My sister is pregnant with her second child, my mom says diaper shower is okay only?

Question

My sister had a baby boy almost 3 years ago, she saved his baby stuff and some of his clothes but not all of them.



She is now 7 months pregnant with her second baby boy. She went to Babies R Us and registered for clothes, diapers, a new bassinet, and some other things that she either didn’t get at her first shower, or did get but no longer likes or wants.



I gave the invites to my mom with the registry info to my mom and she was not happy about it.



She says its rude to ask for gifts at a second shower, unless the babies are many years apart or say something like the babies’ fathers are different.



She said you can have a shower (like a diaper shower) to welcome a new baby, but you do not ask or expect gifts. She said people can bring gifts if they wish but it is not expected and it is extremely rude to send out a second registry.



My sister is pissed and I am not sure what to do.

Answer 1

I don't think it's rude at all. There are things that your sister may want or need for her second child that she didn't use with her first. Do you know how many new kinds of baby products come out each year? There may be something available now that wasn't available around the time of the birth of her first son. Or maybe she didn't get something for him that she really wishes that she had for the second baby.

I also think it's unfair to expect that the new baby brother will only use his older brother's old clothing. I'm sure that a lot of hand-me-downs will still be used, but this doesn't mean that having a few nice, new sets of clothing for the new baby wouldn't be nice! Your mom is way off-base on this one.

Answer 2

Your mother is 100% correct. Your sister needs to reuse baby stuff and not expect people to keep giving her new things after having a new baby. Give her diapers and a few basic items but no major items, if she already has the same thing that she can reuse. It doesnt matter if she doesnt like her old baby things, she has to reuse it. Having a baby is not about getting new things.
It is not your place to fix this. Your mom has her opinion and your sister has hers. Invite a lot of people and your sister should NOT have registered for this baby. Your sister should make a list of basic items she needs/ would like and you can tell the invited people what she would like. Maybe she will get it, maybe she wont. She should be thankful for whatever gifts she gets. Dont send out the registry to people, it is rude for a second child to expect so much.

Answer 3

PERSONALLY I THINK YOUR MOM'S BEING A biotch. This is not about her it's about your sisters new baby. If your mom dose not want to buy anything or celebrate the pregnancy that's her choice!. She has no right to not want your sister to have a baby shower because it's her 2ed. YES, years yeas ago when people had children very very close together it was common only to have a baby shower for the 1st. My friend Kate has 4 children SHE had a SHOWER party for all 4 and was never told it was wrong. I bought things for all the babies. I'm pregnant with my 3rd my other ones are 8 and 10 I OWN NOTHING fro when they were little. I have to get everything again. I will have a shower and anyone who feels it's wrong or selfish need not show up or DO ANYTHING for my baby.

Answer 4

I have an 8 year old and had a shower.... my send child is 2 and I also got another full bown baby shower...and yes because they were so far apart.... I am expecting a 3rd now .... and I really dont see the point in having another one...let alone asking for people to buy me gifts...

I would say only do a diaper shower too....and just celebrate the joy of a new life...

Have fun!

Answer 5

I take this question very personally because I am in your sister's situation.. I have a 3 year old and I am now 4 months pregnant.. my friend also claims its not proper etiquitte to throw another baby shower, but in my opinion who cares what people think??

Many factors play into my situation, my husband passed away in April, before we knew we were expecting... this is one way for me to celebrate his life as well as his miracle he left behind.. but even if he were still here, him and I would both agree this is the right thing to do.. our new baby deserves nice things just as the first, especially if this child is a diffrent sex then the last, you definetly want to take a whole different approach..

listen, I'll put it like this, plan to celebrate the best way you know how- dont short change anyone especially this new baby, and whoever doesnt like it and does not agree with it, doesnt have to come, and more than likely if they felt that way in the begining, they wont show anyway- but thats ok its all about celebrating NEW life... not USED life, if you know what I mean.

Answer 6

The only time a second baby shower is considered necessary is when a woman has a change of life baby (i.e. has a teenage child and suddenly finds herself pregnant). By that time, all the baby clothes are long gone, and the ones that have been saved, are too dated, and generally saved for sentimental reasons. Cribs, walker, carseats, etc. are long past their safe-to-use stage, and are generally gone too. In that case, the woman needs a babyshower.

Other than that, having a second shower (even if it's only for diapers, etc.) is just outright tacky and uncalled for. It would be similar to you getting married, and your parents inviting all of THEIR friends so you get more gifts/money. Tacky tacky tacky.

Answer 7

I agree with your mother. It's bad taste to have showers for subsequent children. The shower is for someone who is expecting a child but doesn't have the things needed for a new baby. Since this is a second child, it's inappropriate.

I wouldn't go to the shower if invited if I were expected to bring a gift.

If your sister wants new things because she doesn't like the things that she got for her son anymore, she can buy them herself. And I'd say that even if the second child were of a different sex than the first.

Answer 8

Yeah I've never heard of showers for second babies..your sister needs to realize that by the time you have your second kid, most people are well off and can afford the things they need unlike with the first child and you need a little bit of a start. It's a little rude for her to have registered unless someone has decided to throw her a shower...but to register on her own is a bit rude.

Answer 9

Most generally - etiquette states that you only get a baby shower for your first baby. Sorry.

You usually get minor gifts from family and friends for each additional child you have, but not big items. You are responsible for those - If you want to be thrifty, go to garage sales or thrift stores.

I think that a welcome baby diaper shower is a wonderful idea - your mom is right - I kind of think your sister is just being a little selfish.

Answer 10

It's perfectly fine to have a shower for your second baby (or any beyond that). I have been to many baby showers for babies that weren't the first - the parents still need things and people still want to celebrate the fact that there is a new baby coming! I think your mom is wrong.