Help me deal with my husband!!!!?

Question

I am 15 weeks pregnant and it seems like everything my husband says gets on my nerves. It's like he does not understand how hard on my body this is or why I am tired all the time and why I'm not "in the mood". Can someone please give me advice on how to deal with him before I choke the man :)

I guess I forgot to mention I have given several books magazines and even web sites that help explaine I bought a book for "Expecting Fathers" on how to help cope. He didn't pay mind to any of it. It's like talking to a brick wall or something...............

Answer 1

They are what they are - and they are MEN....

Keep in mind that you are hormonal, men are pigs and no matter how hard you try - he is not going to understand how you are feeling, because there is nothing and I mean nothing that a man goes through that even compares to being pregnant and giving birth to a child.

Answer 2

Probably the best thiing to do is give him an article (or book) or what pregnancy does to a woman's body and how all those hormones drive us mad and that you need more support from him and less hassle. My husband was very considerate as I had a tough pregnancy but even still it was very hard on a relationship. Try getting him to help more with the housework to take the pressure of you and give him something else to think about and a nap for you in the afternoon will help as well so you don't feel so tired.

Answer 3

He doesn't understand that is exactly it. He will never be pregnant therefore can't really understand what you are going through. This is something you need t realize. You can tell him you are tired or achey but those are just reasons he'd hear any other time.

Why not get him a video or a book so he can understand what is going on with your body. He is only an outsider to what is going on inside you.

Answer 4

I'd go to a book store and find a book just for expecting fathers. Many men just feel left out and confused. Help him to be more active in your pregnancy.Take him to your next doctors appointment. Have the doctor explain to him what you are going through right now. Sometimes having a doctor tell them relaxes them a bit and gives them a better understanding.

Answer 5

Men can be very dense, especially when it comes to sex. All you can do is be honest with him. Don't lead him on if you aren't going to follow through- they hate that. Find an article in a magazine or on the Internet about what is happening with your body and have him read it. Maybe he will understand if someone other than you tells him. Last of all, tell him that this is just a phase. Things will get easier. Good luck.

Answer 6

First, write out what you need in a letter. Less emotional for you then trying to say anyhting to his face. I also agree that you both probably need a bit of an education. You probably don't even realize everything that your body is going through.

"What to expect when you are ecpecting" - AKA the preg women's bible... is a great book, and he can read it too!!

Biggest thing is to COMMUNICATE with him, even if you need to put it in writing to keep your emothions out of it. trust me... I know what I'm talking about on this part... When I have something that needs to be said, I've found that writing it out lets me organize thoughts, and keep emotions out of it so that what I need to be heard can be.

He's got emotions of his own going on too. Probably a bit scared at least, and likely feeling rejected when you aren't in the mood. This can really take it's toll on a guy. He wants to be reassured too (even though I know you are going though a LOT more than he is).

Answer 7

oh, i fixed that quick in my marriage....
i must say that i have THE best husband and he is so sweet and wonderful, yet sometimes, they just don't get it and never will...like pregnancy.

in the begining if we had sex and i wasn't very interested, then in the middle of it i would act like i was getting seriously nauseous. that way he wouldn't mind stopping and i think the thought of getting thrown up on during sex kind of turned him off a bit.
then, i got payback b/c once i was in 2nd trimester full swing i wanted to be close to him A LOT and he was on deployment....
so, what goes around comes around.

i'd just let him know how you're feeling and be honest, hopefully, he will understand. i think guys expect their wives to turn into raving lunatics while pregnant...so, go with it and try to keep yourself in check, too. he is the daddy and still has feelings.

good luck! and take care!

Answer 8

Be patient with him. It probably hasn't sank in yet that he's a father. So he's probably living his life the same way he did before you became pregnant. Once he realizes what kind of changes you both are going to need to make, he'll either step up to the challenge or freak out. And guys will never truly understand what kind of physical strain pregnancy can have on us. Just try to be patient, express your feelings as calmly as you can (try not to nag him, it'll just aggrevate things), and learn some relaxation techniques.

Answer 9

Have your dad dope-slap the bastard. Seriously, having experienced four pregnancies with my wives (well, I was not the best husband when I was younger), I know the changes you are going through. But does the idiot, er, husband know? Have you shown him the picture pamphlets on organ shift, and hormone changes, and demands on your metabolism, and such? Your ob/gyn should have plenty of easy to understand hand-outs that even a boob can grasp. Get a large bundle and whap him on the snout with them. Perhaps then he will wise up.
Good luck.

Answer 10

I know exactly what u r going through. I am 24wks. The have this new thing for men to try out, so they can better understand our issue with being pregnant. I t is called the EMAPTHY BELLY. Look it up and try it out. P.S. Choking never hurts either. I have gave mine hell back in return