Please Amuse me!?

Question

I am soooooooo bored and restless, but I don't know why or what for... will someone please amuse me?

LMAO x 200! ! ! You guys are too funny...

Answer 1

OK,here goes....this young girl wanted to walk her dog but,her mother said no because the dog was in heat,what is in heat mean the girl asked
go ask your father,the mother said,he is in the garage.
so the girl ask her father about walking the dog and said that mother said no because dutches was in heat.
the father took a clothe with gasoline on it ,rubbed it on the dogs bottom to disuse the scent and told her that she may walk the dog around the block only once.
ten minutes later,the daughter came back with only the leash and collar in hand,where asked the father is dutches?
the little girl replied...she ran out of gas half way around the block but,there is another dog pushing her home now.

Answer 2

a sexy pam anderson look a like blond from texas walks into a las vegas casino. she slaps down $20,000 on a single roll of the dice, which is a very stupid thing to do. the dealers hand her the dice, and giggling to them she says,
"i hope you boys don't mind, but i feel luckier when i'm naked."
so she slips out of her clothes, taking her time so that the dealers get a good luck at her goodies.
she begins to roll the dice, her junk just a jiggling for all that their worth.
"c'mon baby, mama needs some new clothes!!" she says as throws the dice, the whole time the dealers eyes are on the woman's chest.
suddenly she squeals in delight, jummping up and down, jiggling everything she's got screaming,
"i've won, i've won!! yea!!"
she quickly gathers up her clothes and winnings, gives the 2 dealers a hug a quick kiss on the cheek and runs off with her money.
after she's gone and the dealers come back down to earth, one looks at the other and says,
"bob, did you see what she rolled?"
"no, jack", the other dealer said. "i thought you were watching."
the moral of the story -not all blondes are stupid, neither are all texans, but men will always be men!!

Answer 3

Okay, here's a joke I know ...

There was a poor man and a rich man that were very good friends, and both of their wedding anniversaries were on the same day. So the rich man and the poor man were sitting together on a park bench talking about what they got their wives for their anniversaries. The poor man asked the rich man what he got his wife for their anniversary. He said he got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes. The poor man asked why he got her both. The rich man said "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, she can take it back, have the Mercedes and still be happy." So then the rich man asked the poor man what he got his wife for their anniversary. He said he got her a pair of slippers and a dildo. The rich man asked what he got her a pair of slippers and a dildo for. So he said "If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fu*k herself."

Answer 4

Theres this tiny little old lady in an elevator. A tall, rich, snooty woman gets on, the little old lady looks up at her and smiles. The snooty woman looks her up and down and says "Chanel no 5, $100 an ounce(or however much it costs)" Next floor another rich, snooty lady gets on and the little old lady looks up and smiles sweetly. The new lady looks her up and down, looks at the other rich lady and says "Dior, $200 an ounce(again, or however much it costs)". They turn their noses up at each other and the little old lady smiles sweetly. Next floor the little old lady is exiting the elevator, just after she steps off, she pokes her butt into the elevator and rips a big fart, turns and says " Broccoli, 68 cents a pound" and smiles sweetly.

Answer 5

Q:what do you call a Blondie with black hair?
A: artificial intelligence

Q: if a Blondie and a brunette fell off a building, who will reach 1st?
A: the brunette, cuz the Blondie will need to stop midway to ask for directions.

hope you will be satiated with these 2 jokes......lol

cheers

Answer 6

I will amuse you but first you have to tell me what kind of amusement you want.There are all kinds of amusements.
Jokes, activities, books, movies, porno, foreplay, and other more serious amusements..wink wink...

Answer 7

Amuse yourself: get a mirror.

Answer 8

Hand. Penis. Lube. Enjoy.