Is it considered cheating and should I leave?

Question

I recently found out that my husband has been online on one of those match maker sites only this one is rate X and he has his profile on there looking to meet new women and have bodage parties and stuff, I have no way of knowing if he has already hooked up with any one or just looking to but eaither way I feel VERY betrayd!! I am thinking of packing his things and telling him to go find one of these women to be with, if you can help leave me your e-mail address so I can talk. Thank you

I don't understand why he would do this we have a healthy sex life and he did put in his profile he is looking for 1on1 sex and made it clear he is looking for a women with no kids we have kids together, he has been acting strange latley so I snooped and found out why!!

Answer 1

Yes to both!!! You definitely should (get help if necessary) make a copy of his profile on a CD-rom or diskette and also copy stuff you can find in his email or Internet history. This (along with phone records, if applicable) is concrete evidence in divorce court as proof of unfaithfulness.
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Feel free to click my avatar/profile and contact me (and include your email if you want me to email you back). As you can see, I have been helpful to others in the short time I've been on this site. I cannot imagine your pain, confusion, shock, and humiliation, but I know that you don't have to put up with it, nor do you have to struggle through this trial all by yourself.
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Check out some sites for betrayed spouses, join a local group or organization, or visit a family therapist or marriage counselor. Any of these sources could help you decide what steps to take for your sanity, happiness, and well-being - and that of your family/kids.

Answer 2

Your husband is a fool and out on an ego trip. ... at your expense. It is one thing to do this with your knowledge...sort of a head trip, but fully another to do it behind your back. We are big boys and girls here (hopefully), and I am the most understanding of the bunch...but this one leaves some serious room for doubt as to what is going / will be going down. You can find my email address and it is active...on my profile. I will be happy to discuss what I have found (personally) about this situation. And yes, I am very experienced at spouses cheating.

KGirlMamma......you need to activate your email address here so I can reply to your email...have tried, but the error reads that you have not verified your email with Y!A! Let me know when you do and I will be happy to help in any way I can.

Answer 3

Yes, I agree with the others.......if he hasn't cheated on you, it's just a matter of time. So, either you'll forgive him and he'll have to quit doing that, or he's out of there. Be calm, organize your thoughts. Sit down and have a heart to heart with him, and try to find out his intentions. Maybe this is a thing that he's going through....but I really don't think so. So anyway, you're gonna have to realize what his long term plans are, and if they involve you and the kids. In the meantime, you're gonna have to do a lot of thinking.....on deciding whether he's worth keeping or not...after you know what his plans are. I only wish you the best of luck........

Answer 4

I have a husband who goes on sites like that too. I found out about it and I asked him why. He said that he wasnt going to meet with any of them and that he just needed someone else to talk too. So I just kind of figured that if he was on that site that he wasnt getting enuff excitement from me. So i just spiced things up a little bit in the bedroom, and I havent caught him on there since. that was over a year ago.

Answer 5

I have been in this situation before, just ask him for the truth. I had been with him for over 8 yrs and have learned that no matter who the guy is he is always going to have faults and that all of them do one thing or another!!! I f your relationship is strong and you really love him you can get through anything, especially if y'all have children together.

Answer 6

Pack him up, and make sure you send his handcuffs with him.
It may be innocent...he may just be getting his kicks looking on the site. But if I had to bet, I'd say he is either hooking up, or at least trying to.
Ask him why he feels he needs to look elsewhere, you'd be more than happy to tie him up and beat the living crap out of him :)

Answer 7

You realize your husband is not only looking to cheat on you physcially, but also emotionally? Do you realize that this is the worst type of cheating?

When men cheat is is purely physcial because they are unsatisfied. When a womyn cheats, it is because she is emotionally unsatisfied. Your husband took time out of his day to create a profile emotionally and physcially pleasuring to other womyn. he will pursue them online, to emotionally attract them and arouse them through pure conversation. Instead of wooing them with drinks and vodka, hes using his language.

Get out, hes not the one for you.

Answer 8

Your husband's intentions to look for excitement outside his marriage makes him cheater. I will not suggest to leave him for this reason only. It depends on how your marriage is on whole. You should find out why he is looking for on line flirtation. Can you work on it? Do you want to work on your marriage? You definitely need to talk to him straight and ask him straight questions and try to resolve it.

Answer 9

Interesting... this could just be a fantasy....or you could be in real trouble. I'm guessing there are probably other signs you are seeing that make you wonder. You can talk to me either by email or IM.

[e-mail]

Answer 10

Sounds like he is addicted to pornography and needs help to get out of that addiction.