rate this poem 1-10, and comment?

Question

The girl she hated had to die.
The ugliness felt in her heart had to be removed.
She tied the rope.
She tied it tight.
As she tied it to the rafter in the barn,
she remembered all the hurt she has felt.
The girl stepped onto the stool,
standing tall above all else.
When the noose was placed around her neck,
the barn doors blew open.
She felt the draft of clod air chill her to the bone.
As the rope lay across her ever so gently,
the dejected girl began to recollect the happy times.
They seemed so long ago.
The remorse times seemed to override the blessed.
As her feet left the solid wood beneath them,
her heart began to race.
Whatever happened to her had to be better than what was here.
She began to feel at peace for a moment,
but then the remembrance came again.
The memories of what she once had with her love.
What made her so special that she could get away from her troubles?
Why did she feel the need,
to run away from what every body else goes through?
It may be hard,
but she was no different she realized.
This too would have passed.
If only she had not given up.
Her whole life she had loved a challenge.
Now she had a challenge,
and here she was running away again.
Her arms began to grope at her throat,
her lungs grasping for breath.
She felt true regret for the first time in this life.
The colors began to fade in her eyes,
and she saw a shadow racing towards her.
The soft hands of another struggling at the rope felt cold against her skin.
She fell to the firm ground which before had seemed so far away.
The form which had brought her back embraced her body
as her eyelids fell shut.
Thankful for the love she felt for this woman,
thankful for the dance she had experience with death.
She knew her life from now on would be much different.

Answer 1

1

Answer 2

Theme: 9+. Actually, I don't think that it's graphic enough. In the second line, you mention ugliness. That is an interesting irony as the scene is set up to be one of ugliness.

Form: 5. It's OK, but somehow it doesn't feel like a poem, more like a narrative. I understand that its form is abstract, but there are a few tweaks that would allow it to flow a bit more in the stream of thought.

Also, it feels a little too much like deus ex machina. From where does the rescuer come? Who is she, the mother, the daugther, the lover? And why does she arrive in the nick of time?

Overall: 7. That's my rating for what it's worth. Keep up the good work.

Answer 3

8

Answer 4

I rate this poem a 9. I honestly think that this poem was great, I think that the meaning of this poem is that she's trying to say that you should never give up on life and if given a second chance you should make the most out of it and when ever you feel like giving up you should be thankful that there will be a friend by your side helping you through. I think that this was a really good poem.. GOOD WRITE>

Answer 5

I give it a 2, because it strikes a really dark nerve. I'd advise to lean more towards something that ryhmes, unless you really have to stick with the abstract crap.


ps/ find a friend

Answer 6

i would say a 9

Answer 7

It's okay
I would give it a 6
Kind of too physically graphic

Answer 8

i give u a 9 it is deep and intense

Answer 9

10+ nice.. ineteresting...hard ... complicated.... amaizing....


* good job.... You defenatly took me there...time & place......*