sometimes im ok with everything thats happening around me, but then i just cant seem to put it all behind, and i start thinking about all the things he did.
2006-06-30 08:02:51 · 28 answers · asked by mariposa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get even, sleep with one of his best friends, forgive yourself and then forgive him
2006-06-30 08:04:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The curse of the cheating x husband.. totally feel your pain, been divorced 10 years and still cant seem to figure out what i did wrong, how on earth i could of been anymore to him then i was for him to of done such a thing.. then you go on with your life.. new bf's and the deamons with in keep chanting that this man will surely do it to u too.. so the first time something looks even slightly shadey u start thinking this guy is going to cheat on you too.. to the point that you feel insane with jealousy, and find yourself snooping through the new guys things because you dont want to be blind this time and look like a fool if he's cheating you want to know up front before you can be destroyed again..
Hun wish there was a sure fire cure.. but theres not, he crushed ur trust..possibly your family by doing what he did.. best u can do is try to believe in love again that not all men cheat, that your x husband was nothing more then a little boy trapped in a mans body that thought with the head in his pants instead of the head on his shoulders.. You did nothing wrong.. he's the loser , and one day he'll realize what all he lost because of what? a cheap thrill..
It takes time the scars are deep, but one day if ur lucky like i am, you'll find a man that understands what its like to be hurt so badly, and the scars that you have, and help u see that men can be trusted again, that the Happiness bubble that your so scared of bursting again, wont.. and u'll be ok..
Just know some men are just natural born IDIOTS..
Good luck, and dont worry it will be ok... u'll see..
2006-06-30 15:18:30 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will you ever get over it?? probably not----it's pretty hard to erase the image of your husband being intimate with another woman, isn't it? But he is now your ex, and you need to start thinking about yourself. You probably want another relationship, right? advice: If you need to loose some weight, do it, if you don't have a drop dead killer smile, go to the best cosmetic dentist in your area, spends some bucks on great clothes, have a dynamite photo taken and put up a great profile on Yahoo Personals, and Match.com. There are great guys out there (and some real nuts, just like those who sit next to you in church). Let the computer do the sorting.
2006-06-30 15:15:39 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't! Accept it for what it is...a thing of the past. His actions had NOTHING to do with you as a person. They occurred because of a failure on his part...lack of self confidence. He sought out ego strokes and he got them...nothing more, nothing less. You were NOT the fool here, he was/is. So STOP thinking so much and start DOING. There is a world out there crying for your talents. Start now. Everytime one of these thoughts enters your mind, laugh at your self and change the subject! ONLY you can stop this..it is no longer his fault, it is yours. You are the one bringing up a past that cannot be changed. YOU are the one who chooses to wallow in self pity. It is time to simply stop it. Nothing more, nothing less will do. Good luck, and when you finish this journey, you will have learned one of life's greatest lessons...only we can control how we feel. We are responsible for our feelings, no one else.
2006-06-30 15:08:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By not dwelling on it. People need to learn how to get over things. I can understand being a little out of it for a month but some people still whine about crap that happened a year ago. To be blunt, he cheated, you got divorced, it's over and done with. The only way to get over it is to just get over it.
2006-06-30 15:06:12 · answer #5 · answered by jdscorrupted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have forgiven, but you will never forget. If it happened once, there is no gaurantee that it won't happen again no matter what promises are made. No matter how you choose to go on, you are never going to be truely happy and lets face it, you'll never trust him in anything he does. There will always be a million questions in the back of your mind. Why stress yourself out over it. If you weren't worth it to him to stay faithful to you, then why is it worth it to you to give 100% and still have to dwell on the truth at hand.
2006-06-30 15:11:48 · answer #6 · answered by Punkie Brewster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is perfectly normal, it is not your fault HE CHEATED!!!! My advice would be to consider what has happened and move forward, try out new things, hang out with your girlfriends more or if you have children, devote more time to them. Surround yourself with people that are supportive, maybe you ould talk more with your mom. But if you still have feelings of grief over this I wouldn't stress about it. That was something that you didn't control nor did you deserve and it's going to take sometime to get over. Good Luck and I hope this helps :))
2006-06-30 15:07:38 · answer #7 · answered by Love-Me-Only 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband cheated on me 5 years and I still get upset. It really pisses me off because I'm the one who didn't do anything wrong yet I still am being punished every time it crosses my mind (like 100 times a day) meanwhile my husband and his scank were the wrong doers and do you think it ever crosses their minds? Of course not - they don't even remember it and its all I think about.
I do have to say it gets easier as time passes but you never forget. I guess you still love him and it still hurts -- but I think when you meet someone else and fall in love again, you will get past it - I promise
2006-06-30 15:08:19 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, I know it hurts to be cheated on. You need to luck at the person he is, nomatter what excuse they give you wernt the one that caused them to cheat. this is something that he did because he was unhappy with him self. YOu are a good person because he stayed faithful. Now if I were you I would sit back and enjoy life know that you are a good person because you didn't cheat you were honest and faithful. Keep your head up and remember you deserve better don't settle for less. Take care
2006-06-30 15:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, besides the help of professionals, the only thing which will help you get past all the hurt is time. Don't be so hard on yourself girl! He's your ex now and no longer deserves your attention (whether he is there or not). Remember you are not alone, and you will get past this and be all the better for it. We are never dealt problems we cannot deal with. ;)
2006-06-30 15:07:53 · answer #10 · answered by Chloe McIntosh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since he's an EX-husband it obviously was a deal breaker for you. it would be very hurtful and it's not easy to get over something like that. if you've let sufficient time go time and still can't get over it i'd suggest seeing a counslor to work thru your feelings and to help you move on. focus on yourself, forget him and get busy with new activities and social outings. there's no point in wasting time feeling bad about someting you cannot change and is in your past. look ahead to life without him & good luck
2006-06-30 15:07:20 · answer #11 · answered by sunnyca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋