Should I just pack up my baby girl and leave him since being this "chuck norris" like stone of a man is more important to him than showing love to his new family. I can't get over it.Should I just leave and maybe find a sensitive man, who will be emphathetic to me and my baby?
2006-06-30 08:13:31 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Please, you all don't have to further hurt my feelings. please have some sympathy for me. I don't hate any of you. Please don't be so mean to me.
2006-06-30 08:39:15 · update #1
You are not serious, are you? This is such an emotional time and stressful as well. He may have had conflicting emotions watching you endure the pain of childbirth and the babies arrival.
My husband was there for the birth of our four children, he never shed a tear, but I would never doubt his love for his children. He was there.
2006-07-02 06:57:45 · answer #1 · answered by fasn8n_67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband normally an emotional person, or is he always the calm/rational one during times when people are usually emotional? If he's a "manly man" and never cries, I wouldn't be too surprised that he didn't cry at the birth of your daughter. If he's usually very sensitive and emotional, and he didn't cry...well, I don't know.
Even though women have to do all the "hard" work (carrying the baby, giving birth, etc.) it can be a very trying and difficult time for men, too. He might be afraid that your daughter will come between the two of you. He's had you to himself for so long, now there's this tiny crying, screaming, hungry, contantly-needing-attention little girl who's suddenly getting all of your time and consideration. He's sort of left out in the back burner. Not that you're doing this intentionally...it's normal. All women do it. Try telling him this and letting him know that you still love HIM.
2006-06-30 14:25:35 · answer #2 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoever told you that people are supposed to cry at the birth of their children lied to you. Whatever book you read that said that is supposed to happen, is wrong.
You need to understand that men and women are different. The biochemicals that drive your emotional states (hormones) are not the same as those in a man. It is not surprising that you have different reactions. You should read the John Gray books on men and women (Venus and Mars books). They are very insightful about this.
You sound to me like an emotionally driven person who seeks to control others, and you are no doubt using this to manipulate him through acting as though you have been harmed, and you haven't been. You would end your marraige and take his daughter away because he didn't respond the way you did or the way that you wanted him to? That's no way to treat your husband. Shame on you.
He is not responsible for your happiness, you are. He is not supposed to behave the way that you do, or the way that you want him to. Unless you both agreed that he would cry at the birth, or he promised you that he would, then you are waaaaaay out of line to even be thinking this way. Grow up!
2006-06-30 09:02:40 · answer #3 · answered by Lance 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had two sets of twins and did not cry one time. I felt NO attachment to these creatures at all at first. Sorry. I even carried them for 9 months. Sorry again. Give the guy a break. I am sure that you are emotional right now and maybe overly so (sorry again). Love sometimes takes time. I would GLADLY throw myself in front of a speeding train for anyone of them now anytime and twice on Sunday. PS I cried when they were born too. But I was just tired and emotional. Other women feel this way too. It will all be fine.
2006-06-30 08:24:44 · answer #4 · answered by theworldmatters 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is it just me or does anyone else think you are nuts!? what do you want a piece of milktoast for a man? i'm not saying men who cry are weak, but neither am i saying men who don't arn't worth anything. i'm disgusted by your question! you are shallow!!does he beat you? or is his only offense not crying at the birth? you are a hard woman, i bet he finds it almost impossible to please you. you married the man right, did you not know he didn't show his feelings readily before that? if your man is a good provider, husband and father then get over it you selfish whiner! jeezze!!!! what is wrong with women like you ? you give the rest of us a bad name. should he have cried to show his love? oh i get it you think he doesn't love his baby because he didn't cry? you are a real piece of work. ipersonally i think your little girl will be better of with her daddy than a mom that has no sense. some men can be stoic and might not want to cry infront of a delivery room fulll of medical staff, doesn't mean he doesn't love his family. i think he should take his baby and find a kinder and more understanding wife.
my husband didn't cry at either of our births but it didn't mean he wasn't thrilled with our children.
2006-06-30 08:28:19 · answer #5 · answered by kaylamay64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should take a child away from her father because he isn't apparently emotional. I think most men want to cry, but because they grew up being trained that crying is bad, they just don't. And if you do leave, why would you want to deal with the hardships of being a single mother, risking you may never find this ideal, sensitive guy you are looking for? Men show love in different ways---like first of all, agreeing to marry you and stay with you, providing for you, etc... Just as long as his character doesn't turn into one of verbal and physical abuse.
2006-06-30 08:17:58 · answer #6 · answered by charyl92678 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men are able to cry when they feel emotions. They show their emotions in other ways. Does he want to hold the baby? Does he say how precious she is? Also, your hormones are still way out of whack. Give your body a chance to get back to normal, usually 4 to 6 weeks after baby is born. Is this the only reason you want to leave him? Or is there more to the story?
2006-06-30 08:21:57 · answer #7 · answered by Jennilee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he is a guy, tell you the truth I would feel more comfortable if he did not cry. I hate getting all emotional, I dont think I would cry. Everyone is different, and that does not mean he does not care aobut his family. Maybe the pregnancy hormones have caused you to get a little moody or somthing, becasue I mean you dont just leave your fathers baby becasue he did not cry at her birth.
2006-06-30 08:49:25 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it'll be okay... don't act too quickly. Good men are hard to find and you must have loved something about him before. This is a stressful time for all of you and people react differently to stress - good or bad stress.
Have you talked to your doctor about how you are feeling? It may be a simple case of post-partum blues or depression. It can make something small into something you dwell on and feel like you can't get past. It can even lead you to make decisions you wouldn't otherwise make and may well regret later. At least check in with your doc for some advice and maybe the names of counselors who specialize in motherhood issues.
Good luck, hang in there.
2006-07-01 21:23:18 · answer #9 · answered by hrh_gracee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
women get emotional because different hormones are released in our body when we see or feel something. men can have the same loving or happy feelings but the same hormones aren't released. talk to your husband and if he says he was happy and loves the baby then believe him! do you have any reason to not believe him? crying isn't the only way to show love to a family! being a good father and there for his wife IS
2006-06-30 08:18:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋