Home, but right now is not the time.
1. Suppose you get pregnant by choice because of his deployment and he doesn't come back from deployment God forbid, you will have too raise a child without a father. Don't be stupid lady, think smart.
Patience is virtue.

Answer 9

I have to agree, you need to be able to provide the most stable environment possible for a child. I know it is hard because something may happen to your husband and you would see a child as part of him. But, I am sure that you would have many other things to remember him by if the worst did happen, and they would not need for 100% of their care.

Think positively and meditate about your husband's safe return so that the two of you may start your family then.

Answer 10

Im my opinion it may not be the best thing to do. Theres two ways to look at it, you want to since hes going to be away for some time, but the hardships of a child can be overbaring and you may want the support of your partner not only for your sake but for the child as well. So I think waiting till he gets back it the better road to take in your situation.