sex at 14?

Question

i'm 14 and i have thought about having sex with my boyfriend,,,i love him alot and he has been there for me. i have known him for years and i have been with im for 5 months...(this is the 2nd timelast time it was almost a year... i was too young. in my opinion,) i am a firm believer in no sex before marriage, but recently my feelings for my bf have changed that little by little. i have thought about us having sex and about having sex and i want to but don't know if i am ready. so i need some advice... how do i make these feelings and thoughts go away? i know i am strong enough to say no to him and myself but i am not sure. and if u think i should not, i have another question for you, how do i make these feelings, thoughts and longings for sex go away? pleze help me. thanks.

wow thanks u guys that gave me good advice!!! i don't hink i really would've done it i just needed that extra helping hand... keep it comin gcuz it's eally helping! and there are so many good ones that i can't evn begin to pick the best... although some r just rude,

He doesn't reallly know about this...he said once that he wanted too but i told him that i'm beleive in abstinence till marriage and he said that he would do whatever i wanted because he loves me.

Answer 1

At 14, you are a little young to have sex, in my opinion, however, I dont know you, and you may be a mature 14 year old.

If you do choose to have sex with your boyfriend, let it be because you are ready to have sex with him, not because you feel like you have to in order to make the relationship go further or because he is pressuring you.

Sex is a confusing act and before you have sex, you need to make sure that in your mind you can filter sex from love. Just because you have sex does not always mean that your boyfriend is going to love you more or vice versa.

Use condoms, dont fall for any other excuse, if he loves you and you love him, condoms are the best way to show it because it shows that you care enough about the other person not to expose him or her to STD's OR the chance of you getting pregnant.

Lastly, talk to him about how you are feeling. If he loves you, he will wait until you are 100% ready to have sex with him.

Good luck... *hugs* and be safe...

Answer 2

I understand you are 14... I understand that you can love someone at this age... but it takes trial and error to understand that love grows into something more than it is now! You probably won't marry this guy, so if your beliefs are to wait until marriage than do it, but I must say from my experience I would want to be experienced before getting married, because once you learn how to have sex it can be an extremely moving situation.
I lost my virginity at 16. I regret it in some ways, because I feel I have had to many partners (or one night stands)...
and now knowing what it feels like to be with someone for 3 years, engaged, and having a child I wish I would have waited to find that someone!
On the other hand when my fiance and I first got together I never would have thought we would be where we are in life now!
Sex is a sticky situation, I totally think you should start birth control just because (I did when I was 13 because my periods were all screwed up) so if you find yourself in the situation then you know you won't become pregnant.... but you also should use condoms because some diseases you can get rid of but others will be with you for the rest of your life and trust me you don't want to have to tell your next partner you have "something"
I think you should wait whether or not its with this guy or not, wait to see if "YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX FOR YOURSELF AND NOT THE GUY"
Having sex is going to hurt until you can learn how to relax... and to relax you have to be with someone you are comfortable with!
Don't suppress your feelings just learn how to react to your feelings in a responsible mature manner.
So wait to have sex for yourself... once this happens you won't only be pleasing the guy, you will be pleasing yourself! Goodluck

Answer 3

The consequences of sex at 14 can be disasterous... Imagine having a baby... even if he stayed with you, it would ruin both your lives at this stage. You can deal with sexual thoughts in other ways. But first, be aware of hormones and instinctual urges so you can avoid tempting situations. You can also find release in other ways.... draw or write stories (you may want to throw them away so the wrong people don't get the wrong ideas) or talk about alternative things to do. If it ever comes down to doing something now (which you already said you were strong enough to avoid) remember alternatives like mutual masterbation or even oral sex as a last resort.

Keep strong!

Answer 4

OK thank you for agreeing in no sex before marriage and im 18 and have a strong relationship but I KNOW that I dont want to mess up the rest of my career and life not to mention by having sex...there is no such thing as safe sex..and even if you didnt believe in no sex before marriage...sweetheart you would still be to young to have intercourse..and I know that it will be hard to wait but on your wedding night...it will be the best thing ever to share that special thing with your husband...please hold off until marriage it will be the best thing. ultimately you cannot make these feelings go away but maybe you and your boyfriend are toooo close already to even be thinking about it.

Answer 5

If you are having any doubts AT ALL, then NO, don't do it. Wow, girly, you have tons of time. Stick with your first instinct, no matter how hard it is, you won't regret it. You can make out and do all kinds of stuff without going all the way. Those thoughts and longings are normal, we have ALL had them. Just focus on other activities. Play games, watch movies (not sexy ones), and pray and those feelings might subside a little. Always have a plan for the time you spend together and the urge won't be so strong. Best of luck and please, save yourself.

Answer 6

I'd say stick with your original thought of not having it. I had sex when I was younger and it is the one thing I regret SO MUCH! Try to think about the benefits of not having sex. It will hurt really bad, you can get pregnant, he can leave you after you tell him you are pregnant, gettting an STD, and things like that. I've known so many people that do get pregnant with a boy they thought loved them and he left them so quickly! Just be careful.

<3,

Answer 7

nicely even as i became in 12 months 8 (im american - i am hoping replaced it wisely) . i became 13 and there became a lady about 4/5 months youthful than me and he or she'd been having sex such as her bf ( who's 3 years older thn her) on condition that she became 11! in recent times, contained in the united kingdom i dont think many do. As of the guidance over there. I wouldnt be stunned if some do, besides the undeniable fact that.

Answer 8

Read the question "Im not even 15 I'm Pregnant and thats just the beggining. HELP? " this sold be all the advice you need, since this irl is going through something you might go through if you decide to have sex

Answer 9

14 is very young to start having sex. Wait til you're 18 or married. It's good that you love him, but you might get pregnant if you don't take the necessary percautions.

Answer 10

Go to the mall and talk to the young woman with babys and ask then how haveing sex at a young age has changed their lifes.