For the last four months my husband and I been separated, living in different homes and such. We been going out places, such as dinner and the movies, road trips, and etc. We are now constantly talking on the phone, sending text messages, and emails. We are communicating more than ever (which was the root of our breakup). We are separated because we both cheated and we are trying to fix our marriage. Divorce is not an option right now because we still love each other and our family. But my question is should we try to date first to ease back into our relationship or stay separated. It can be heartbreaking because we are not whole right now.
2006-06-30 08:33:45 · 25 answers · asked by RONNIEKAT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BRAVO !!!
I am glad you are doing the best thing for your marriage.
Most couples cheat or want to cheat, because they miss the romance. Now, listen to me, TRUE love never dies...
many times, married people get lazy > take each other for granted, and stop flirting.
The best way to repair this, is
begin the flirtations again, and begin to respect each other's needs become best-friends and really care about each other's needs. GIVE what you want to receive, it works!
I always advise to RENEW the romance part.
You two are on the right track.
You obviously still love each other (as I said)
Rebuilt the TRUST...tell each other the truth how the cheat was only about sex, not love, and it felt awful and disgusting afterward.
Become best-friends, which was probably lacking before...
Eliminate the pride...it gets you nothing, and also can distort love. Pride is a nasty demon to marriages...
And when you two decide to try again,
don't every let the romance, flirting, and consideration ever die again.
Always DATE you mate ESPECIALLY after marriage.
I wish you LOVE
stw
2006-06-30 08:43:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes feel free to date. Sometimes being seperated open the lines of communication. Take things slow and easy, don't rush back into a relationship. Make sure the problems that caused the seperation are resolved and a plan is in place to keep communication flowing then get back together if desired
2006-06-30 16:40:13 · answer #2 · answered by uniroyalfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmmmm.. what do you call it when you do go out to dinner and the movies or road trips etc etc??? Sounds like dating to me.
Are you asking if you should have sex now? I dont know. You both cheated so its like your both on an even playing field. If both of you can refrain from asking about the others cheating friend I think its the only way to find out if you can make a full time go of it.
PLEASE !! use some kind of birth control!! You sure dont want a pregnancy to complicate things furthur!
2006-06-30 15:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think thats great because me and my wife were separated for 3yrs and she called me out of the blue and wanted us to get back together and i didnt give it a second thought (in spite of me dating 5 women at that time and she having someone living w/ her). We were still in love w/ each other at that time but failed to realize and fix the problems that actually broke us up. But in your case this sounds like a great arrangement for the both of you because its giving the both of you time to really date each other againg (or for the very 1st time). But then again 3yrs is a very long time to be apart, I just wish that we had the same opportunity as you do cause i'd probably be all over it.
2006-06-30 16:27:41 · answer #4 · answered by healinhands01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your talking now is everything in the open? You have to be open and honest with each other. Right now being in different houses you have youor own space do you like it like that or not lie everything on the line and work hard together to make sure you know and want the same thing other wise move on.
2006-06-30 15:45:33 · answer #5 · answered by kayla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dating is the perfect way to attempt to rekindle the romance of a marriage gone bad. think about it. dating is what made you get married to begin with so its only natural that you want to relive the good days you had before things went south. marriage is a life long commitment and one not to be taken lightly. i commend both of you for admitting both of your faults in the marriage and both of you giving it a real shot at working it out together. take your time and enjoy each other like you did before you tied the knot. good luck to you. sounds like you are on the right track.
2006-06-30 15:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by amyclay350 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you still love each other, why not try to date again? i think that will be a good opportunity to fix any problems, the only thing you have to be sure is that later the same problems that make you broke up are coming again, that happens... when you are dating everything is wonderful but after you get married, everything change and feels different. but like i sayd if you both are sure that you still love each other try it, and be sure that is love and not need! good luck
2006-06-30 15:39:50 · answer #7 · answered by helen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely dating to work up to a reunion is a good idea. Just be sure to work at the problems you were having before you split up before you actually try to get back together. Don't let the same mistakes tear you apart again.
2006-06-30 15:39:19 · answer #8 · answered by Peaches 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are on the right track to put things back together. Try dating for a while and spending time together before he moves back in. It can be very hard on the kids to go back and forth. (I think you said you had a family). Good luck and keep working on it.
2006-06-30 15:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you two are already dating so I see no problem officially dating and taking it up a notch. If you are going to have any hope of reconciliation then you have to keep things moving forward. Remember, communication was your problem so as you take each step make sure you don't lose that.
2006-06-30 15:37:57 · answer #10 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋