I have a boyfriend & we have been together for 3 yrs, he doesn't let me go anywhere public alone, because he thinks all this guys are going to talk to me, and he says that is not right, also does not let me go out with any of my friends, I haven't talked to them in a while for the same reason, or if he does let me go I have to wear pants and a shirt that does not show my cleavage. I can only wear tube tops and shorts when I am with him, and if I don't answer my phone he will come to my house right away, and when I do go somewhere, when I come back he is always asking me " So did anybody try to talk to you?" I have been w/ him for 3 years, I don't know if this is normal anymore, he tells me that if I already have a boyfriend why do I have to go out. When I decide I am going to finally leave him, I just can't it is easier to stay in the relationship because he will folow me to work, follow me home, and when i go insisde my house he sits outside my house until I go to sleep.
2006-06-30 08:44:06 · 16 answers · asked by Princess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He seems VERY insecure. you need to ditch him it only gets worse. you are not his property
2006-06-30 08:47:20 · answer #1 · answered by king kong 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT normal! I was in a ten year abusive relationship and it started out just as you are saying. It only gets worse, sweetie, not better. He has got some insecurities about himself and losing you and it shows in the form of control. This is not a healthy relationship that you are in and should consider getting out. I imagine you are starting to feel closed in and feel as if you cannot do anything without his approval or him being there, right? You should have a healthy balance of boyfriend, family, and friends....if he controls every move you make from dressing to who you can talk to, it is time to really think about becoming your own person again and getting away.
I feel for you! Good luck!
2006-06-30 08:51:46 · answer #2 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy like that - I was NOT allowed to leave my house without him -- if I did, I would have to be on my way to visit him and would have to "check in" when leaving (to go to his house) or when I got home. He would say because he didn't want anyone hitting on me - blah blah blah -- The truth???? We dated for 4 years and finally one day his mother pulled me aside and said that she couldn't let it go on any longer - that he was cheating on me for 3 out of the 4 years. I didn't have a clue (cause I was stupid) and the reason I had to stay home or tell him when i was leaving was because he was so afraid I would catch him with the other woman.
2006-06-30 08:52:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey this is called domestic abuse. he's an insecure control freak, this is all about him it has nothing to do with you. he would be the same way with any girl. this is exactly the kind of guy that turns into a wife beater, don't do it. get out of it now while you still can. do a search for the 'cycle of violence' it will explain all of this to you and open your eyes to what you are really dealing with here and how you can expect it to escalate if you don't get out. also call a domestic violence hotline, you can be anonymous but they will help you understand what is happening here and what you can do about it, they will not push you to anything they will just listen and help you and he won't get in trouble over your calling at all! PLEASE educate yourself NOW! and in the future if someone tries to control you like this either leave the first time it happens or put your foot down immediately and let him know its not happening that way. this is alot of things but LOVE is not one of them!!
2006-06-30 08:52:21 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish i could be there to talk to you but like every body else is saying you need to be care full. you may not know it but this is abuse and if he cared for you he would like to see you happy not at home wondering what the next accusation will be. he is just too controlling over you and your letting him. right now he's abusing you emotionally and spritually. i wish you would leave now before he goes to the next stage physical abuse if it hasnt gone that far. please leave now especially since you still have the relationship with your friends and most of all your family! if he'd care he would want to see you SMILE! there's a little chance he'll change but dont risk your life to find out. i know its hard but really think hard and find someone to talk to. someone you can trust and believe in. he doesnt believe in you and he doesnt love you the way you need to be loved.
2006-06-30 09:05:52 · answer #5 · answered by ???? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THIS IS ABUSE!!!! Yes,definitely leave this man and get a restraining order to keep him away. This is not "normal" and will not get better. He does not love you, he wants to control you. And he seems to be doing a good job. Do not wait for him to start physically abusing you (slapping, shoving, hitting) because you talked to someone or looked at someone. I would urge you to call any of the domestic violence hotlines in your area and tell them what you have told us. They can help!
2006-06-30 08:53:28 · answer #6 · answered by peachyone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT GIRL!!! He is psycho!!!!!!!!!!!! I had a couple like that and although my husband isnt jealous at all which is also kinda irritating at least hes not a stalker and i can breathe and actually go places! Dont torture yourself and live in hell with that crazy man, Some degree of jealousy is healthy but not THAT! I would be scared for my life if I was with someone like that.
2006-06-30 08:49:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he dosent trust you for some reason and he mightess well put you in a black robe with your face covered.maybe one of his last girlfriends cheated on him so he no longer trust anyone.But what you need to do is sit him down and talk to him about this because is isnt fair. tell him your going out just to hang out with your friends and have fun not to cheat.Ithought i was bad but he's pretty bad.
2006-06-30 08:59:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, this is not normal. He is controlling you, not loving you. Get out now while you can. He is mentally and emotionally abusing you. Call on your friends and family for help or if they are not around, find a counselling service that can help.
2006-06-30 08:56:09 · answer #9 · answered by Chay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow it seems that he is 2 jealious n insecure.....its cute when a guy gets jealious but there is a line..n i think that he is crossing it...it sounds like he is really controling...THATS NOT GOOD!!! i dont kno u but i kno that its not good 2 b in a relationship wit someone who is controling...god forbid u move in 2gether wats it gonna b like then when he can actually lock u in the house ... u need 2 end it while u can seriously
2006-06-30 08:52:33 · answer #10 · answered by madly in love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds more like he's trying to control you rather than being jealous. i say you should dump him cuz if you cant hang out or talk to your friends then its more than jealousy.
2006-06-30 09:26:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋