I think me and my husband are heading toward divorce and I can't take this crap any more!! Things have been rocky and now he is just being downright mean and saying hateful things and getting mad about little bitty small things, this isn't the man I married 5 years ago?! When was your breaking point? And how did it go, let me know if I can e-mail you for more questions!!
2006-06-30 08:14:19 · 22 answers · asked by kgirlmamma 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I knew when he left for work, and didn't come home. From that point on the door was locked. He was the type that took, but never gave anything.
2006-06-30 08:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by tictak kat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Things were tense ... I knew he was having an affair... but for the main part we were leaving peacefully together separately.
Major breaking point -- our three year old looked at me one day and said "You snuggle me, Daddy snuggles me, but you never snuggle Daddy." Then and there I realized staying together "for the children's sake" was doing them more harm than good. The needed to see a warm healthy happy relationship and that wasn't happening in our house.
Another breaking point .... I realize I didn't hear the music anymore.... sounds trite, but music was always important to me and I realized that I didn't ever turn the radio on anymore ... I hadn't touched my violin in forever. I couldn't sing along to any music if it was newer than a couple years.
Sounds like both of you are done, but neither wants to be the "bad guy". Sit down and have a calm conversation about how this relationship is not healthy for either of you and decide if you want to fix it or move on. Life is too short to be miserable.
And if you have kids, realize that you don't have to like each other .... and at times you won't ..... but that you both need to be calm and civil so that the kids don't suffer any more than necessary. Don't say negative things about the other parent to the kids and work out a parenting plan that will work for you AND the kids .... and realize that the plan will need to be a bit flexible based on the kids activities and needs. Together we have decided that the kids will be allowed to have a normal life -- and if that means that one stays with Dad Saturday night while the other one goes over to a friend's house for a sleepover....it's OK because that is what would have happened if we were a traditional family. People are amazed that we work so well together regarding the kid issues.
2006-06-30 15:32:08 · answer #2 · answered by Wisdomwoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has ups and downs, the real question is there still love between u and him, and do u both want to work on the marriage, 1 person alone cant make it work no matter how much u love them it has to be mutual.. have u check into counseling?? will he go?? if either of you are unwilling to get help, then u know its over when u just dont have any fight left in you to try anymore, when u can for see a life with out him in it.. when u feel that u did it all, and theres just no love there anymore.. U'll know in the pit of your soul when u just cant keep going.. but make sure its not just a rough patch that cant be worked out first..
Good luck
2006-06-30 15:56:30 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i actually have a couple of exhusbands so i think it depends, either when something big happened that was a personal deal breaker, beyond forgiving (my ex started using drugs and then lied about it) no way that crap was happening in my house with my kids around!! when its this everyday, nit picking stuff it just wears you down, for me i'll just get to a point where there just isn't anymore...anymore what you ask? anymore, anything, just nothing in me that cares whether i ever see him again or not and most of me that prefers that i don't. once i get to that point there is no going back, that person will never be able to be anything to me again. sure you can email me, its cuffmedano@yahoo. i'm sorry i've been there and its an awful feeling! it will get better though!
2006-06-30 15:20:30 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I divorced my ex because he turned into a violent alcoholic, and kept getting worse and worse. We were never excited to see eachother, and he rarely came home. I hit a point where I realized I was never going to be happy with this person, and that I should stop wasting my life. Some men just don't change. So I divorced him, and have since remarried someone who is completely different. Now I can be happy forever!
Good luck to you! nmhenle27@yahoo.com
2006-06-30 15:19:33 · answer #5 · answered by mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me it was a lot of things. Two rounds of counseling. Stealing, drugs, etc. At that point I finally decided it was better for the kids and everyone involved to call it quits.
But no one but you can make that decision. You have to be able to look in the mirror and say, I TRIED! And if you can do that and not look back feeling guilty than it is time.
Good luck.
2006-06-30 18:13:29 · answer #6 · answered by wn_all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to get out. My now ex husband did the exact things to me. Delibertly say things that he knew would upset me or just pick fights with me so he would have an excuse to leave for hours which adventually turned into weekends he would be gone. Anyway, I tried to hang in there until one of our arguments got so bad that I wound up in a choke hold wondering if I was gonna die that night. Get out before it is too late.
2006-06-30 16:13:17 · answer #7 · answered by Shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My breaking point was when I saw him with someone else.
I had to get to that point to figure it out since I ignored when he stopped wearing his wedding band, ignored when he told me that he didn't love me anymore, completkly ignored his lies and lame excuses and when we argued about the smallest stuff so he would have an excuse to get out of the house and do his thing.
I have to wait to psysically see him with his misstress in bed after he broke my heart, take make dignity and self seteem away and dragged me thru the mud. Do you really want to wait until you get there?
Try some couseling if you think that things can work out. Good luck
2006-06-30 15:20:43 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The final straw....well,it was after the death of my sister's baby. It was a horrible time, my family was devastated. I was handling all of the arrangements, because I couldn't bear for my sister to have to do it. By the end of the2nd day, I was exhausted and collapsed at the hotel. He wanted sex, and I just wanted to cry myself to sleep. He started screaming, and calling me names, then opened the hotel door and started yelling outside all of these horrible names. I just layed there in a towel sobbing.
He was physically and mentally abusive for 8 years,stole $ from our accounts , and a raging alcoholic.
But that day was the day I knew he would never change.
2006-06-30 15:36:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My x husband was in Japan on Military assignment and cheated on me. I could have forgiven him for the cheating part if he would have been honest about it. However, he decided to lie to my face after I already knew what took place over there. If your going to cheat and then lie about it, this was ENOUGH in my book. Of course he had the nerve to say I still want sex with you even though we are divorcing. I told him NO.
2006-06-30 15:18:22 · answer #10 · answered by sweetdreamin96 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋