A sunny warm summer day
I step out into my yard and feel the sun on my face.
I feel the soft grass beneath my toes.
I begin to walk.
The sun slowly slips from sight.
I feel a drop of rain land on my shoulder, cool and soft.
I continue walking as I feel more drops
landing on my shoulders, head, and bosom.
As I pause I look up and close my eyes.
I feel the light rain landing on my face.
I feel it slowly trickle down my cheeks,
it dribbles near my ears and down my neck.
I open my mouth and let it leak in..
It tastes sweet and fresh.
I love the rain with all its beauty and peace.
2006-06-30 08:27:55 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
most of my poems are mostly about death and all that other "emo" stuff, and lately ive been trying out sum other stuff. and ive tried forms, but ive really got to work on that quite a bit more. klol
2006-06-30 08:35:32 · update #1
I give it a 8. If you like it and it takes your mind to a good place, thats all that matters. And remember, poems dont have to rhyme
2006-06-30 08:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by momma2jaz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10
2006-06-30 11:01:32 · answer #2 · answered by ~Devilz~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5
2006-06-30 08:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 - I love how you're describing what you're feeling physically but it needs that little something (something edgy) to make it stand out. Try to improve the vocabulary you've used to. Also work on the ending - don't end it so abruptly. You need to convey your emotions more - how do you feel about the rain emotionally rather than physically? What's the meaning behind your poem? What are you trying to convey to the reader? Hope this gives you some ideas. You're good with words though and you'll be even better with some work!
2006-06-30 08:32:37 · answer #4 · answered by iLumina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On a scale of 1 to 10 I would give this a 5. I just dont feel the emotion that poems are supposed to bring~I think you have a good concept just try bring a little more emotion into it~ this would add meaning to your work which would make people understand you better as a person~
2006-06-30 08:31:58 · answer #5 · answered by Lucid_dreams 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely we could see, before everything i'm going to provide you a 5 via fact a reliable poem ought to catch your interest good away and your poem did no longer try this each and every person right even though it is not proper considering the fact which you're expressing your self and not me. the important element is which you exhibit what you experience. in case you attempt to make human beings desire to be sure it I propose you place "wish and faith" into it...my opinion of direction, and get interest good away. Metaphorse could be effective yet do no longer use cliches together with chicken in a cage. attempt the "napping ferine" as in which you have ability in you and you're unlikely to provide up.
2016-11-01 00:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ON A SCALE 1 TO 10, i WOULD GIVE YOU A 7
2006-06-30 08:32:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, I would say a 4 whats the deeper meaning behind it!
2006-06-30 08:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by trifreak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its deep but i think you could've made it rhyme alittle better i give it a 7
2006-06-30 08:31:35 · answer #9 · answered by ♫♪Ms.J♥Virgo♣♠ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it, I was never much of a poetry person but I guess its good
2006-06-30 08:30:52 · answer #10 · answered by Lilith C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋